POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

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531colin
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POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby 531colin » 22 Apr 2012, 4:39pm

(YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)

Every time my eye catches that thread in the "technical" page about womens saddles being shorter than mens, I think its going to be the old one about why are womens feet smaller than mens.....you know, so they can get nice and close to the kitchen sink.....

And just for equality...Why is a man like a bottle of beer? Well, from a long way off you can see the top bit is empty, its only when you investigate further that you find the bottom bit is full of gas!

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531colin
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby 531colin » 22 Apr 2012, 6:03pm

Nobody else got one?

I heard this one recently, it is politically incorrect, but I thought there were parallels to be drawn with either working in a bike shop, or contributing to this forum..... :wink:

"I walked by the local psychiatric institution to-day, the inmates were all chanting "thir-teen, thir-teen, thir-teen, thir-teen". I was consumed with curiosity, the fence is too high for me to see over, so I looked through a gap in the boards. Straightaway, somebody poked me in the eye with a stick, and they started chanting "four-teen, four-teen, four-teen, four-teen..."

Wx3
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby Wx3 » 22 Apr 2012, 6:40pm

I know I shouldn't have, but that last one made me laugh out loud. :D

My favourite Euro joke:
Why do the French plant trees by the sides of their roads?

So the German army can march in the shade.

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al_yrpal
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby al_yrpal » 22 Apr 2012, 7:45pm

Steve Jobs arrives at the Pearly Gates and tells St Peter "I have a complaint."

"What is it" asks Peter.

"Well" said Steve, "I thought it was customary for a dying person to see their whole life flash before them."

"Sorry" says Peter, "but you don't support Flash."
Touring on a bicycle is a great way to explore and appreciate the countryside and towns you pass through. CTC gone but not forgotten!

TonyR
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby TonyR » 22 Apr 2012, 10:54pm

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
Emo Philips.

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hubgearfreak
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby hubgearfreak » 22 Apr 2012, 11:14pm

So Paddy goes for a job at the building site but the foreman says "Before I can give you a job, there's a couple of questions I need to ask you. do you know the difference between a joist and a girder?"

"Oh, dat's an easy one," says Paddy, "Joist wrote Ulysses and Girder wrote Faust."

Moodyman1

Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby Moodyman1 » 23 Apr 2012, 1:17am

Wot you call a Spanish man leaving a hospital?

Manuel (man well)

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al_yrpal
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby al_yrpal » 23 Apr 2012, 7:39am

I know it's depressing when you look at your payslip and you see how much tax you are paying, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free.

Unfortunately that nation is Afghanistan!!
Touring on a bicycle is a great way to explore and appreciate the countryside and towns you pass through. CTC gone but not forgotten!

Alan D
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby Alan D » 23 Apr 2012, 12:44pm

This is a bit dated....

A man walks into a Pub with his dog and goes up the the bar.
The man is wearing D.M. boots, clean Levi's, white T-shirt, Union Jack braces, skinhead haircut, tatoo's all over his arms. He is big and intimidating looking. His dog is the fiercest looking rottweiller you have ever seen.
Man says to barman, "Do you serve Milwall supporters?"
The which the barman replies, "We serve anyone, sir"
"Well in that case" said the man, "a pint of bitter for me and a Milwall supporter for the dog"

bensonboo
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby bensonboo » 23 Apr 2012, 5:59pm

I live by the motto "Never do anything you may regret later in life".

In fact, I think so much of it that I got it tattooed on my forehead.

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531colin
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby 531colin » 23 Apr 2012, 7:02pm

.....Its totally irrelevent what we ourselves find offensive, or inoffensive

....sadly, I have thoughtlessly increased the workload of a group of people who give their time for nothing, and for that I apologise unreservedly.

Its fine by me if the mods delete the lot, its probably the easiest way.

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Steve Kish
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby Steve Kish » 23 Apr 2012, 8:22pm

Well, looks like they've already deleted one of mine! :?
Old enough to know better but too young to care.

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al_yrpal
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby al_yrpal » 23 Apr 2012, 8:35pm

Sorry if I fouled this up guys. What's acceptable to some is not to others.

Al
Touring on a bicycle is a great way to explore and appreciate the countryside and towns you pass through. CTC gone but not forgotten!

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horizon
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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby horizon » 23 Apr 2012, 8:54pm

al_yrpal wrote:Sorry if I fouled this up guys. What's acceptable to some is not to others.

Al


alyrpal; have PM'd you and Si.
I have two doctors, my left leg and my right leg. (G. M. Trevelyan)
PS I always wondered why the YHA HQ was called Trevelyan House. :)

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Re: POLITICALLY INCORRECT JOKE THREAD

Postby Vorpal » 23 Apr 2012, 9:53pm

will hold the men jokes, then... :wink:
“In some ways, it is easier to be a dissident, for then one is without responsibility.”
― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom