Wedding presents

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Tangled Metal
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Tangled Metal » 16 May 2019, 8:55am

Don't worry, I'm already out of the drift discussion. It's never gong anywhere anyway meeting different opinions. But I will point out that it was never intended as a campaign on my part. I was only responding to replies to my posts with queries about my views. I certainly never meant to overwhelm the thread but I do try to clarify things when I think a poster has misconstrued one of my posts or missed a salient point (as I see it).

Sorry for my part in this thread drift.

On topic I really have only gone to family weddings as a kid (parents got the pressie) and a few friends weddings. In those cases there's only ever wedding lists.

Tbh most of my friends just got vouchers from the company they had their wedding list with. Makes it easy because instead of all the cheaper presents going they could put all these vouchers together for the expensive presents they really needed more.

I guess my friends are all a very down to earth group. The presents or vouchers or money wasn't important to them. There was a genuine feeling of them just being happy their friends turned up to share the day. IIRC one didn't ask for presents from friends but money to go to a charity. The bride was a budhhist so funding environmental and nepalese charities kind of worked for them.

Oldjohnw
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Oldjohnw » 16 May 2019, 9:11am

Tangled Metal wrote:Don't worry, I'm already out of the drift discussion. It's never gong anywhere anyway meeting different opinions. But I will point out that it was never intended as a campaign on my part. I was only responding to replies to my posts with queries about my views. I certainly never meant to overwhelm the thread but I do try to clarify things when I think a poster has misconstrued one of my posts or missed a salient point (as I see it).

Sorry for my part in this thread drift.

On topic I really have only gone to family weddings as a kid (parents got the pressie) and a few friends weddings. In those cases there's only ever wedding lists.

Tbh most of my friends just got vouchers from the company they had their wedding list with. Makes it easy because instead of all the cheaper presents going they could put all these vouchers together for the expensive presents they really needed more.

I guess my friends are all a very down to earth group. The presents or vouchers or money wasn't important to them. There was a genuine feeling of them just being happy their friends turned up to share the day. IIRC one didn't ask for presents from friends but money to go to a charity. The bride was a budhhist so funding environmental and nepalese charities kind of worked for them.


Decent of you - and thanks.
John

Cycling and recycling

brynpoeth
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby brynpoeth » 16 May 2019, 9:43am

Please to start a new thread
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Mick F
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Mick F » 16 May 2019, 9:52am

We've a couple of wedding presents still in daily use. The stainless steel tray we use many times each day was part of a SS tea-set. We still have the sugar basin and the milk jug. Also, a big crystal glass vase and a mixing bowl.

Married in November 1973, so stuff does last ............ as well as marriages. :D
Mick F. Cornwall

Vorpal
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Vorpal » 16 May 2019, 10:06am

When Mr. V and I got married he didn't want gifts, but my family expect to give gifts, and probably would have done so, even if we asked them not to. So, I used a registry, and mostly picked useful things that wouldn't cost too much, like a plain, stainless steel cutlery set (service for 4), tea towels, a bathroom mat, etc.

We still have and use a few items, including a tray.
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Tangled Metal
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Tangled Metal » 16 May 2019, 11:31am

We keep joking about getting married just so we can have a wedding list at wiggle, Evans or Tredz! Also jokes about go outdoors, the climbers shop and cotswolds outdoors. Stuff the house presents, we want presents that make our leisure time more enjoyable. Afterall we work hard enough to keep our house and life going the way we want (or as close to that as we can), we want escapism from marriage presents.

Of course that's only joking, usually after my mum has made another comment trying to nudge us towards marriage by suggesting we'd get some nice dinner set out cutlery or some other house thing.

IMHO there's too.much of the mercenary about marriage. Wedding lists? What's wrong about people who know at least one of the new couple well choosing their own present that means something to them and the couple. If you follow my meaning. It's bwtter for a present to come from the the friendship or family bond than a list in a shop. Although if the couple are really into travel then who knows, contributing to a 10 week overland trip for example might be more heart felt than a cake server. It's about knowing the couple which is why going off list is my preference (unless I can't think of something that is right for them off course).

Oldjohnw
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Oldjohnw » 16 May 2019, 11:33am

Mick F wrote:We've a couple of wedding presents still in daily use. The stainless steel tray we use many times each day was part of a SS tea-set. We still have the sugar basin and the milk jug. Also, a big crystal glass vase and a mixing bowl.

Married in November 1973, so stuff does last ............ as well as marriages. :D


+1
John

Cycling and recycling

Tangled Metal
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Tangled Metal » 16 May 2019, 11:42am

November 1973? I was not quite 1 year old then. Best not do the maths, I'm 31 really! :wink:

Oldjohnw
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Oldjohnw » 16 May 2019, 11:45am

Tangled Metal wrote:November 1973? I was not quite 1 year old then. Best not do the maths, I'm 31 really! :wink:


I was first married in June 1971, widowed in 1986, remarried in 1990. Still married. Also, still use many household items given at first wedding - some daily.
John

Cycling and recycling

merseymouth
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby merseymouth » 16 May 2019, 1:42pm

Hi there, As I always tell SWMBO "You are still on appro" , "It may not last" :shock: . Yes, 44 years this July :| .
I think I must be pleased over registering my issue? After being up all night at the Maternity Hospital, load delivered I simply walked over the road to th main Liverpool Registry Office. Booked the girl into the extant column, without SWMBO being present, busy having a nap.
So would she have a problem being classed as a legally recognized parent?
Thee Civil Marriage and variants would receive a boost if Child Benefit wasn't claimable without the necessary paperwork :shock: !
Civil Registration should be looked on as the cement to hold families together, certainly make family history more achievable. I have yet to find a record of a grandparents marriage, which must have taken place as the granny got a pension from GWR, at a time when it was only available to couple who had tied the knot.
My parent got to 65 years wed, gosh knows how cause my pa was a real PITA! IGICB MM

drossall
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby drossall » 16 May 2019, 10:07pm

Tangled Metal wrote:We keep joking about getting married just so we can have a wedding list at wiggle, Evans or Tredz!

I'd never have got away with that. I made a vague* mention of departure by tandem or leaving the church under an arch of wheels, and the combined looks from my intended and both mothers kept me quiet for months...

* And deliberately provocative :twisted:

Postboxer
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Postboxer » 17 May 2019, 10:43am

Wedding lists can be useful if you have a large wedding with lots of guests from two large families who don't know each other, it helps to ensure you don't get 15 toasters and stops everyone asking individually what you would like, you pre-empt their questions by making the list, then you can direct people to the list, hopefully this keeps it all coordinated. The ticking off of the items is the vital part. We only had a small wedding and had already been living together so didn't put much on our wedding list that we made on a website rather than with a specific store. We put a range of small, cheap presents on there and then I think maybe said cash to go towards decorating the house or passes for attractions we could take our son to. For some reason my mum decided it would be good to buy most of the cheap gifts herself, ticking them all off the list, not really leaving anything for anyone else to give us, rather than just getting one of the more expensive items.

I try to keep the same list going now for Christmas and Birthdays, it's helpful with the kids who both love lego, as we can ask for lego, suggest a few sets they are particularly interested in, list all the ones they have, and co-ordinate it between both sets of in-laws as well as listing anything else they might want at varying prices. If people are going to spend money on presents, it makes sense to try to ensure the money is well spent on things they will enjoy as well as trying to reduce the numbers of duplicates.

Maybe if you are against air travel and the happy couple are planning an elaborate honeymoon, you could either get a charity gift which helps some of the locals in their destination, or donate to one of the many schemes to offset some of their carbon footprint.

Oldjohnw
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Oldjohnw » 23 May 2019, 1:17pm

To update:

My beloved niece has posted two consecutive posts on Instagram. One tells us that she is a 'vegan to save the planet'. The other infoms us that 'honeymoon in Maldives now booked'.
John

Cycling and recycling

Tangled Metal
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Tangled Metal » 23 May 2019, 2:56pm

Funny! I bet you'll not comment on it though. Always best not to.

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Mick F
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Re: Wedding presents

Postby Mick F » 23 May 2019, 8:43pm

:lol: :lol:

Saving the planet eh?
Tell you what, I'll give up beer so they don't need to produce all that CO2 for me.
Mick F. Cornwall