After a short drive and a walk across a rather large and somewhat full carpark that took almost as long as the drive,we entered and as we wandered along the aisles following the arrows on the floor,that switched first left then right then left again.I noticed the other people had a sort of resigned and expressionless look to their faces,even the children seemed quiet and withdrawn with their arms hanging limp by their sides,after a while I also noticed there was no natural light in this place and I saw a pair of double doors with a pushbar opener which said 'fire exit' on them in red letters.
I thought I could hear traffic sounds and peered through a chink in the join between the doors to view traffic whizzing past,hmm M62 or is it some other M number I pondered and became more unsure the more I thought about it.
I turned away back to where we were and focused determinedly on baskets.
Sometime later following the arrows with other expressionless consumers I suddenly noticed that if I were to pass directly over one of the arrows on the floor it disapeared,strange I thought and it took me a minute or two to realise they were projected from vignetted spot light above my head.
Rather disturbingly at this moment a song came to mind
Round
Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon.......
Though nothing seemed to be.
I found myself looking at dining tables and sideboards,then suddenly found myself saying "that's real veneer",I then questioned this statement to myself
We came to bedrooms and I began idly opening and closing doors and drawers,gently,to feel their action,it became apparent others watched as did this and then did the same as I moved on to the next display.
Quite by chance I opened a wardrobe door and exclaimed to Mrs R2,who seemed to be standing a few feet away with a far off look in her eyes,in a voice which I feared was a few decibels too high for this cathedral of consumerism,"l've found them",I said,which rather surprised me as much as it did her,people looked around in surprise and short lived delight,before resuming their wanderings and touching the goods on display.
The items we were looking for had labels that instructed where to go to collect them,I rather cynically thought,though kept it to myself,that it would our luck if they were out of stock,a pang of anxiety shot through me,for if they were out of stock we would have come again!
We resumed the directing arrows in anticipation,though unable to resist looking,touching and feeling the goods on display.
On the way I felt at a plant,but it was plastic,there was a whole area given over to crockery and glassware,I picked up a pint glass,plastic,litter bin,plastic again,I felt a another pang this time of dispair.....
Finally we found the warehouse area,looked for the correct aisle and shelf number and was delighted to find our goods in stock,202.463.60 aisle 31 loc 1 and 102.573.45 aisle 30 loc 16 both Komplement.
We took our goods to the checkout where I paid with plastic,and the nice lady who served us asked "glad to be out?." I rather too enthusiatically replied "yes" though resisted hugging her as I didn't think it was appropriate in the circumstances,even though I could actually see daylight over her left shoulder through the swing doors,and beyond it the car park.
On the drive home a thought cross my mind:- IKEA,IKEA sort of gives me diarrhoea.....
