When I'm dead .........

[Mick F]

I have no intention (or expectation) of dying.
Let's get this bit out of the way first!

Years ago, I imagined a big funeral and a carriage pulled by four plumed horses with me lying in state inside. I imagined a Victorian sort of affair with mourners in abundance and a big wake afterwards. I've since had a change of heart.

A friend of ours has bought a plot at the local parish church and wants a big funeral and be laid to rest in his chosen position. I've told him that after he's gone, I'll sell the plot, drink the profits, and chuck his body in the river.

When I'm dead, do not spend a penny on getting rid of what's left of me. I'll be dead and I couldn't care a jot what you do with my body. Do not spend a penny. Incinerate me in a garden incinerator and chuck the ash out with the regular rubbish collection.

If you do want to spend something, chuck behind the bar and drink my health/death.

[mercalia]

I have no intention (or expectation) of dying.
Let's get this bit out of the way first!

Years ago, I imagined a big funeral and a carriage pulled by four plumed horses with me lying in state inside. I imagined a Victorian sort of affair with mourners in abundance and a big wake afterwards. I've since had a change of heart.

A friend of ours has bought a plot at the local parish church and wants a big funeral and be laid to rest in his chosen position. I've told him that after he's gone, I'll sell the plot, drink the profits, and chuck his body in the river.

When I'm dead, do not spend a penny on getting rid of what's left of me. I'll be dead and I couldn't care a jot what you do with my body. Do not spend a penny. Incinerate me in a garden incinerator and chuck the ash out with the regular rubbish collection.

If you do want to spend something, chuck behind the bar and drink my health/death.

I agree. Lining the funeral directors pocket ( it seems there was a recent report how they exploit the event to extract as much cash as possible ) is not some thing I would want to do. Though in your friends case he could hire a whole lot of actors as mourners ( 100's of them ) to make it all a bit of a spectacle for the news papers. "how long did you know the deceased? hmm I am just a rent-a-mourner, hmm I am just here for the beer"

[NATURAL ANKLING]

Hi,
Yeh but no but.........have you made a will.
Maybe when I die they will do an economy disposal a pick the body up with a refuse lorry and stuff you in landfill.
Not sure the actual cost of burning a body to ashes only, no point in packaging that shove it in the road works.

[pwa]

It is possible to do a crem job with no service and no mourners. Someone can collect the ashes later and any personal aspect can be attended to at the scattering, preferably not on a windy day.

[mercalia]

Hi,
Yeh but no but.........have you made a will.
Maybe when I die they will do an economy disposal a pick the body up with a refuse lorry and stuff you in landfill.
Not sure the actual cost of burning a body to ashes only, no point in packaging that shove it in the road works.

this what you have in mind?

[youtube]grbSQ6O6kbs[/youtube]

[Mick F]

Yes, made a will.

I am married with two daughters and one grandson. Unlikely to have any more offspring.
Which ever one of the two of us dies first gets it, and when we've both gone, the two daughters get it. If all four of us cop it, the grandson gets it. If all five of us cops it all at once, I don't care who gets it.

You can't take it with you.

[Cyril Haearn]

There are good reasons why funerals and like ceremonies are held, one likes to remember how wonderful the deceased person was, I think it could be quite a happy occasion if the dead person had had a good innings (alternative facts welcome)

Organizing funerals might be lucrative but a hard job too

Been thinking about retirement planning, financially, the problem is, I do not know the date of my death, I would like to know it, could be in a few weeks or several decades €€$¥?

[Mick F]

Retirement planning is a completely different subject.

You can't take it with you, but you could live a long time .................... like I intend to do.

[Canuk]

My old uncle wanted to be left on the top of a local mountain till the birds picked the carcass clean. Unfortunately the powers that be at the local council said 'no chance'…!

[landsurfer]

I'm to be cremated and my ashes put into the sea at Gwithian beach in Cornwall. By my grandson, from one of our kayaks. He did suggest a trebuchet but Jules clamped down that one. Jules would like me there so she could go swimming with me .... and vice versa if she goes first. Her sister Jennifer went in the sea there last year and we all say hello to her as we swim in the bay.

[Cyril Haearn]

Might be worth seeing the film 'Four Weddings and a Funeral', I saw it but cannae remember

[rjb]

It is possible to do a crem job with no service and no mourners. Someone can collect the ashes later and any personal aspect can be attended to at the scattering, preferably not on a windy day.

This is how my dad went. No service and just the close family attended the crem. All over in 5 minutes followed by the wake.
My great grandad who died in 1927 probably had a grand affair judging by the hearse.

[ferrit worrier]

It is possible to do a crem job with no service and no mourners. Someone can collect the ashes later and any personal aspect can be attended to at the scattering, preferably not on a windy day.

yes see simplicity cremations https://www.simplicity.co.uk/

[NATURAL ANKLING]

Hi,

Yes, made a will.

I am married with two daughters and one grandson. Unlikely to have any more offspring.
Which ever one of the two of us dies first gets it, and when we've both gone, the two daughters get it. If all four of us cop it, the grandson gets it. If all five of us cops it all at once, I don't care who gets it.

You can't take it with you.

Wishes of disposal of your remains?

[merseymouth]

Hi Mick, Do you think the "Soylent Green" route is available? Pick you own favourite music.
Got my music sorted - Gracie Fields singing "He's Dead But He Won't Lie Down". TTFN MM