Cycling UK Forum

(YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)

Every time my eye catches that thread in the "technical" page about womens saddles being shorter than mens, I think its going to be the old one about why are womens feet smaller than mens.....you know, so they can get nice and close to the kitchen sink.....

And just for equality...Why is a man like a bottle of beer? Well, from a long way off you can see the top bit is empty, its only when you investigate further that you find the bottom bit is full of gas!

Nobody else got one?

I heard this one recently, it is politically incorrect, but I thought there were parallels to be drawn with either working in a bike shop, or contributing to this forum.....

"I walked by the local psychiatric institution to-day, the inmates were all chanting "thir-teen, thir-teen, thir-teen, thir-teen". I was consumed with curiosity, the fence is too high for me to see over, so I looked through a gap in the boards. Straightaway, somebody poked me in the eye with a stick, and they started chanting "four-teen, four-teen, four-teen, four-teen..."

I know I shouldn't have, but that last one made me laugh out loud.

My favourite Euro joke:
Why do the French plant trees by the sides of their roads?

So the German army can march in the shade.

Steve Jobs arrives at the Pearly Gates and tells St Peter "I have a complaint."

"What is it" asks Peter.

"Well" said Steve, "I thought it was customary for a dying person to see their whole life flash before them."

"Sorry" says Peter, "but you don't support Flash."

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
Emo Philips.

So Paddy goes for a job at the building site but the foreman says "Before I can give you a job, there's a couple of questions I need to ask you. do you know the difference between a joist and a girder?"

"Oh, dat's an easy one," says Paddy, "Joist wrote Ulysses and Girder wrote Faust."

Wot you call a Spanish man leaving a hospital?

Manuel (man well)

I know it's depressing when you look at your payslip and you see how much tax you are paying, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free.

Unfortunately that nation is Afghanistan!!

This is a bit dated....

A man walks into a Pub with his dog and goes up the the bar.
The man is wearing D.M. boots, clean Levi's, white T-shirt, Union Jack braces, skinhead haircut, tatoo's all over his arms. He is big and intimidating looking. His dog is the fiercest looking rottweiller you have ever seen.
Man says to barman, "Do you serve Milwall supporters?"
The which the barman replies, "We serve anyone, sir"
"Well in that case" said the man, "a pint of bitter for me and a Milwall supporter for the dog"

I live by the motto "Never do anything you may regret later in life".

In fact, I think so much of it that I got it tattooed on my forehead.

.....Its totally irrelevent what we ourselves find offensive, or inoffensive

....sadly, I have thoughtlessly increased the workload of a group of people who give their time for nothing, and for that I apologise unreservedly.

Its fine by me if the mods delete the lot, its probably the easiest way.

Well, looks like they've already deleted one of mine!

Sorry if I fouled this up guys. What's acceptable to some is not to others.

Al

al_yrpal wrote:Sorry if I fouled this up guys. What's acceptable to some is not to others.

Al

alyrpal; have PM'd you and Si.

will hold the men jokes, then...