Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
There are lots of unclean jokes here but none are nasty, racist etc
Plus One!
Plus One!
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I was driving my old volkswagen beetle when it broke down. Opened the bonnet, saw that the engine had fallen out
Soon a kindly old lady in another beetle stopped to help. I explained what had happened
- No problem, I have a spare engine in the boot!, she said
THAT is a clean joke
Might be best not to ask at a vw dealer, the lad at the counter asserted the beetle was first made in 1998 %#)
Soon a kindly old lady in another beetle stopped to help. I explained what had happened
- No problem, I have a spare engine in the boot!, she said
THAT is a clean joke
Might be best not to ask at a vw dealer, the lad at the counter asserted the beetle was first made in 1998 %#)
Last edited by Cyril Haearn on 5 Aug 2018, 8:08pm, edited 2 times in total.
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
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- Joined: 8 Dec 2012, 6:08pm
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I had a taxi home last night, the driver pulled up outside our house and said 'that'll be £11 please'
I said 'I've only got a tenner, can you reverse a bit please?'
I said 'I've only got a tenner, can you reverse a bit please?'
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Batman is taking a shower in the Bat Hroom.
"Robin, pass me the Bat Scrub." Robin gives Batman the Bat Scrub.
"Robin, pass me the Bat Soap." Robin gives Batman the Bat Soap.
"Robin, pass me the Bat Shampoo". Robin gives Batman the Bat Shampoo.
"Robin, pass me ..."
Robin interrupts. "I've had enough of this. Bat Scrub, Bat Soap, Bat Shampoo. You even call it the Bat Hroom. Why does everything have to be Bat?"
"You're being ridiculous Robin, it's not Bat Everything. Now pass me that bottle of Conditioner Gordon."
"Robin, pass me the Bat Scrub." Robin gives Batman the Bat Scrub.
"Robin, pass me the Bat Soap." Robin gives Batman the Bat Soap.
"Robin, pass me the Bat Shampoo". Robin gives Batman the Bat Shampoo.
"Robin, pass me ..."
Robin interrupts. "I've had enough of this. Bat Scrub, Bat Soap, Bat Shampoo. You even call it the Bat Hroom. Why does everything have to be Bat?"
"You're being ridiculous Robin, it's not Bat Everything. Now pass me that bottle of Conditioner Gordon."
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
philvantwo wrote:I had a taxi home last night, the driver pulled up outside our house and said 'that'll be £11 please'
I said 'I've only got a tenner, can you reverse a bit please?'
-Mum, may I have a quid for a bus ticket into town?
-Sorry love, I only have a fiver
-No problem, I shall get a taxi
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
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- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Grandad: now we must put the climbing frame away for the winter
Grandchild: NO, we must put you away for the winter!
Grandchild: NO, we must put you away for the winter!
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
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- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I want more cycling jokes and puns please
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I was out riding today when I saw a chap throwing blue bottles over a wall. I asked what he was doing....
Fly tipping!
Fly tipping!
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
The Mrs has got her sexy underwear on today, this can only mean one thing...............
She's behind with the washing!
She's behind with the washing!
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Sadly, the inventor of predictive text has passed away.
His funfair will be a weed on monkey.
His funfair will be a weed on monkey.
Cycling UK Life Member
PBP Ancien (2007)
PBP Ancien (2007)
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Not a joke, but a true story:
Emilien Amaury, the press baron, sometime Minister for Colonies, Pétainiste chief of propaganda, founder of l'Equipe newspaper and original owner of the Tour de France, died in 1977 after being thrown by his horse. One of his favourite sayings was "News need not be exact but it must be shocking".
Charlie Hébdo's headline: "A swine is dead".
Libération's: "The horse is OK".
Emilien Amaury, the press baron, sometime Minister for Colonies, Pétainiste chief of propaganda, founder of l'Equipe newspaper and original owner of the Tour de France, died in 1977 after being thrown by his horse. One of his favourite sayings was "News need not be exact but it must be shocking".
Charlie Hébdo's headline: "A swine is dead".
Libération's: "The horse is OK".
Have we got time for another cuppa?
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
This joke is clean, right?
Alaska is much too big, there are plans to split it into two States, East and West
Texas protested strongly because this would make the lonestar state only the third biggest in the Union
Alaska is much too big, there are plans to split it into two States, East and West
Texas protested strongly because this would make the lonestar state only the third biggest in the Union
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Cyril Haearn wrote:I want more cycling jokes and puns please
Careful, you might get limericks.
“In some ways, it is easier to be a dissident, for then one is without responsibility.”
― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I've joined the Chinese Whispers Club
The first rule is that you don't talk about Chinese Whisper Club
The second rule is that chew drink & walk around Viennese sisters pub
The first rule is that you don't talk about Chinese Whisper Club
The second rule is that chew drink & walk around Viennese sisters pub
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Vitara wrote:I've joined the Chinese Whispers Club
The first rule is that you don't talk about Chinese Whisper Club
The second rule is that chew drink & walk around Viennese sisters pub
I wish I could do 'likes'.