Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

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Vorpal
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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby Vorpal » 7 Feb 2019, 9:49am

Oldjohnw wrote:
sure our resident Welshman is wondering why those jokes always miss out one of his countrymen. Seriously you don't get many Welsh in those nation jokes.


Yes, but a 'Wales' is still the most recognised international form of measurement of areas of land, as in 'twice/half the size of Wales'.

One place I used to work, I was on a very diverse team, but when I sat at a lunch table with another team one day, I was subjected to ignorant talk and jokes about Irish and Welsh people. I said something like, 'I guess now is not the time to say that my great-grandparents were Welsh?' They laughed, and I left, but I wasn't subjected to that kind of crap from them again. I expect they just carried on in their own little group when there wasn't anyone around to object, though.
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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby brynpoeth » 7 Feb 2019, 4:54pm

There are lots of Welsh and half-Welsh people on these fora
I am only half Welsh :wink:
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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby brynpoeth » 11 Feb 2019, 5:36am

May I suggest Wales/Whales as convenient units?
Area could be expressed in multiples of Wales, weight and length in Whales
Whales vary a lot in length and weight, so my system is flexible

Whales am byth!
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Cunobelin
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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby Cunobelin » 11 Feb 2019, 6:32am

Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman,..... and a Welshman walk into a bar


Barman says...... "Is this a joke?"

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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby landsurfer » 11 Feb 2019, 6:49am

Cunobelin wrote:Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman,..... and a Welshman walk into a bar


Barman says...... "Is this a joke?"


Olden but Golden ... :lol:

When young we frequently told the Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman jokes ... As Ulstermen we had always used the term "Paddy" for those across the backstop, sorry border ... as they used the term "Orange B*st*d*s" ... :lol:
Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.

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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby Tangled Metal » 11 Feb 2019, 9:00am

brynpoeth wrote:There are lots of Welsh and half-Welsh people on these fora
I am only half Welsh :wink:

Incomer? Second homer who retired? :wink:

My gran was born to Welsh parents escaping to find work. They found Liverpool and their migration stopped. The welsh ancestors were from the Welsh valleys which you could argue is a step up in welshness!

I'm English mongrel though or Welsh mongrel either way I doubt even those from the deepest, darkest of the Welsh valleys are pure Welsh these days. Not like parts of Ireland where there are still ethnically pure areas.

There was a TV thing where they tested the cast of coronation Street fit genetic markers. One was +98% pure genetic markers from Western Ireland. In fact he didn't know it for sure but he had pure markers for a island off the Irish coast. Such that he was pretty much related to all the last families to leave the island. A very rare thing to find.

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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby Audax67 » 11 Feb 2019, 10:46am

brynpoeth wrote:May I suggest Wales/Whales as convenient units?
Area could be expressed in multiples of Wales, weight and length in Whales
Whales vary a lot in length and weight, so my system is flexible

Whales am byth!


Would that be blue Whales or Humpback Whales? Or even, saving your presence, Sperm Whales?*

* from the Triorchid Male Voice Choir, of course.
Have we got time for another cuppa?

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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby Pastychomper » 11 Feb 2019, 4:05pm

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman were each left a share in a deceased friend's estate, on the condition that they each left five pounds in his coffin.
On the day of the funeral, the Irishman dutifully poured five hundred pennies (saved over the years in a whisky bottle) into the coffin.
The Scotsman added a crisp Clydesdale fiver.
The Englishman, wanting everything tidy, removed the cash and put in a cheque for fifteen pounds, payable to "the bearer".


One of the bearers, a Welshwoman, was pleasantly surprised to be paid for her efforts and cashed it the next day.



One of the more balanced of those jokes that I've come across. Now please excuse me while I search the jukebox for A Song of Patriotic Prejudice.
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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby landsurfer » 11 Feb 2019, 4:18pm

Pastychomper wrote:An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman were each left a share in a deceased friend's estate, on the condition that they each left five pounds in his coffin.
On the day of the funeral, the Irishman dutifully poured five hundred pennies (saved over the years in a whisky bottle) into the coffin.
The Scotsman added a crisp Clydesdale fiver.
The Englishman, wanting everything tidy, removed the cash and put in a cheque for fifteen pounds, payable to "the bearer".


One of the bearers, a Welshwoman, was pleasantly surprised to be paid for her efforts and cashed it the next day.



One of the more balanced of those jokes that I've come across. Now please excuse me while I search the jukebox for A Song of Patriotic Prejudice.


Yes, but you'll notice ..... It's not funny .... Unlike Cunobelin's effort... :)
Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.

The road goes on forever.

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Cunobelin
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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby Cunobelin » 11 Feb 2019, 6:16pm

landsurfer wrote:
Pastychomper wrote:An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman were each left a share in a deceased friend's estate, on the condition that they each left five pounds in his coffin.
On the day of the funeral, the Irishman dutifully poured five hundred pennies (saved over the years in a whisky bottle) into the coffin.
The Scotsman added a crisp Clydesdale fiver.
The Englishman, wanting everything tidy, removed the cash and put in a cheque for fifteen pounds, payable to "the bearer".


One of the bearers, a Welshwoman, was pleasantly surprised to be paid for her efforts and cashed it the next day.



One of the more balanced of those jokes that I've come across. Now please excuse me while I search the jukebox for A Song of Patriotic Prejudice.


Yes, but you'll notice ..... It's not funny .... Unlike Cunobelin's effort... :)



For a Song of Patriotic Prejudice ... The National Anthem verse 6:

Lord grant that Marshal Wade

May by thy mighty aid

Victory bring.

May he sedition hush,

And like a torrent rush,

Rebellious Scots to crush.

God save the King!

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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby brynpoeth » 11 Feb 2019, 7:37pm

landsurfer wrote:
Pastychomper wrote:An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman were each left a share in a deceased friend's estate, on the condition that they each left five pounds in his coffin.
On the day of the funeral, the Irishman dutifully poured five hundred pennies (saved over the years in a whisky bottle) into the coffin.
The Scotsman added a crisp Clydesdale fiver.
The Englishman, wanting everything tidy, removed the cash and put in a cheque for fifteen pounds, payable to "the bearer".


One of the bearers, a Welshwoman, was pleasantly surprised to be paid for her efforts and cashed it the next day.



One of the more balanced of those jokes that I've come across. Now please excuse me while I search the jukebox for A Song of Patriotic Prejudice.


Yes, but you'll notice ..... It's not funny .... Unlike Cunobelin's effort... :)

Yes it is funny, as a Welshperson by choice I do not find it insulting, not sure if it was meant to be :wink:
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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby landsurfer » 11 Feb 2019, 8:03pm

brynpoeth wrote:Yes it is funny, as a Welshperson by choice I do not find it insulting, not sure if it was meant to be :wink:


Please explain to this immigrant, of Irish lineage, a subjugated minority , .. why it's funny ...?
Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.

The road goes on forever.

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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby brynpoeth » 11 Feb 2019, 8:07pm

landsurfer wrote:
brynpoeth wrote:Yes it is funny, as a Welshperson by choice I do not find it insulting, not sure if it was meant to be :wink:


Please explain to this immigrant, of Irish lineage, a subjugated minority , .. why it's funny ...?

Hard to explain, I am a bit Irish too now I remember, only been there once, Where the Mountains of Mourne sweep down to the sea
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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby landsurfer » 11 Feb 2019, 8:15pm

brynpoeth wrote:
landsurfer wrote:
brynpoeth wrote:Yes it is funny, as a Welshperson by choice I do not find it insulting, not sure if it was meant to be :wink:


Please explain to this immigrant, of Irish lineage, a subjugated minority , .. why it's funny ...?

Hard to explain, I am a bit Irish too now I remember, only been there once, Where the Mountains of Mourne sweep down to the sea


Amazing how many people have discovered their little bit of Irish now Brexit beckons ..
.
Personally i'm an Ulsterman.
I fought for the right to be British.
My Right.

Shame so many of the client countries of Great Britain and Northern Ireland expect the rights and benefits without the responsibilities and duties.
Unlike us in Ulster.

Come on Welsh and Scots fight to be British ... or fight to be independent ... No, bit busy, things to do , washing your hair tonight ... Pathetic ...

Just a personal opinion ... no offence made or implied ...
:twisted:
Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.

The road goes on forever.

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Re: Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman...

Postby Tangled Metal » 11 Feb 2019, 8:49pm

Are republicans in ulster also ulstermen? Sorry for my ignorance but isn't ulster the collective name for 5 counties on the island of Ireland. If you're living and from there are you not one of them or is it purely reserved for unionists? What are republicans called so live in those 5 counties?

One point there's a significant minority in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland who want independence from the union. Anyone got a clue what percentage in each nation / region? Anyone know how many English want out of the union too. I refer to the older union of the United Kingdom not European Union of course.