Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

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Audax67
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Audax67 »

Cyril Haearn wrote:Could we upgrade to 'cleanest funny joke'?


Interesting that clean implies just that, whereas cleanest implies may be unsuitable for parents and moderators.
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PDQ Mobile
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by PDQ Mobile »

Audax67 wrote:
Cyril Haearn wrote:Could we upgrade to 'cleanest funny joke'?


Interesting that clean implies just that, whereas cleanest implies may be unsuitable for parents and moderators.

Or just not funny. :wink:
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Audax67
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Audax67 »

In keeping with the government's policy of austerity, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

- pinched from FB
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rich.hr6
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by rich.hr6 »

" DAAADDDD.....I'm cold, "


Go and stand in the corner, it's ninety degrees.
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Spinners
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Spinners »

Me: I'd like to join your yoga classes please.

Yoga Instructor: OK. What do you want to get out of these classes?

Me: Well, I'd like to learn how to do the splits.

Yoga Instructor: How flexible are you?

Me: Well, I can't make Tuesdays.
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Debs
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

In my new job I tickle people’s feet to make them happy.

I’m a CheerUpOdist.
Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

A cleaning lady joke

Wife: 'I had to release Mrs Tidy, she has been stealing towels from our bathrooms again'
Husband: "stealing? :?"
Wife:'yes, she took two *intercontinental hotel* towels and three *fivestar hilton* towels!'
..
Seems quite an unobjectionable clean joke exposing hypocrisy of the well-to-do
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661-Pete
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by 661-Pete »

An insignificant little chap is quietly having lunch in a transport cafe, when a gang of Hell’s Angels lurch in. They assemble menacingly, surrounding the man, one of them reaches over to his plate, picks up a chip, dips it in the egg-yolk and eats it. Another grabs a sausage, takes a bite off it, then puts it back. A third takes a slurp from his mug of tea. This goes on for several minutes, then the man, who has taken no notice, quietly gets up without a word, pays, and leaves. One of the Hell's Angels walks up to the counter. “That bloke who just went out. Not much of a man is he?” he says. “He’s not much of a driver either,” replies the cafe owner, after a brief glance out of the window. “He’s just reversed his 44-tonne artic. over a dozen Harley Davidsons...”
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
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Mick F
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Mick F »

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
















No idea.
Mick F. Cornwall
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RickH
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by RickH »

Mick F wrote:What do you call a deer with no eyes?
















No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes & no legs?






Still no idea!
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Mick F
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Mick F »

:lol: :lol:
Giggles loudly.
Mick F. Cornwall
Debs
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

What has four legs and one arm?

--
--
--

A Rottweiler.
Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

The ladies football world championship is on now, saw a cartoon:

Gent moping at the supper table
Wife: "you either finish your supper, or you watch the football match with me!" :wink:
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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

Sign on the Donauradweg:

Maximum weight 3.5 Tonnes (cyclists exempt)
..
Bought some running shoes from SportStore
The serviceperson explained that the shoes might be a bit tight to start with
"No problem, I shall not be starting excersize for a couple of weeks!", I optimised
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661-Pete
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by 661-Pete »

Cyril Haearn wrote:Sign on the Donauradweg:

Maximum weight 3.5 Tonnes (cyclists exempt)
There might be some relevance in that:
Image
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
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