NUKe wrote:“Hello this is Microsoft, we have detected a leak in your internet, we are going to turn it off.”
“Hello this BT, “
These two lines always tell me we are going to have fun.
Always play the doddering idiot with the really slow computer.
“We have seen a problem with your internet. “
“Oh that’s terrible what do you need to do “
make a cup of tea pretending to switch on my imaginary computer it’s windows 97 if they ask . Can you start your Browser?
What is that ?
You can usually get them to list of internet browsers. Then tell them yours is Netscape. By this point they are hooked and you can real them in. They’re exited , another 5 minutes can be wasted pretending to type in there website. Or they might ask for details such as IP address can usually make something up.
Keep meaning to build a virtual machine on Linux then I can keep them going even longer.
That's a good plan, well done for staying cool. [ i just want to throttle the scamming git ]
A couple of weeks ago i had one."Ring! Ring" ... "Ring Ring" ...
[ a young man speaks to me in poor English in maybe a Chinese accent]
Hello this BT, we have found a problem with your internet, Have you problem with slow internet?
Hi there, yes it has been so slow, thanks for pointing it out to me
Are you on your computer now?
No i'm on the telephone with a scammer.
Are you with computer, it turned on now?
Yes, it's here with me all ready to go!
Can you go to this website...?
It's okay, thanks for pointing out my slow internet, i'll get on the phone to BT about it.
No we BT, you talk to me about slow internet, or you cut off later today.
I don't want to talk to you about it because you're obviously a nasty scammer
No we BT, you may lose internet get cut off, i here to help you
Have you ever thought of getting an honest job?
You obviously aren't any good at doing telephone scam robbery.
No you listen, we BT, i help you with keep internet, you have problem.
No you listen to me you nasty f---wit scammer, me no talk to you bad boy
You no insult me, you in trouble could lose your internet connection.
Do you want my internet banking details, steal my money like the nasty scamming bar steward you are?
No! You no allow to insult me, you wrong, you not do that
Okay, you can F--- Off now... [ i put the phone down ]