Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

[Cyril Haearn]

..
Most of the jokes in this thread are very bad indeed
..

I have contributed many but I do not feel insulted
Please supply some good jokes, thank you in advance

[sjs]

Which circumstances are those? Most of the jokes in this thread are very bad indeed. Why does this one deserve such a long-winded response?

Because it's not a joke, it's an insult. And offensive to boot.

.

I think maybe you're easily offended. Do you think making suggestions in big fonts should increase the likelihood of those suggestions being adopted?
Merry Christmas by the way.

[sjs]

..
Most of the jokes in this thread are very bad indeed
..

I have contributed many but I do not feel insulted
Please supply some good jokes, thank you in advance

I'm glad you don't feel insulted. There's nothing wrong with bad jokes, maybe yours are among the better ones and it's only my opinion anyway.

I'll try to think of some and you can criticise them individually if you like.

[Spinners]

To broaden my social circle I joined the oesteopath's society.... but didn’t really click.

[sjs]

..
Most of the jokes in this thread are very bad indeed
..

I have contributed many but I do not feel insulted
Please supply some good jokes, thank you in advance

I'm glad you don't feel insulted. There's nothing wrong with bad jokes, maybe yours are among the better ones and it's only my opinion anyway.

I'll try to think of some and you can criticise them individually if you like.

How about this, from some time ago (I hope the link works)?

viewtopic.php?f=15&t=93708&p=861874&hilit=malaysia#p861874

[sjs]

What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?

Bing sings and Walt disnae.

[sjs]

Did you know, the people of Dubai really don't like the Flintstones, but the people of Abu Dhabi do.

[Vitara]

Interesting one that...and any particular reason the electrician was female?

It's a bit like my favourite:
you can put hot things in a vacuum flask and it they stay hot
and you can put cold things in and they stay cold.
But how does it know?

I got a vacuum flask from Santa
Now I know how it works I'm going to use it on tomorrow's ride
I think I'll take soup and ice cream

[100%JR]

Which circumstances are those? Most of the jokes in this thread are very bad indeed. Why does this one deserve such a long-winded response?

Because it's not a joke, it's an insult. And offensive to boot.
I suggest this thread be locked. Some people have tried to contribute genuine - albeit old and well-worn - jokes. Others have hijacked it as a vehicle for their petty little prejudices.

Insult..No.
Offensive..What?????????
Oh dear,oh dear,oh dear
Some people really shouldn't be on the internet at all.

[Cyril Haearn]

More bad jokes please, the worst wins a prize

What makes a bad joke? Unfunny? Not sexist, racist etc, certainly

[Cyril Haearn]

Hi,
How can you tell someone's a Vegan?

They'll Tell You!

How might one identify a plain-clothes policeperson? (They do not identify themself)
..
By their posture, how they observe, they address people as 'sir', 'madam', probably wear a uniform leather jacket
..
Is that bad enough?

[661-Pete]

Bad jokes then! I just thought, in a moment of idleness, I'd see what our cross-channel neighbours say about us Anglais fous (incidentally, the term les rosbifs is all but obsolete - if it ever did have any currency). If you don't speak French, don't worry! Just pump them into Google Translate, they'll translate OK...

(Q): Qu'est-ce qui est long, dur et qui debouche sur 40 millions de trous-du-cul?
(R): Le tunnel sous la manche.

Deux vieux anglais jouent au golf.
Sur la route voisine arrive un cortège d'enterrement.
Le premier anglais arrête de jouer, enlève sa casquette, tandis que passe le cortège funèbre.
- Ah!, dit l'autre, Quel civisme ! je n'aurais jamais imaginé qu'un joueur comme vous se découvrirait sur le passage d'un enterrement !
- C'est à dire que nous avons tout de même été mariés pendant 40 ans.

Un anglais est assis sur un banc public à côté d'un français
- Attention, un guêpe, dit l'anglais.
- On dit une guêpe
- Aow. Vous avez de bons yeux!

Un jeune étudiant français est envoyé par ses parents passer un mois dans une famille riche anglaise. Le père lui fait faire le tour de la propriété.
- C'est un terrain de golf que vous avez là? dit le français. Magnifique! Vous jouez souvent?
- Non, j'ai essayé une fois, mais ça ne m'a pas plu. Trop fatigant.
Puis ils aperçoivent deux chevaux superbes dans un enclos.
- Ah? dit le français. Vous faites de l'équitation!
- Non, j'ai essayé une fois, mais ça ne m'a pas plu. Trop fatigant...
La visite se poursuit et ils longent un court de tennis.
- Et je suppose que...
- Non, non, dit l'Anglais. J'ai essayé une fois, mais ça ne m'a pas plu.Trop fatigant.
A ce moment-là, un jeune homme s'avance vers eux.
- Ah, mon jeune ami, je vous présente mon fils, William.
Le Français lui serre la main puis se tourne vers le père:
- Fils unique, je présume...

[Cyril Haearn]

Plus One, I am half English, don't mind English jokes in French, I could understand the last one without translation
Hope no-one else was offended

[NATURAL ANKLING]

Hi,
Come on Cyril Haearn that's a bad joke
Even If I could understand the French I doubt I would be offended.
We had any number of bad jokes at school and no one was ever offended, even the racist ones, best mate was a scot
As you get older you tend not to be offended much / or don't bite.
My bad joke was as others have said SO Lame, if it offended "then grow some" I.M.O.
See what I did there I took a leaf out of someone else's book

Have a good one (American) and lets get some more miles in next year

[Cyril Haearn]

Some of these jokes are so bad that they are good