Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

[reohn2]

Mexican firefighter had two sons Hose A and Hose B(better said than read)


Police drag a Mexican in for murdering his wife.
Police man says "why did you throw your wife off the cliff" Mexican replies "Tequila!"(another better said than read)

[Cyril Haearn]

Customs stopped an a**i at the port for the ferry to "Europe"
'Alcohol, drugs, weapons, tobacco, cash?' barked the customsperson
'We have plenty in the boot, thanks for offering, but could I please have a glass of milk?', replied the driver from behind her mirror sunglasses

[Graham]

^ please translate . . . . .

[pete75]

My father believed in fighting fire with fire. That's why he got the sack from the fire brigade.

[Cyril Haearn]

From "Green Book", won Oscar for best film
Tony Villalonga was sacked from his job driving a trash truck in NYC
"You should not have hit the foreman", said his wife
"He should not have woken me up!", said Tony

[pete75]

Customs stopped an a**i at the port for the ferry to "Europe"
'Alcohol, drugs, weapons, tobacco, cash?' barked the customsperson
'We have plenty in the boot, thanks for offering, but could I please have a glass of milk?', replied the driver from behind her mirror sunglasses

Please explain. What is an a**i and what is the significance of the milk and the sunglasses.

[Cyril Haearn]

1. make of vehicle mentioned elsewhere on these fora, 'Why is it always an a**i?'
2. milk was mentioned in the original version in a kiddies magazine
3. added that to make her seem mysterious

[Debs]

My dog kept chasing people riding a bike.

It got so bad that I had to take the bike off him.

[loch eck steve]

My dog kept chasing people riding a bike.

It got so bad that I had to take the bike off him.

Brilliant

[loch eck steve]

Customs stopped an a**i at the port for the ferry to "Europe"
'Alcohol, drugs, weapons, tobacco, cash?' barked the customsperson
'We have plenty in the boot, thanks for offering, but could I please have a glass of milk?', replied the driver from behind her mirror sunglasses

Sorry can't work that one out at all

[Cyril Haearn]

Customs stopped an a**i at the port for the ferry to "Europe"
'Alcohol, drugs, weapons, tobacco, cash?' barked the customsperson
'We have plenty in the boot, thanks for offering, but could I please have a glass of milk?', replied the driver from behind her mirror sunglasses

Sorry can't work that one out at all

The a**i driver thought the customs person was offering stuff to buy for the journey

[loch eck steve]

Got ya

[Debs]

My optometrist thinks my eyes will probably improve.
Unfortunately, my pessometrist thinks they’ll get worse.

[Cyril Haearn]

There is nothing worse than a young pessimist
Except maybe an old optimist
[A few of those on here ]

[Mike_Ayling]

Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back
was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait
till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my
mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move if
he's not on it."