Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

General cycling advice ( NOT technical ! )
LollyKat
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby LollyKat » 13 Sep 2018, 11:07am

When it so cold that normal winter socks don't help, I find it more effective to wear spats or overshoes to keep my lower legs warm. If the blood flowing into my feet is already cold then even thicker socks don't do much good.

Tangled Metal
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Tangled Metal » 13 Sep 2018, 11:34am

It's usually only the toes that have a cold problem. Symptomatic of body conserving heat so perhaps just layer up my legs. Upper body sweating but lower legs not.

However using overshoes doesn't seem to make much difference ime. Except wet rides.

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Lance Dopestrong
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Lance Dopestrong » 13 Sep 2018, 11:37am

My kids have it drilled into them - anyone comes near them in public, they point at the person and shout as load as they can "STRANGER DANGER!!!" over and over again. I will then make the decision about what is an appropriate approach to my children and what is not.
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Cyril Haearn » 13 Sep 2018, 11:46am

Lance Dopestrong wrote:My kids have it drilled into them - anyone comes near them in public, they point at the person and shout as load as they can "STRANGER DANGER!!!" over and over again. I will then make the decision about what is an appropriate approach to my children and what is not.

Really, on a train, in a food store or cafe? Do your kids approach strangers, or have you trained them not to?

As a boring harmless grownup I am occasionally approached by children, should I turn them away?
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby bovlomov » 13 Sep 2018, 11:53am

Lance Dopestrong wrote:My kids have it drilled into them - anyone comes near them in public, they point at the person and shout as load as they can "STRANGER DANGER!!!" over and over again. I will then make the decision about what is an appropriate approach to my children and what is not.

I take the opposite approach. As children are at most risk from people they know, I tell mine to run away as far and fast as they can from anyone they recognise, and to seek help from strangers. Unfortunately the children take no heed of their perilous situation and insist on hanging around at home.

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Paulatic
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Paulatic » 13 Sep 2018, 12:05pm

Lance Dopestrong wrote:My kids have it drilled into them - anyone comes near them in public, they point at the person and shout as load as they can "STRANGER DANGER!!!" over and over again. I will then make the decision about what is an appropriate approach to my children and what is not.

If this is true I find it so sad. I can’t begin to understand the paranoia some people live with.
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby bovlomov » 13 Sep 2018, 12:06pm

I took Lance's post as a joke - and a funny one at that. Apologies if it was meant to be taken at face value.

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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Cyril Haearn » 13 Sep 2018, 12:17pm

bovlomov wrote:I took Lance's post as a joke - and a funny one at that. Apologies if it was meant to be taken at face value.

Humour is a serious matter, jokes should be marked with :? :wink: :( :) &c as appropriate
Some might think it is serious, some might think it is a joke, I do not know*

Hope Lance will be along soon to clarify :wink:

* interesting that the post is interpreted in different ways, can there only be one right interpretation?
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Lance Dopestrong
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Lance Dopestrong » 13 Sep 2018, 12:32pm

It wasn't a joke, but I'm not offended if people think it's grin-worthy.

I had a lengthy career in the police, so my view of child abduction and worse is probably skewed quite badly. Nevertheless, I'd rather be paranoid than grieving, so I decide what is safe and appropriate for my 7 year old. I don't let strangers (real ones or the internet variety) decide on my behalf.

If people disagree, that's fine by me.
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby bovlomov » 13 Sep 2018, 12:40pm

Lance Dopestrong wrote:It wasn't a joke, but I'm not offended if people think it's grin-worthy.

Sorry. It's easy to misunderstand on the internet. I'd argue for compulsory joke emojis, but for the fact that I never use them myself.

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Lance Dopestrong
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Lance Dopestrong » 13 Sep 2018, 12:41pm

It's all cool with me matey ;) So long as they're polite about it I reckon people can think what they like.
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Cyril Haearn » 13 Sep 2018, 12:42pm

Lance Dopestrong wrote:It wasn't a joke, but I'm not offended if people think it's grin-worthy.

I had a lengthy career in the police, so my view of child abduction and worse is probably skewed quite badly. Nevertheless, I'd rather be paranoid than grieving, so I decide what is safe and appropriate for my 7 year old. I don't let strangers (real ones or the internet variety) decide on my behalf.

If people disagree, that's fine by me.

Both are true :wink:
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..
Except about traffic law enforcement of course :wink:
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bovlomov
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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby bovlomov » 13 Sep 2018, 12:42pm

Lance Dopestrong wrote:It's all cool with me matey ;) So long as they're polite about it I reckon people can think what they like.

These days that's not a common attitude.

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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Zigster » 13 Sep 2018, 1:39pm

Cugel wrote:
Zigster wrote:I'd be furious if a stranger started lecturing my son on something which was none of his business.

........


A child is not a possession over which parents have the sole ownership rights ... although many do treat their children in this way, employing them as ideology or religion repositories in the worst cases. Some treat them as dollies, through which they attempt to act out the modes they themselves cannot achieve.

Others get bored with them, as they would a hoola hoop; and so they end up in a virtual attic or cupboard under the stairs.

Is the former preferable to the latter? I feel neither is any good and that children, like other humans, should be treated as people.

Cugel


I don't disagree with you, although I'd question what that has to do with my post. While my son is a child he is under my care and I would ensure he knew I was there to support and defend him against someone who was making him mentally or physically uncomfortable for no good reason.

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Re: Interfering stranger lecturing my son about bike clothing

Postby Vorpal » 13 Sep 2018, 2:08pm

'Stranger danger' is a sad export from the USA.

I have never taught my children 'stranger danger'. Instead, I've taught them to risk assess situations for themselves, how to recognise behaviour that they should question, and how to set clear boundaries with others, and what to do when things go wrong.

If I'm not certain about a situation, or I don't believe they are yet capable of judging for themselves, I either stay with them, or don't allow them to place themselves at risk.

As others have said, danger is much more likely to come from people they know, than people they don't know.

Stranger danger doesn't teach them anything, except that they don't know how to tell who to trust, and I'm not sure that's the best lesson to teach them. Should they trust some strangers? Teachers? Police officers? Fire fighters? Nurses? Doctors? What about a new neighbor in an emergency? Should they always trust people known to them? What if something feels uncomfortable, or they are being bullied?

How can they ever make new friends, if they must always stay away from people they don't know?

The same approach works for other things in life, as well. I'd rather that my children learned how to assess things, and trust their own judgement than to always be wary of people they don't know.

p.s. kids seem to have a pretty good sense of these things, without giving them instructions they can't follow
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