Ten mental health tips

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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Cyril Haearn » 28 Jan 2020, 10:30am

What religious cult was that? Care to tell us more?

Keeping busy is good, been tidying up again today, just put a few kilos of old clothes in the container, throwing out a lot of paper too

Someone I disliked said something useful to me after reading my job application: :?
'You do not seem to be proud of yourself'
Gliding into retirement now, facing up to my past, discarding some of it
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Oldjohnw
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Oldjohnw » 28 Jan 2020, 10:32am

Cyril Haearn wrote:What religious cult was that? Care to tell us more?

Keeping busy is good, been tidying up again today, just put a few kilos of old clothes in the container, throwing out a lot of paper too

Someone I disliked said something useful to me after reading my job application: :?
'You do not seem to be proud of yourself'
Gliding into retirement now, facing up to my past, discarding some of it


It was an extreme exclusive branch of the Plymouth Brethren.
John

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Cugel
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Cugel » 28 Jan 2020, 12:12pm

Oldjohnw wrote:
Cyril Haearn wrote:I spend too much time brooding about the past, when people were nasty to me years ago for example
How may one train oneself to focus on the future?

'Look to the future now, it's only just begun.. ' (Noddy Holder + Slade)


I have much sympathy here. I was brought up in a religious cult. Leaving in my 20s meant walking away from everything I knew, including family (they cut me off). I never saw my mother again, I saw my father a handful of times in his later years and we were wonderfully reconciled.

I still after almost 50 years occasionally get overwhelmed. Not like I used to, though: I found finding and helping those less fortunate was the greatest help, along with singing and getting out doors. I got through my teens by cycling all day and playing the piano - not at the same time.

You are right: whilst the past can ground you and teach you how not to treat others, we can suffer hugely. We must look forward and try to make the world a better place. Best wishes in your journey.


Past sleights and also our own faux-pas - these provide valuable lessons for living and shouldn't be under-valued. There's too much of this everyone-has-a-right-to-be-happy-all-the-time stuff about!

Of course, it is pleasant to experience happiness. But it can't be experienced, really, without experience of other emotional states to serve as benchmarks and counterpoints. The trick is to avoid the brooding about difficult past events and somehow turn them into merely useful memories that impart a valuable life lesson. No - not an easy transformation to make; but if and when you do, it's also a blessed relief... . For the fact is, we cannot forget the past. Or if we do, out pops a Freudian mental condition in their place, to torture us for reasons we have now forgot-away to the subconscious and so cannot deal with.

It's always tempting to brood on the actions of our tormentors, rather than consider our reactions to those torments and what - even now - we can do to deal with the harms we felt. It's never too late to diffuse these emotion-bombs.

Consider also the harmful actions you perpetrated on others during your callow youth. These too can be excruciating memories - but valuable also in that they can teach us to be far more careful and considerate. I have often apologised to others in my mind and, sometimes, in reality should I come across someone I wronged at school or other period of early life. Genuine repentance is often followed by genuine redemption, even if largely self-awarded.

Cugel

Cyril Haearn
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Cyril Haearn » 28 Jan 2020, 7:08pm

Right again Cugel, I have lots of good memories to call up while falling asleep

'She who is careful to avoid unpleasant surprises avoids pleasant ones too'
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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Cyril Haearn » 23 Feb 2020, 8:40pm

Tyson Fury is an 'unlikely' (?) champion for mental health, boxers have to be really tough but they are just like the rest of us
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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Cyril Haearn » 4 Mar 2020, 4:40pm

Es ist gesund, ab und zu krank zu sein

It is healthy to be ill occasionally
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fullupandslowingdown
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby fullupandslowingdown » 5 Mar 2020, 1:00am

Ajahm Brahm quote

" Doctor there is something right with me, I'm ill! "

We usually say 'doc, there's something wrong with me' but to be ill is to be human.

Cyril Haearn
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Cyril Haearn » 18 Mar 2020, 7:41am

Apparently in times of crisis mental health may improve, there is less self-harm, people have something to focus on and keep them busy instead of staying at home (?) feeling sorry for themselves

I read that mental health improved in Ulster during the troubles
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Oldjohnw
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Oldjohnw » 18 Mar 2020, 8:18am

Cyril Haearn wrote:Apparently in times of crisis mental health may improve, there is less self-harm, people have something to focus on and keep them busy instead of staying at home (?) feeling sorry for themselves

I read that mental health improved in Ulster during the troubles


And staying at home might be compulsory.
John

Thornyone
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Thornyone » 18 Mar 2020, 8:41am

Cyril Haearn wrote:Apparently in times of crisis mental health may improve, there is less self-harm, people have something to focus on and keep them busy instead of staying at home (?) feeling sorry for themselves

I read that mental health improved in Ulster during the troubles


I think it depends very much on the nature of the crisis. My dad served in WW2 and says that if it hadn’t been for the killing, it was a wonderful time in many ways, great camaraderie and a common enemy and “all in it together”.

The present situation seems very different, most fundamentally because people are going to be so isolated from each other. I’m a bit of a loner in many ways, and can happily spend a week in a holiday cottage alone. Lots of people are simply unable to cope without others around them, even for a couple of days. OTOH I’m not coping very well at present because my self-talk, which normally keeps me busy and happy enough, is presently preoccupied with a whirl of horrendous speculation. One thing I don’t cope well with is uncertainty, and so I’m now sleeping poorly.

For a variety of reasons, people of quite different mental make-ups are going to find things extremely difficult. Think of the grandparent who has been the main carer for a grandchild, now told to isolate, and the effect on the child too; students at school and university who will be isolated and worrying their education and futures; millions of people with worries about financial survival and of course all the workers in the NHS, already feeling very drained before any of this kicked off.

I think something needs to put in place urgently. It is common nowadays to have the announcement after a TV or radio program “If you have been affected by any of the issues there is help on xyz”. A couple of days ago I watched what I can honestly say was the most alarming and horrific 10 o’clock news I can ever recall, and no mention whatsoever afterwards of any sources for mental support. The following morning on the news came “and now for an item that is not about coronavirus, but it is not good news”. There followed a report about failings at Great Ormond St, just the boost people need now. By all means broadcast such a report. But not for another 18 months at least, for God’s sake.

Oldjohnw
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Oldjohnw » 18 Mar 2020, 8:46am

I think it depends very much on the nature of the crisis. My dad served in WW2 and says that if it hadn’t been for the killing, it was a wonderful time in many ways, great camaraderie and a common enemy and “all in it together”.


Like Coronavirus: if it wasn't for the killing, would be a wonderful time.

One if the things we don't get wth CV is camaraderie since social isolation is required.
John

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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Bonefishblues » 18 Mar 2020, 11:16am

Oldjohnw wrote:
I think it depends very much on the nature of the crisis. My dad served in WW2 and says that if it hadn’t been for the killing, it was a wonderful time in many ways, great camaraderie and a common enemy and “all in it together”.


Like Coronavirus: if it wasn't for the killing, would be a wonderful time.

One if the things we don't get wth CV is camaraderie since social isolation is required.

...says the poster on social media :wink:

Oldjohnw
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Oldjohnw » 18 Mar 2020, 11:35am

Bonefishblues wrote:
Oldjohnw wrote:
I think it depends very much on the nature of the crisis. My dad served in WW2 and says that if it hadn’t been for the killing, it was a wonderful time in many ways, great camaraderie and a common enemy and “all in it together”.


Like Coronavirus: if it wasn't for the killing, would be a wonderful time.

One if the things we don't get wth CV is camaraderie since social isolation is required.

...says the poster on social media :wink:


Quite :-) But I understand some people like physical companionship: pubs, choirs, church, clubs, cycling.

Social media is a godsend occasionally.
John

Bonefishblues
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Bonefishblues » 18 Mar 2020, 11:45am

Oldjohnw wrote:
Bonefishblues wrote:
Oldjohnw wrote:
Like Coronavirus: if it wasn't for the killing, would be a wonderful time.

One if the things we don't get wth CV is camaraderie since social isolation is required.

...says the poster on social media :wink:


Quite :-) But I understand some people like physical companionship: pubs, choirs, church, clubs, cycling.

Social media is a godsend occasionally.

It's better than nothing, which is the alternative for many, or at least will be in the very near future.

I think lots will change as a result of this - perhaps social media will be put into its correct context (as opposed to being universally demonised), working at home will finally achieve the 'breakthrough' it has been promising for many years.

There will be others, I'm sure. Maybe we should have one of them there threads?

Oldjohnw
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Re: Ten mental health tips

Postby Oldjohnw » 18 Mar 2020, 1:10pm

Bonefishblues wrote:
Oldjohnw wrote:
Bonefishblues wrote:...says the poster on social media :wink:


Quite :-) But I understand some people like physical companionship: pubs, choirs, church, clubs, cycling.

Social media is a godsend occasionally.

It's better than nothing, which is the alternative for many, or at least will be in the very near future.

I think lots will change as a result of this - perhaps social media will be put into its correct context (as opposed to being universally demonised), working at home will finally achieve the 'breakthrough' it has been promising for many years.

There will be others, I'm sure. Maybe we should have one of them there threads?


Hopefully the mania for ever more and longer air travel will not recover.
John