Anti-insect mouth protection?

[Thornyone]

Yesterday I had a somewhat alarming experience. I was happily cycling along when I was whacked in the mouth by what I think was a bumblebee, and stung just inside my bottom lip. I presume that it only managed to sting a bit because I expelled it so quickly. (A bumblebee can sting multiple times because it does not leave its sting in the victim, unlike a honey bee. Last year a bumblebee got inside my T-shirt when I was gardening and went on a panicked 4 sting rampage). My lip was very painful but luckily only swelled a little. I don’t like to think what might have happened had it stung my tongue or throat. I fairly often get hit on the cheek by bumblebees when cycling, without getting stung, but this was a “first”. I always try to keep my mouth as closed as possible but do need to mouth-breathe when exerting quite a bit. I also worry about swallowing and choking on flies. Any suggestions for a remedy which won’t look too outlandish?

[crazydave789]

I've seen cyclists in scotland wearing midge head nets and some with light weight hepa masks on for pollen but no you can't escape looking odd.

something like a respro bandit or bandanna maybe.

I got stung right above the heart a few years back, an interesting experience to say the least.

[pwa]

Unless you react badly to stings, just put up with it. Seriously. Any "cure" will be more of a pain than the stings. I hit a wasps nest while strimming a few years ago and got four or five stings before I realised what was happening. It hurt a bit, but not that much. A lot less than stubbing a toe on something. And it soon wore off.

Perhaps don't open your mouth too wide. Keep your teeth in the way of objects trying to get in.

[Thornyone]

I've seen cyclists in scotland wearing midge head nets and some with light weight hepa masks on for pollen but no you can't escape looking odd.

something like a respro bandit or bandanna maybe.

I got stung right above the heart a few years back, an interesting experience to say the least.

That sounds nasty. Re midge nets, I was in the Highlands in May, but didn’t bother to buy a net because the midges were still asleep then. A bandanna sounds reasonable although I wonder whether I might run the risk of being tasered in an urban setting

[foxyrider]

Bees? Well I regularly get an infusion of flying insects but i've never had anything that size in the oral cavity. I have managed to swallow more than a few flies over the years and was attacked by a wasp for no reason I could determine a few years back. Generally the bigger insects have enough speed and nous to avoid such impacts unless they intend to.

Had a rising of greenfly the other week, I was breathing the damn things through my nose, most unpleasant - I emerged literally coated in the things.

[PDQ Mobile]

Not a defence (I use a thin buff) but perhaps a help.
Many moons ago a friend of mine was motorcycling and got stung by wasp or bee in the back of the mouth.
He was very scared and stopped at the first little cottage and knocked.
An old lady came out, he explained what had happened and she dissapeared inside, returning with an onion.
"Eat this like an apple", she said; he did and survived to tell the tale!

[crazydave789]

I've seen cyclists in scotland wearing midge head nets and some with light weight hepa masks on for pollen but no you can't escape looking odd.

something like a respro bandit or bandanna maybe.

I got stung right above the heart a few years back, an interesting experience to say the least.

That sounds nasty. Re midge nets, I was in the Highlands in May, but didn’t bother to buy a net because the midges were still asleep then. A bandanna sounds reasonable although I wonder whether I might run the risk of being tasered in an urban setting

well there's always the balaclava route, or... tell everyone you are changing faith and sex so you can wear a hijab.

is there such a thing as a cycle burka?

a buff is probably your best bet due to its versatility. 3 quid or so.

[crazydave789]

oooh ooh if you know anyone in the food industry get some beard covers off them,

or grow a dick strawbridge tasche

[Thornyone]

well there's always the balaclava route, or... tell everyone you are changing faith and sex so you can wear a hijab.

is there such a thing as a cycle burka?

a buff is probably your best bet due to its versatility. 3 quid or so.

Where I live more than a few women (presumably) wear the niqab, but I can’t say that I’ve noticed one riding a bike. (Plenty driving Mercs, on the other hand). So I’ll investigate the buff

[Thornyone]

Not a defence (I use a thin buff) but perhaps a help.
Many moons ago a friend of mine was motorcycling and got stung by wasp or bee in the back of the mouth.
He was very scared and stopped at the first little cottage and knocked.
An old lady came out, he explained what had happened and she dissapeared inside, returning with an onion.
"Eat this like an apple", she said; he did and survived to tell the tale!

So, an onion (and a packet of Rennies) in my bumbag, plus a notice on my back: “Keep clear. NO NAKED LIGHTS”.

[PDQ Mobile]

Not a defence (I use a thin buff) but perhaps a help.
Many moons ago a friend of mine was motorcycling and got stung by wasp or bee in the back of the mouth.
He was very scared and stopped at the first little cottage and knocked.
An old lady came out, he explained what had happened and she dissapeared inside, returning with an onion.
"Eat this like an apple", she said; he did and survived to tell the tale!

So, an onion (and a packet of Rennies) in my bumbag, plus a notice on my back: “Keep clear. NO NAKED LIGHTS”.

Take your pick; a slow agonizing demise or a touch of wind.
And on reflection also carry that naked light and get to hospital super fast!! Like a rocket in fact!

[Thornyone]

Take your pick; a slow agonizing demise or a touch of wind.
And on reflection also carry that naked light and get to hospital super fast!! Like a rocket in fact!

Excellent last point, never thought of that aspect. OTOH if I ate a whole onion it wouldn’t be a case of a “touch of wind”, but wholesale crop flattening

[Peter W]

Wasn't there a Music Hall entertainer during Victorian Times, who was famous (among the unspeakable lower classes, naturally) for the varied musical effects he could produce in almost continual and infinite variety - on a good night? One can't help wondering what facial, and bodily, contortions he was obliged to employ?

Perhaps he was a 'Penny Farthing' cyclist during which time he perfected his art, but it didn't end well I read. He was outed as a cheat for inserting a whistling device up his whatnot, for amplification. The mind boggles!!

[geocycle]

Wasn't there a Music Hall entertainer during Victorian Times, who was famous (among the unspeakable lower classes, naturally) for the varied musical effects he could produce in almost continual and infinite variety - on a good night? One can't help wondering what facial, and bodily, contortions he was obliged to employ?

Perhaps he was a 'Penny Farthing' cyclist during which time he perfected his art, but it didn't end well I read. He was outed as a cheat for inserting a whistling device up his whatnot, for amplification. The mind boggles!!

There were two, French bien sur, Les freres Petomane.

[Cyril Haearn]

Monsieur Mangetout was the non-plus-ultra
He ate several bicycles