DON'T TELL HIM, PIKE!

[[XAP]Bob]

Quite like the story a friend of a friend had - after the n-th call got the conservatory salesman to come round and quote - on a first floor flat . Probably appocraphal, but you never know

I nearly did the same, but couldn't bring myself to wreck the afternoon of the salesman, if it had been the CEO then I might have carried on...

(Second floor flat, leasehold)

[Redvee]

Phone numbers are re-issued, when we had a phone installed we had frequent rude and threatening phonecalls from Bailiffs chasing the previous holder of the number. They scared my wife but I enjoyed winding them up as they just were not willing to accept the number had moved on.

I dont know how long numbers are stored before re-issue, you would expect more than three weeks.

They did address me by name.

There are people who make a hobby* out of 'baiting' these scammers, playing along and stringing them along for as long as possible. The idea is that while the scammers are occupied with chasing these false leads, they are not scamming real victims! Also they post reports up on the 'net for the enlightenment amusement of others - some of the concessions they manage to extract from the scammers is quite unbelievable.

*I am in no position to judge people's hobbies!

419eater.com is the website where they report stories of scamming such people.

Quite like the story a friend of a friend had - after the n-th call got the conservatory salesman to come round and quote - on a first floor flat . Probably appocraphal, but you never know

They had a glazing firm in the foyer of my local supermarket and I did my best to avoid them but got collared so played along with the conservatory thing, when asked for my property type I mentioned first floor flat and the salesgirl was on the ball and replied 'Oh we can't do a conservatory but we can give you a quote for double glazing'. Slightly caught out I said the building is listed and walked off.

[BigFoz]

Two tactics I use:
1. For phone calls "Ooh hang on, yes I'd love to hear about your offer, hold on a sec while I turn the kettle off so we don't get interrupted". Then simply leave the phone and get on with what you were doing. I've had idiots stay on the phone for 20minutes while I was carrying on with work (via my Blackberry) in the other room.
2. When the nice lady smiles at you leaving B&Q as you pass her windows stand I simply say "No thanks, our house already has windows".

[Edwards]

When the phone rings pick it up and do not speak, just wait for them to start talking. Most just hang up.
My favourite is to say I am the brother or some other relative (did try the wife but they did not believe me).

The window people, I just tell them their company replaced ours and do they not remember me as I have so many problems with them.

[al_yrpal]

My technique is to say "never heard of him, can I take your order?", and then say they must want to talk to Mr Singh who is in the kitchen at the moment. I then put the phone down and leave them hanging on. They usually ring off sharpish. If they don't I just say he is making some Naans and wont be long. You can repeat that with various dishes.

That said, we dont get many because we are on the telephone preference service. I cannot understand why anyone would not register with this free service which prevents almost all of these sort of calls.

Great fun.

Al

[LollyKat]

That said, we dont get many because we are on the telephone preference service. I cannot understand why anyone would not register with this free service which prevents almost all of these sort of calls.
Al

So are we - it has cut down the number but we still get about two per day .

[cycleruk]

We have been with the TPS for many years and yes it did reduce calls originally.
But a lot of calls come from abroad and they don't come under the TPS agreement.
Calls from the UK usually start "I am not trying to sell you" or "We are carrying out a survey". (or words to that effect)
TPS only covers, I think, sales calls?

[al_yrpal]

We have been with the TPS for many years and yes it did reduce calls originally.
But a lot of calls come from abroad and they don't come under the TPS agreement.
Calls from the UK usually start "I am not trying to sell you" or "We are carrying out a survey". (or words to that effect)
TPS only covers, I think, sales calls?

In that case you have obviously got yourself on some sort of list. Our landline is free of these calls, I just get an occasional one on my mobile. I must register that too.

Al

[jezer]

On the last 'virus on your computer' call I replied 'before you continue I must inform you that this call is being recorded at the request of OFCOM as part of their information gathering into suspected scam calls'. I asked her to state her name, company and address clearly for the tape. She carried on for about 30 seconds before hanging up. English was clearly not her first language, and I expect a more senior person intervened to cut the call.

[Merry_Wanderer]

I get 2 or 3 cold calls per week, despite being on the TPS. I am either out when they ring or if I am in and inadvertently answer the phone, I repeatedly say "hello, hello" as if I can't hear the caller then hang up after 20 seconds or so.

My late Dad on the other hand used to put on silly voices when he answered the phone to cold callers. My favourite was when he answered to a double glazing salesman and sang 'The Ying Tong Song'

[jezer]

Ah, the wonderful Goons, I think that is the correct response to cold calls

[[XAP]Bob]

Can't believe noone has posted this:
http://egbg.home.xs4all.nl/counterscript.html (also available as a PDF)

[Cunobelin]

I represent company blah-blah.
We represent Microsoft Windows and it has come to our attention that you have a serious virus on your computer.
.

My wife played the "incompetent user" and kept on getting the answers wrong, or being unable to find the button.... then after 20 minutes asked if the fact her computer had an apple on the back made any difference?

[Cunobelin]

Two tactics I use:
1. For phone calls "Ooh hang on, yes I'd love to hear about your offer, hold on a sec while I turn the kettle off so we don't get interrupted". Then simply leave the phone and get on with what you were doing. I've had idiots stay on the phone for 20minutes while I was carrying on with work (via my Blackberry) in the other room.
2. When the nice lady smiles at you leaving B&Q as you pass her windows stand I simply say "No thanks, our house already has windows".

My wife is cruel!

We had a phne call from a windows company who agreed they were "plastic"

She then spent 40 minutes talking about how she had a window in the kitchen and one in the living room that could both do with replacement, as they had cracks in the seals and leaked in heavy rain...... after some 40 minutes agreed that we could buy one and get one free.

However they would not give any quotes until they had measured up. AT this point she offered to bring them down

Stunned silence followed by "bring them down?"

Yes said my wife cheerfully they are the plastic windows in my tent!


His next answer wasn't very polite

[Redvee]

When the phone rings pick it up and do not speak, just wait for them to start talking. Most just hang up.

I do that or just say hello then go silent. When I lived at home with my Dad telesales callers would ask for Mr xxx, I'd ask which one then say he's out even if I was the one they wanted to speak to. PPI calls that are a recorded message saying press 1 to request an information pack etc are put on loudspeaker and ignored.