Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Know why lots of people are getting the Astra injection? Well, apparently, they were going to approve the Golf injection but people were suffering smelly emissions.
The older I get the more I’m inclined to act my shoe size, not my age.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
[youtube]KX1CSSZa1v0[/youtube]
'Give me my bike, a bit of sunshine - and a stop-off for a lunchtime pint - and I'm a happy man.' - Reg Baker
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
White horse walks into a bar. The barman says "we've got a whisky named after you". White horse says, "what Eric".
Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Why are pirates bad men
Cos they ARRRRR
Cos they ARRRRR
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Two neighbouring farmers commiserating over the bad harvest.
"You know, my wheat crop was so poor I had to harvest it with scissors."
"You think you've got problems?! I had to lather my field and shave it."
"You know, my wheat crop was so poor I had to harvest it with scissors."
"You think you've got problems?! I had to lather my field and shave it."
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Attention please!
Could all those that have turned up for yodelling lessons today,
please stand to my right and form an orderly orderly orderly queue…
Could all those that have turned up for yodelling lessons today,
please stand to my right and form an orderly orderly orderly queue…
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
The least funny cartoon I've seen recently is in the current Private Eye.
It's based on the famous painting by Édouard Manet Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe but the caption is "Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe. Avec le wasp" and the picnickers are behaving as they might if disturbed by a wasp. If there's anything funny there, it went straight over my head. (NB For anybody who doesn't know, le wasp is not French for the wasp.)
Here's an old post about the painting
viewtopic.php?p=36929#p36929
It's based on the famous painting by Édouard Manet Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe but the caption is "Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe. Avec le wasp" and the picnickers are behaving as they might if disturbed by a wasp. If there's anything funny there, it went straight over my head. (NB For anybody who doesn't know, le wasp is not French for the wasp.)
Here's an old post about the painting
viewtopic.php?p=36929#p36929
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- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
A mortorist and her husband were checking their vehicle before the mot test
Headlights? Working!
Brake Lights? Working!
Indicators? Working! Not working! Working! Not Working!..
Headlights? Working!
Brake Lights? Working!
Indicators? Working! Not working! Working! Not Working!..
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Never criticise someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes,
that way when you do criticise you will be far enough away for them to not hear you.
that way when you do criticise you will be far enough away for them to not hear you.