Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

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Cyril Haearn
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Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by Cyril Haearn »

People trying to end their lives by jumping from bridges have been mentioned elsewhere on these fora. Apparently media reporting of suicides is problematic because it may cause others to try to take their lives. Reminds me a bit of sex education at school, trying to talk about something without talking about it.

Many things that used to be taboos are now mentioned often in the media: sexism, racism, abuse etc. But are there things that used to be reported more than they are now?

I think that maybe suicide should be more openly reported too, so that it can be dealt with. There is plenty of talk about other mental health problems already
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pwa
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by pwa »

The problem is that open and free discussion on fora like this could steer someone in a fragile state towards taking their own life at a time when face-to-face support is what they need to get them through a bad patch. In principle I have no objection to someone without mental health issues taking their own life, if they have thought it through and have made the decision on a sound basis. But if I spoke to someone via the internet I would not know whether their unhappiness was partly due to illness that might be treatable. And my meddling might influence someone on the edge. That is very dangerous territory. I'd confine my comments to suggesting that they seek out professional advice and support.
Ben@Forest
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by Ben@Forest »

Cyril Haearn wrote: 10 May 2021, 3:27am People trying to end their lives by jumping from bridges have been mentioned elsewhere on these fora. Apparently media reporting of suicides is problematic because it may cause others to try to take their lives. Reminds me a bit of sex education at school, trying to talk about something without talking about
In Germany l lived not far from a bridge locally called Selbstmordbrücke (suicide bridge). Apparently the local papers did not report suicides from it. I don't think was so much preventing suicide as a desire they didn't do it from that bridge, it was a nasty way to go and caused inconvenience and l expect some cost.
Cyril Haearn
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by Cyril Haearn »

Perhaps it could be added to articles about mental health, rather than being talked about independently
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simonineaston
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by simonineaston »

I'll mention it because it's out there and I found watching it a touching and affecting experience - there is a documentary film that's all about The Golden Gate Bridge in the San Francisco Bay. It's called The Bridge - see the Wikipedia entry here. I've lost a couple of friends to suicide and watching the film was helpful for me, as one of the 'left behind'.
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millimole
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by millimole »

Cyril Haearn wrote:Perhaps it could be added to articles about mental health, rather than being talked about independently
It's a very complex and wide ranging subject, not easily tacked onto a mental health article.
Generally when we think about suicide we mean depressed men (and it usually is men) who decide to end there own lives.
But the subject must also include those with terminal illness and other - complex - mental health issues. For example, I have a family member who, completely out of the blue, started self-harming, and within weeks was attempting suicide, and if you can think of a method, they tried it. (Two years down the line their EUPD is diagnosed, and therapy has their urges generally under control). The genesis of this is not understood, but is more common than the public want to know.
It is not a simple subject.
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Ben@Forest
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by Ben@Forest »

Cyril Haearn wrote: 10 May 2021, 7:00am Perhaps it could be added to articles about mental health, rather than being talked about independently
I think self-harm, suicide attempts and suicide are already far more spoken about than they were. When l was in my early 20s a friend told me they'd attemped suicide a couple of years before, l was shocked and had very little l felt l could say. About four years ago a work colleague's son committed suicide. He and we talked about it far more than l felt able 30 odd years ago, and that wasn't just a product of greater age and maturity.
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Ride-sleep-repeat
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by Ride-sleep-repeat »

I had three friends commit suicide before they were 21. Very sad at the time but it's not until I've gotten much older that I've thought about just how low they must've been and did we miss any tell-tale signs. Mental health is discussed much more now(and even more so due to the last year or so)maybe it's time suicide was more widely confronted?
I myself have had some very low periods over the years but taking my own life has never crossed my mind. To actually get to the stage where you're even thinking about it is almost incomprehensible to me let alone being able to do it.
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661-Pete
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by 661-Pete »

A difficult topic, and difficult to generalise. I think it should be talked about, but in a way that doesn't tempt potential suicides to take that way out.

I still remember from many years back, my student days in fact. I noticed a crowd gathered outside Bradford City Hall, wondered what it was about until someone pointed out a man perched on the parapet, presumably threatening to jump. But what I then saw was a ring of firefighters clutching a big round sheet of canvas, immediately below. I couldn't help but be a bit amused: I thought that sort of measure was the domain of cartoon films... Was it tasteless of me to find it funny?

The man was eventually talked down. A life saved. There was no need of the canvas - would it have sufficiently broken his fall?

As for me - I won't deny that the thought has passed through my grey cells, from time to time...
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
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Bonefishblues
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by Bonefishblues »

Ben@Forest wrote: 10 May 2021, 7:25am
Cyril Haearn wrote: 10 May 2021, 7:00am Perhaps it could be added to articles about mental health, rather than being talked about independently
I think self-harm, suicide attempts and suicide are already far more spoken about than they were. When l was in my early 20s a friend told me they'd attemped suicide a couple of years before, l was shocked and had very little l felt l could say. About four years ago a work colleague's son committed suicide. He and we talked about it far more than l felt able 30 odd years ago, and that wasn't just a product of greater age and maturity.
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ClappedOut
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by ClappedOut »

Let me tell you a story a 40 year old friend of mine (think new years eve, BBQ etc and see them daily) call it friends enough we have a key to the house.

Before we get into the bones let me say that whatever the issue, the unanswered questions and devastation the person leaves behind sends ripples far and wide.

Our friend had a well paid job the life was comfortable and they had 4 children and on the face of it the "perfect" life.

wind back to Q4 2020 and I get 3 policemen pounding the door asking for them and I state I know their work shifts to a degree, but not their keeper.
30 mins later I thought we were going to lose the front door and again stated I didn't know their whereabouts.
Some hours later they re appeared after countless police, helicopter etc

From that point on they were withdrawn and there were obvious issues occurring we offered the usual we would like to help / support you if we can etc without living in their pockets- there were no support services or secure sectioned places offered.
Mental health patients have been left completely without any support.

Follow up a month or so later and same police helicopter etc and it became apparent that they decided that the outbuilding was the place to be, found they were flown to hospital and new year died.

We have been left with a now very vulnerable single parent friend and young children who we can't answer the questions we have been asked- simply we do not know why!

We have done baby sitting and our youngest is aware as police hardly discrete in their actions.

We had to empty the persons belongings as asked to dispose of them and it wasn't a pleasant experience as it became apparent that there were issues we all didn't know about and couldn't help as clueless.

Having a child ask questions we all couldn't answer is heart breaking, same with the partner left behind.

I'm not sure you can ever connect with everyone, but the important part is to try and be it Money, Relationships or anything else- family, friends, work colleagues etc all would want to help and the devastation caused is long lasting with unanswered questions you come to terms with the person was ill and we simply didn't realise to what degree
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661-Pete
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by 661-Pete »

On the subject of taboos, one of the Guardian's quiz questions last Saturday was, what do the following have in common:
Lavatories; honeymoon couples; lodgers; chambermaids; fig leaves?

Just for once I guessed the right answer! 8) 8) 8) (usually my score in these quizzes is lousy).

Answer is, they were all "Subjects banned on the BBC (1949 variety programme makers’ guide)".

Not a mention of 'suicide' in the above list, note.
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
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[XAP]Bob
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by [XAP]Bob »

It needs to be available to be talked about - but equally importantly is that everything mental health should be able to be talked about.

Suicidal thoughts are rarely the first sign of a mental health issue, in the same way that you don't have a limb fall off and then think "Oh, look I've got frostbite".
A shortcut has to be a challenge, otherwise it would just be the way. No situation is so dire that panic cannot make it worse.
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richardfm
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by richardfm »

pwa wrote: 10 May 2021, 5:32am ....In principle I have no objection to someone without mental health issues taking their own life....
Surely only someone with mental health issues would take their own life?
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pwa
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Re: Suicide - the last taboo? Should it be talked about?

Post by pwa »

richardfm wrote: 12 May 2021, 11:55pm
pwa wrote: 10 May 2021, 5:32am ....In principle I have no objection to someone without mental health issues taking their own life....
Surely only someone with mental health issues would take their own life?
I was considering the situation of someone who has nothing but sadness or pain in their life, with no realistic possibility of anything better. Sadness due to the loss of children perhaps, or pain due to incurable illness. In principle, so long as the wish to die is long established, well thought through and not due to a clinical condition such as depression, I'd see it as a personal choice. But in practice a lot of suicides are due to mental health issues or sad situations that could be improved upon if given more time.
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