Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

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Flinders
Posts: 2872
Joined: 10 Mar 2009, 6:47pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Flinders » 10 Aug 2018, 6:51pm

Audax67 wrote:Not a joke, but a true story:

Emilien Amaury, the press baron, sometime Minister for Colonies, Pétainiste chief of propaganda, founder of l'Equipe newspaper and original owner of the Tour de France, died in 1977 after being thrown by his horse. One of his favourite sayings was "News need not be exact but it must be shocking".

Charlie Hébdo's headline: "A swine is dead".

Libération's: "The horse is OK".


I wish we could do likes too, for this one. :lol:

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Spinners
Posts: 960
Joined: 6 Dec 2008, 6:58pm
Location: Port Talbot

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Spinners » 10 Aug 2018, 7:13pm

The British Weak Bladder Society has just launched a telephone helpline.

Calls cost one pee per minute.

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Pastychomper
Posts: 106
Joined: 14 Nov 2017, 11:14am
Location: Caithness

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Pastychomper » 14 Aug 2018, 4:00pm

I found a piece of amber in a stream. There was an ancient parasite preserved inside.

It was the oldest tick in the brook.
Everyone's ghast should get a good flabbering now and then.
--Ole Boot

landsurfer
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Joined: 27 Oct 2012, 9:13pm
Location: Rotherham

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby landsurfer » 14 Aug 2018, 7:41pm

Army guy, Navy guy and a RAF guy are having a briefing before they deploy to Afghanistan;

"Army, what is your mission when you deploy from the helio?" Secure the area, post guards and sentries and erect tents. Sir !

"Navy, if you have to deploy your Marines what is your mission?" View INTEL, insert the Marine team into the area, provide support while they get the area secured and put their tents up. Captain.

"RAF, what is your first priority ?" ...... Well i'm wondering what the hell the tent is doing in my hotel room !!!!!
The best wave of my life is still out there.

brynpoeth
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Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby brynpoeth » 16 Aug 2018, 5:05pm

Where does a policeperson live?
999 Letsby Avenue

What does she have for tea?
Truncheon meat
Alternative facts welcome .. Cycling? Of course, but it is far better on a Gillott

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Mick F
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Joined: 7 Jan 2007, 11:24am
Location: Tamar Valley, Cornwall

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Mick F » 16 Aug 2018, 5:36pm

Spinners wrote:The British Weak Bladder Society has just launched a telephone helpline.

Calls cost one pee per minute.

Only 1p a minute?
More like 3p a minute! :oops:
Mick F. Cornwall