Assisted Dying

[Ben@Forest]

Different people chose to live their lives differently. For some monogamy and/or marriage is their choice whilst for others it is not. In our modern society my personal opinion is that it is a personal choice (as long are all are happy with the way they chose to live).

It's the norm that people today have serial monogamic relationships before marriage (the research is endless but it's probably something between 3 and 9 partners). It's at the higher end for men and gay women than straight women and higher again for gay men. Also what counts as a relationship? Does a holiday romance where you have sex with someone several times over a short space of time and never see them again count?

What's true is that the sexual urge can be overpowering (sex is often put at Level 1 in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs) in the sense that men and women have not waited for marriage and will continue not to do so.

[Psamathe]

Different people chose to live their lives differently. For some monogamy and/or marriage is their choice whilst for others it is not. In our modern society my personal opinion is that it is a personal choice (as long are all are happy with the way they chose to live).

It's the norm that people today have serial monogamic relationships before marriage (the research is endless but it's probably something between 3 and 9 partners). It's at the higher end for men and gay women than straight women and higher again for gay men. Also what counts as a relationship? Does a holiday romance where you have sex with someone several times over a short space of time and never see them again count?....

Plus, we need to recognise that a in terms of monogamy/marriage or not choice of life that is not the norm is fine provided nobody hurt, everybody aware of the basis, all consenting, etc..

(My original post was longer but I edited it right down to avoid going into my personal choices which then can put a very different tone on the discussion).

Ian

[Cowsham]

[

Well, we've all got the choice, the legality of it doesn't matter.

Not easy to kill yourself.
As Dorothy Parker wrote,

Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.

Earlier I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room
Fightin' with lover's past
I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
Dorothy was fast

[[XAP]Bob]

What's true is that the sexual urge can be overpowering (sex is often put at Level 1 in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)

Well that's just silly, it clearly doesn't come anywhere near actual physiological needs.

[Carlton green]

What's true is that the sexual urge can be overpowering (sex is often put at Level 1 in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)

Well that's just silly, it clearly doesn't come anywhere near actual physiological needs.

Some people are ‘silly’ and some people are very ‘driven’, those people that are both ‘silly’ and ‘driven’ are going to do things that won’t necessarily have a good outcome. That’s life and why some folk live in poverty with many children ... there are answers to that situation but let’s not get too much thread drift.

Then there’s ordinary folk, in the U.K. six children wasn’t at all unusual. Parents couldn’t afford the children and knew why they arrived but didn’t change their actions. Something must be pretty high up the needs list. Marriage at sixteen was not uncommon, something must have been pretty high up the needs list.

[Carlton green]

[quote="[XAP]Bob" post_id=<a href="tel:1645715">1645715</a> time=1633987725 user_id=6413]
[quote=Ben@Forest post_id=<a href="tel:1645688">1645688</a> time=<a href="tel:1633980160">1633980160</a> user_id=27735]
What's true is that the sexual urge can be overpowering (sex is often put at Level 1 in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)
[/quote]
Well that's just silly, it clearly doesn't come anywhere near actual physiological needs.
[/quote]

^^ The formatting seems to have got tangled up but the gist of the comment is still there.

Some people are ‘silly’ and some people are very ‘driven’, those people that are both ‘silly’ and ‘driven’ are going to do things that won’t necessarily have a good outcome. That’s life and why some folk live in poverty with many children ... there are answers to that situation but let’s not get too much thread drift.

Then there’s ordinary folk, in the U.K. six children wasn’t at all unusual. Parents couldn’t afford the children and knew why they arrived but didn’t change their actions. Something must be pretty high up the needs list. Marriage at sixteen was not uncommon, something must have been pretty high up the needs list.
[/quote]

I believe that it happens, I don't believe it's necessary, and I know that it is frequently harmful.
I'm also not aware of any people who waited and regret doing so, I know several who regret not waiting.

I suppose it all depends what one’s social circle and bubble is ... and how frank and honest people actually are. I had relatives that were hard line Baptist’s and their view would match yours, but they viewed the world in an idealistic way that happened to work for them. I respect the way that they lived their lives, but what worked for them does not necessarily work for all other people.

Interestingly I know of a young couple locally who have strong religious convictions, it seems that they got carried away with things and whilst the young Lady might not have been pregnant - I don’t think it entered into their thought process - they still got married ASAP. The act had happened and so they formalised their ‘union’ before God. Love can overpower some people, many people even, and I applaud that couple’s conviction to their principles.

Edit. Whilst out this morning my mind drifted towards people ‘not regretting that they had waited’. I them quickly brought to mind some people who very much regretted that they had waited and would have been saved much unhappiness had they lived and slept with their partners before marriage. Those people are now divorced and happily remarried to other people.

[NUKe]

Not easy to kill yourself.
As Dorothy Parker wrote,

Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.

Is that the Dorothy that the Artic Monkeys refer to in old Yellow bricks ?

[Mike Sales]

Not easy to kill yourself.
As Dorothy Parker wrote,

Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.

Is that the Dorothy that the Artic Monkeys refer to in old Yellow bricks ?

I would not know. I am not familiar with their oeuvre.
Here are a few of her quips.

“By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Infinite, undying.
Lady make note of this --
One of you is lying.”
― Dorothy Parker


“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”
― Dorothy Parker

“I hate writing, I love having written.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”
― Dorothy Parker

“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”
― Dorothy Parker

“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.”

“Tell him I was too <i>[rude word removed]</i> busy-- or vice versa.”
― Dorothy Parker

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker

“What fresh hell is this?”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

[ANTONISH]

Edit. Whilst out this morning my mind drifted towards people ‘not regretting that they had waited’. I them quickly brought to mind some people who very much regretted that they had waited and would have been saved much unhappiness had they lived and slept with their partners before marriage. Those people are now divorced and happily remarried to other people.

I worked with a chap in the seventies.
Both he and his wife "waited" for religious reasons.
Sadly after they married she wanted to continue "waiting".
There were many consultations with a psychiatrist to no avail.
Things became resolved when he was away in Portsmouth - he met a young woman who didn't believe in "waiting".
After the divorce they settled down happily.

[[XAP]Bob]

Sounds rather like the waiting wasn't actually for religious reasons then... that's a different problem.

[Hellhound]

It's the norm that people today have serial monogamic relationships before marriage (the research is endless but it's probably something between 3 and 9 partners). It's at the higher end for men and gay women than straight women and higher again for gay men. Also what counts as a relationship? Does a holiday romance where you have sex with someone several times over a short space of time and never see them again count?

Back in my wild days in the 80s I 'lived' with about 20 different women and had sexual relations with many more.I would say all were relationships however short.I have gone to the pub on a Friday with one lass,split up,put my stuff in a carrier bag and 'moved in' with another that same night.I might live with someone a week or a month or two but I count all as relationships.It's just how we were.In the 90s the 'relationships' were longer,6 months or a year or so but I was still living with a different girl every year or so.
You have to test drive a lot of cars before you find the right one and partners are no different!
This all stopped in 1997 when I met my wife
I am still good friends with most of my ex-partners and their partners.You only get one life so it's best to live it

[thirdcrank]

You only get one life so it's best to live it

And this is about how that life ends.

(I know I introduced abortion into the discussion, but that was only to illustrate how a change in the law can lead to greater changes than anticipated.)

[pete75]

It's a concept that has long existed. It might not always have been followed by everyone. Keeping one's trousers on until marriage/civil partnership isn't actually that difficult.

I think history proves it is.

No, I think history proves it wasn’t always followed.

Doesn’t magically make it difficult.

But why on earth would anyone want to?

[Cowsham]

I think history proves it is.

No, I think history proves it wasn’t always followed.

Doesn’t magically make it difficult.

But why on earth would anyone want to?

Want to what ? Keep trousers on -- off or make it difficult?

[Hellhound]

You only get one life so it's best to live it

And this is about how that life ends.
(I know I introduced abortion into the discussion, but that was only to illustrate how a change in the law can lead to greater changes than anticipated.)

I didn't start this I was just contributing to one part of the discussion
Part of living your best life is also choosing how it ends if it has to end prematurely.