How To Calm Down a Ranting Driver?

[TrekMad]

I experienced this the other day. Unfortunately if someone is ranting at me (for simply.sitting in the correct lane at traffic lights) I tend to bite back and generally give as good as I get. I've found road ragers are very much the 'norm' rather than exception these days. This can't be the best solution though!@ Thoughts ?

[Mark1978]

Usual advice is to dismiss them and ride on. I generally find that 'fighting' back only makes the situation worse. I know I certainly come away feeling much worse and spend the next hours / days replaying it all in my head as to what I could or should have said.

[TrekMad]

I think its kind of how you are wired. I don't like to be verbally abused for no reason and find it near impossible not to hand it back. Sometimes I think walking away is simply saying to bad drivers ' yeah your behavior is acceptable.' This only encourages worse behavior IMO, there's a time to run and a time to stand up and be counted!

[Mark1978]

I think its kind of how you are wired. I don't like to be verbally abused for no reason and find it near impossible not to hand it back.

Of course, it is nearly impossible. I recently ended up in a shouting match with a bus driver who'd beeped at me. My reason for 'confronting' him was merely that I had no idea as to why the agression. Of course I regretted doing so as I turned what would have been a pleasant ride with a minor incident into a major issue which I'm still bitter about now!

[reohn2]

Usual advice is to dismiss them and ride on. I generally find that 'fighting' back only makes the situation worse. I know I certainly come away feeling much worse and spend the next hours / days replaying it all in my head as to what I could or should have said.

+1
I'm definitely a bite back person but I find if I remain calm and they continue to rant there's no point engaging in any dialogue,as you've just met someone who simply can't be wrong,however wrong they are.
Ride away,if they continue to hassle you,report to the police.

[NATURAL ANKLING]

Hi,
Best advise above but.............................I found if you stand up to them and they get worse then they expose themselves as being what they are, abusive for no reason, than you are just on the road not even moving or Inconveniencing anyone

In their minds their verbal rant means that they give themselves a "stroke" (see below link) you can destroy this by standing up to them........but you have to win or it becomes negative......assertive might lead to aggressive.................take your choice.

If you lose or say nothing then it plays on your mind in a depressing way......................I.M.O.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transacti ... nd_strokes
"'Strokes' are the recognition, attention or responsiveness that one person gives another. Strokes can be positive (nicknamed "warm fuzzies"[29]) or negative ("cold pricklies"). A key idea is that people hunger for recognition, and that lacking positive strokes, will seek whatever kind of recognition they can get, even if it is recognition of a negative kind. We test out as children what strategies and behaviours seem to get us strokes, of whatever kind we can get."

[Mark1978]

In their minds their verbal rant means that they give themselves a "stroke" (see below link) you can destroy this by standing up to them........but you have to win or it becomes negative......assertive might lead to aggressive.................take your choice.

If you lose or say nothing then it plays on your mind in a depressing way......................I.M.O.

That's always the issue with me, if I choose to engage I always 'lose', no matter it seems what is said I always come away thinking I've lost. Given the choice of disengagement or inevitable loss it isn't a choice at all

[TrekMad]

I actually had this out with two 'ladies who lunch' in our local park, which has a national cycle route running through it. Basically they went ballistic because I shouted excuse me, rather than ting a bell! This started a ten minute rant about ' where's your bell?'

Realistically they started a bad argument which was impossible to ' win'. After they realized this, it all went very personal and I saw how ridiculous they were and just cycled away. I mostly kept my cool but when they realised it was a nothing argument they resorted to abuse. I suppose I should have gotten the police involved, but it just seemed funny after a while, and I'm still having a chuckle at their ludicrously concocted spat over nothing at all!

[Mark1978]

I actually had this out with two 'ladies who lunch' in our local park, which has a national cycle route running through it. Basically they went ballistic because I shouted excuse me, rather than ting a bell! This started a ten minute rant about ' where's your bell?'

Realistically they started a bad argument which was impossible to ' win'. After they realized this, it all went very personal and I saw how ridiculous they were and just cycled away. I mostly kept my cool but when they realised it was a nothing argument they resorted to abuse. I suppose I should have gotten the police involved, but it just seemed funny after a while, and I'm still having a chuckle at their ludicrously concocted spat over nothing at all!

I've seen that happen before, not to me, but to someone in front of me encountering a group of walkers he said "excuse me" I think, and they went on a rant about how he should be ringing a bell instead. The underlying point was of course that they didn't want him there in the first place, the bell was an excuse for a rant.

Personally I've found "Good Morning!", or "Hello!" to work the best, merely because it's a greeting, not an instruction.

[TrekMad]

' A group of walkers'... Indeed!

I've had a pop bottle thrown at me in the same park, it's well known as a shared cycle route. I guess there are 'bunches of walkers' out there who don't like sharing.

I ambitiously got my phone out and showed the two ladies who lunch that a bell on a bicycle is not a legal requirement. Thus, proved in the wrong they felt stoopid. This however, did not impede their ranting ability!

[AndyBSG]

I'm pretty much like the OP in that I find it very hard not to go off on one at idiots.

However, i've been commuting in Central London for a couple of years now and after the first six months when I would happily get in an argument I realised it simply isn't worth it and was doing my blood pressure no good.

Breaking point for me was when I was badly cut up by a taxi driver who deliberately overtook me with a close pass then left hooked me at a turning less than 20 foot after the overtake, crossing a solid line cycle lane to do so.

Got into a very heated discussion with him which involved all the usual 'You don't pay road tax', etc arguments and I even played back the footage of how close he had come to hitting me on my phone(Sony Action Cam wifi playback is wonderful for 'on the spot' video), showed him the highway code section on giving cyclists at least as much space as a car when overtaking, etc.

It was after this that I realised that no amount of evidence showing he had clearly been in the wrong and just how close he came to hitting me(which would have probably been fateful giving the following traffic) was going to make the blind bit of difference.

Nowadays I simply shake my head, laugh at their road rage(which actually seems to annoy them more!), cycle off and just send the videos to the relevant bus company/taxi company/authorities with a note explaining how dangerous and potentially fatal their driving and attitude is.

I doubt 99% of them have any action taken at all but I have had one taxi firm E-mail me back saying they will be sitting down with the driver in question and telling him his driving was unacceptable.

[Mark1978]

Taxi drivers are the worst drivers on the road - by a country mile. But it's pointless arguing, even if he'd gone through a red light straight into you, it would still be your fault.

[Shoogle]

You can always kid on you know them – “Hello Jimmy, haven’t seen you for ages, how you doing?” This usually confuses them enough to allow you to get off your mark.

[Audax67]

Chum of mine said (in French, natch) "You're perfectly right, sir. I should be in jail." Bloke shut up long enough for the lights to change and goodbye for ever.

[Spinners]

I actually had this out with two 'ladies who lunch' in our local park, which has a national cycle route running through it. Basically they went ballistic because I shouted excuse me, rather than ting a bell! This started a ten minute rant about ' where's your bell?'

Yes! I've had that one!