Cycling UK Forum

Wx3 wrote:I know I shouldn't have, but that last one made me laugh out loud.

My favourite Euro joke:
Why do the French plant trees by the sides of their roads?

So the German army can march in the shade.

Or the Germans planted them when they occupied parts of Grand-Est, many avenues are apple trees so the boys could feed, but eating too many apples did for them in the end, now they have upgraded to bananas

rich.hr6 wrote:Just to get back on topic........

Rich, you will still love me if you win the Euro-millions Rollover this weekend, won't you?

Yes, of course I will. I'll miss you, but I'll still love you.................

'Darling, I just won a million on the lottery!'

'Wonderful, now we can afford to get divorced'
..
Women prefer simple things, men for example
..
Is this forum a sort of mens shed? I fear females are in the minority

661-Pete wrote:I'm not sure whether they also have a pop at French-speaking Canadians, but they probably do...

Strangely enough, they don‘t.

661-Pete wrote:I'm told that French people have a whole gamut of jokes about (French-speaking) Belgians and Swiss, which are probably very similar to the ones English people tell about Welsh, Scots and Irish. I'm not sure whether they also have a pop at French-speaking Canadians, but they probably do...

I haven't heard any jokes about it, but when I was working regularly with both Canadian and French colleagues, They used to tease each other about language. Mostly stuff like, 'you sound like French farmers did 400 years ago' and 'you sound like you are talking aorund a mouthful'.

In Germany the 'Irish' jokes are or certainly were directed at East Frisians - the joke being on the slow or rural East Frisians.

When l was living in Gemany there were lots of jokes about the (former) East Germans - for instance:

How do you know you have an Ossi working in the office?

There's Tippex on the computer screen.

661-Pete wrote:

Vorpal wrote:I usually try to make a joke that let's people know I didn't like their joke.

Interesting that you should say that - that is precisely what I did on the above occasion. In my previous post I didn't quite tell the full story.

The 'joke' in question that I'd been 'entertained' with was mildly anti-semitic. I won't repeat it here, but you all know the sort of thing - the "how was copper wire invented?" sort of genre. Keeping my straight face, I countered with a joke of my own: a 'real' Jewish joke, one that Jews tell to other Jews. My interlocutor laughed heartily at this! After this, having got him in an affable mood, I muttered quietly: "I'm not bothered but you may want to be careful where you tell your joke". He looked nonplussed at that - whether my warning sank home or not, I don't know.

That's a nice approach Pete, well done! (It helps that Jews have a strong heritage of excellent humour about themselves.)

The only approach I've seen done is the Roxanne*-nose-jokes strategy, as demonstrated by Steve Martin (one of his finest moments?):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1nYEH6EDwM

(*Cyrano de Bergerac for those better-read than me!)

mattheus wrote:The only approach I've seen done is the Roxanne*-nose-jokes strategy, as demonstrated by Steve Martin (one of his finest moments?):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1nYEH6EDwM

(*Cyrano de Bergerac for those better-read than me!)

I'm also reminded of Eddie Murphy's send-up of the stand-up in The Nutty Professor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdDxVZkytxI

Ben@Forest wrote:In Germany the 'Irish' jokes are or certainly were directed at East Frisians - the joke being on the slow or rural East Frisians.

When l was living in Gemany there were lots of jokes about the (former) East Germans - for instance:

How do you know you have an Ossi working in the office?

There's Tippex on the computer screen.

Ossis sind schlau und stellen sich dumm. Bei Wessis ist es anders rum
Ossis are smart and pretend not to be, Wessis are the other way round

Ostdeutschland ist the old Germany, in positive and negative ways

Not sure where to put this funny and sound article on

Anglo-Saxons deserve reparations for the Norman Conquest

https://www.spectator.co.uk/2019/07/ang ... 20Conquest

Seems like we need to go and sue the French? We dont owe the EU anything, but the French do? LOTS

I WANT MY LAND BACK

mercalia wrote:Not sure where to put this funny and sound article on

Anglo-Saxons deserve reparations for the Norman Conquest

https://www.spectator.co.uk/2019/07/ang ... 20Conquest

Seems like we need to go and sue the French? We dont owe the EU anything, but the French do? LOTS

I WANT MY LAND BACK

Love it!

Humans don't own anything on Earth but they destroy everything.
Now they even sue each other for that...How funny is it? LOL

mercalia wrote:Not sure where to put this funny and sound article on

Anglo-Saxons deserve reparations for the Norman Conquest

https://www.spectator.co.uk/2019/07/ang ... 20Conquest

Seems like we need to go and sue the French? We dont owe the EU anything, but the French do? LOTS

I WANT MY LAND BACK

I think that the Welsh were here before the Anglo-Saxon and Viking invaders.

Mike Sales wrote:I think that the Welsh were here before the Anglo-Saxon and Viking invaders.

They were the original Neanderthals though...

(Is that politically incorrect enough for this thread or should I move it?)

They are the most wronged as they were kicked out by those African upstarts?

mercalia wrote:They are the most wronged as they were kicked out by those African upstarts?

That's just a rumour put about by cats for their own selfish ends.

As I understand it the current prevailing theory is that both H. sapiens and F. catus originated in Africa, albeit separately. Why, then, do my cats bask in the sun on the hottest days of the year, whereas I'm still sweating under a tree in autumn?

The only logical explanation is that cats did indeed arise in Africa, and encountered humans during their diaspora. Both Neanderthals and "modern" humans began in Eurasia, but despite their superior strength the Neanderthals were slower to pick up essential skills, such as insulating the hut and winding fibres into balls, so it was us that became domesticated.

Much later (probably after the invention of the airing cupboard door), cats in cooler regions became disillusioned and began to spread the rumour that we, too, had come from Africa. The hope was that we'd all eventually either migrate back "home" or find a way to heat up the rest of the world to a more cat-friendly temperature.

Now that electrically heated cat beds are becoming cheaper, the human out-of-Africa story will probably be allowed to die quietly. A Eurasian human origin makes more sense to me, anyway - I've thought so ever since the dog pointed it out.

Saw the Welsh bobsleigh team out practising today and thought of this thread.