Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

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Debs
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Debs » 19 Nov 2020, 11:35pm

My Henry had a rhinoplasty...

Okay i bought him a new hose, his original kept falling off at the most inappropriate moment,

although he's still a great performer at 28 years old :)


Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Cyril Haearn » 22 Nov 2020, 11:59am

- Did you enjoy going fishing with your uncle, love?
- It was okay, mum, we had a picnic, but we didnae catch even one stickleback! Not surprising really. The bait tastes disgusting
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mercalia
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby mercalia » 22 Nov 2020, 12:53pm

Cyril Haearn wrote:- Did you enjoy going fishing with your uncle, love?
- It was okay, mum, we had a picnic, but we didnae catch even one stickleback! Not surprising really. The bait tastes disgusting


and they kept wriggling in my mouth

kwackers
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby kwackers » 22 Nov 2020, 9:40pm

nom.jpg

Debs
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Debs » 23 Nov 2020, 12:19am

Image

mercalia
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby mercalia » 23 Nov 2020, 1:12am

ouch!

Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Cyril Haearn » 23 Nov 2020, 9:44am

I used to use my Easynosh ClubCard to scrape ice off of the car windows, but it only got 20% orf :wink:
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Oldjohnw
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Oldjohnw » 23 Nov 2020, 3:25pm

I loved this from HIGNFY:

After it was announced that gyms would reopen on 3rd December, thousands can't wait to not go to them again.
John

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Mick F
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Mick F » 23 Nov 2020, 3:41pm

kwackers wrote:nom.jpg

Sorry.
I don't get the joke at all.

Please explain.

Lost what in Nom, and where is Nom?
Mick F. Cornwall

kwackers
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby kwackers » 23 Nov 2020, 3:47pm

Mick F wrote:Sorry.
I don't get the joke at all.

Please explain.


Only if we assume you've signed the following:-

"I Mick F hereby and without prejudice absolve Kwackers from any responsibility including but not limited to 'loss of humour', 'age related feelings of inadequacy', 'not being down with the kids' etc etc"

Google wrote:Nom.
It was first defined on Urban Dictionary in 2004. It can be ascribed to something a person wants to eat (“Wanna go get some noms?”), a specific food item, the process of eating (“That jerk nommed all my pizza”), or, more typically, the sound of eating itself.


And obviously "Nom" is a replacement for "Nam" referring to Americans(?) returning from Vietnam.
The implication being that he lost his leg in Nam - or in this case being a gingerbread man because someone 'Nommed' it.

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kylecycler
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby kylecycler » 23 Nov 2020, 4:13pm

kwackers wrote:
Mick F wrote:Sorry.
I don't get the joke at all.

Please explain.


Only if we assume you've signed the following:-

"I Mick F hereby and without prejudice absolve Kwackers from any responsibility including but not limited to 'loss of humour', 'age related feelings of inadequacy', 'not being down with the kids' etc etc"

Google wrote:Nom.
It was first defined on Urban Dictionary in 2004. It can be ascribed to something a person wants to eat (“Wanna go get some noms?”), a specific food item, the process of eating (“That jerk nommed all my pizza”), or, more typically, the sound of eating itself.


And obviously "Nom" is a replacement for "Nam" referring to Americans(?) returning from Vietnam.
The implication being that he lost his leg in Nam - or in this case being a gingerbread man because someone 'Nommed' it.


Right, Mick, you can laugh now! :lol: (I needed it explained to me too! :))

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Mick F
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Mick F » 23 Nov 2020, 4:39pm

Thanks Kwackers!
Thanks for explaining it, but it's not exactly funny. Doesn't even raise a smile.

Why "lost it" ........ when it should be "lost them"?
Hand and leg, is a Them, not an It.
Mick F. Cornwall

kwackers
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby kwackers » 23 Nov 2020, 4:49pm

Mick F wrote:Thanks Kwackers!
Thanks for explaining it, but it's not exactly funny. Doesn't even raise a smile.

Why "lost it" ........ when it should be "lost them"?
Hand and leg, is a Them, not an It.

No joke is funny when you over analyse it - you did read the disclaimer?


There's an associated "I lost it in 'Nam, man" bit to it which seems to be lost forever in popular culture.
No idea where it came from but I instantly recognised it.

(Apparently in the 'states it used to be common when asked where someone was and you didn't know to say "we lost them in 'Nam")

pete75
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby pete75 » 23 Nov 2020, 6:37pm

Debs wrote:Image



:D :D :D