What NOT to give a cyclist for Xmas

[Canuk]

A full lycra skinsuit. I saw a chap in one yesterday, he looked like a sack of Brussel sprouts gone wrong.

[Tangled Metal]

How about one of those multi tools sold on the seasonal promotional stand of supermarkets. The ones shaped like a bike but apparently have all the tools you'll need on your bike. Along with a set of cheap puncture repair kit but it's got a picture of a bike on it so gotta be great right?

[Cugel]

A full lycra skinsuit. I saw a chap in one yesterday, he looked like a sack of Brussel sprouts gone wrong.

A skinsuit with Christmas emblems plastered all over it, in the tradition of the Christmas jumper! These may not be a good present from the point of view of the recipient but, if that recipient can be persuaded to wear them, they are very good presents from the point of view of we observers. A bit like blokes with 70mm deep aero wheels and 5 gizmo on the handlebar.

On the other hand, Christmas is a time of niceness and friendly halloos, so a guffawing point & mock seems inappropriate. Also, the landfill will bulge even more.

Cugel, now waiting for twelfth night when Consumer-mass will hopefully be over.

[Mick F]

Cugel, now waiting for twelfth night when Consumer-mass will hopefully be over.

+1

[Tangled Metal]

The January sales! Don't they have them anymore? Consumerism is an all year thing.

[Cugel]

The January sales! Don't they have them anymore? Consumerism is an all year thing.

True. But, like the chickenpox virus that lurks at the back o' yer neck, conditions sometimes encourage a virulent excursion. With the pox virus there's a sore and ugly lip-sore. With the consumerism virus, there's a regular surge of extra [p0llution] into the environment and another half dozen species go extinct because Amazon had a sale and they needed more forest, not to mention the splurge of extra plastic-wrapping dump into the sea.

Cugel

[ambodach]

Last year I was given an Endura cycling shirt advertising a distillery size XXXL. I can get it on but frightened to breath in in case it splits. Normally I go for 44” chest size which is XL or even L in some cases. Never dared wear it but as a gift cannot really get rid of it and doubt if I could change it for anything bigger from the same firm. Certainly cost far too much money as well.

[Cyril Haearn]

A full lycra skinsuit. I saw a chap in one yesterday, he looked like a sack of Brussel sprouts gone wrong.

I want a bag of Brussels Sprouts gone right for Christmas

[iandriver]

Who was it who said "there will never be equality between the sexes until a woman can walk down the road with a beer gut and a bald head and still think she's dead sexy"?

There will always be lifes Peter Stringfellows....

[Cugel]

Who was it who said "there will never be equality between the sexes until a woman can walk down the road with a beer gut and a bald head and still think she's dead sexy"?

There will always be lifes Peter Stringfellows....

Have you not been to The Bigg Market and other similar festivals of human degradation of a Saturday neet? There are many lasses of the aspect you describe, although it's often their eyebrows rather than their heeds that are baldy. That Viz comic portrayed their essence in the characters known as The Fat Slags. A cruel nomenclature but unfortunately accurate, as were their comical antics portrayed in that Beano for adults.

They can certainly strut their stuff; and do so quite vigorously. Yes indeed!

Cugel

[Cyril Haearn]

Cugel, now waiting for twelfth night when Consumer-mass will hopefully be over.

+1

Cugel gets a copy of 'A Child's Christmas in Wales' by Dylan Thomas