Cycling UK Forum

Have you heard about the Frenchman with a wheat allergy?
He could only count to seven.

Proof that a dog is a mans best friend.....
lock your dog and your wife in the boot of your car and go back in an hour and see which is pleased to see you

Why did the Weeble go to the cash machine?












He wanted to check his balance.

Why don't flies have balls ?












Because they can't dance.

I bought Mrs Jezer a wooden leg for Christmas, it wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler

I bought myself an etrex!!

freeflow wrote:I bought myself an etrex!!

Is that yorkshire for a long walk?

geocycle wrote:

freeflow wrote:I bought myself an etrex!!

Is that yorkshire for a long walk?

Or cooking fat laced with Ecstasy? Rubbed into the mouth in what Yorkshire druggies refer to as "E by gum"

When I was at school I was the teacher's pet. She kept me in a cage at the back of the classroom. Alright it's an old one, but then so am I

jezer wrote:I bought Mrs Jezer a wooden leg for Christmas, it wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler

I got Mrs R an eye pad. I still don't understand what I did wrong - she'd been dropping hints about wanting one for months.

Heres food for thought…Meskel Square, Addis Abeba: http://youtu.be/UEIn8GJIg0E Watch the peds and cyclists!

And.. To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present...

They are due back at the library today.

..and Bilbo was surprised to wake one morning and find a Tesco had been built next to his house. It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area.

Jack and Jill,
Went up the hill,
To have some hanky panky,
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Franky.

One, two, three, four, five, once I caught a fish alive,
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
I'm barred from Deep Sea World again.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
The structure of the wall was incorrect,
So he got three grand from Claims Direct.

Mary had a little lamb,
It had a touch of colic,
She gave it brandy twice a day,
And now its alcoholic.
Al

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
But never seen her bare.

Hmmm.... not all that funny and not all that clean.

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white and wispy.
One day, along came foot-and-mouth,
And now it's black and crispy....

When Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
But when Macdonald had a farm
You should have seen his eyes!

Mary had a little lamb
The farmer shot it dead
Now Mary takes that lamb to school
Between two hunks of bread

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
And when the little lamb got out
The sheepdog tried to put it back again.

The old ones are the best.... IGMC

Hey diddle diddle the cat did a piddle
all over the kitchen floor.
The little dog laughed to see so much,
so the cat did a little bit more.