Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

[kwackers]

[mercalia]

[mercalia]

[Stradageek]

Seen on the back of a van today, two A4 sheets:

On the first

THIS VIRUS SUCKS

On the second

I WANTED ZOMBIES

[mercalia]

Banksy





https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2020/apr/16/banksy-reveals-pest-problem-in-new-lockdown-artwork?

[Debs]

My recent attempt to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes has made me a laughing stock.

[mercalia]

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
What lies quivering at the bottom of an ocean? A nervous wreck
Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin
Where does Tarzan buy his trousers? A jungle sale
What did baby corn say to mummy corn? Where's popcorn?
What country has a good appetite? Hungary

What does a snowman eat for breakfast? Snowflakes
What is a sheep with no arms or legs? A cloud
What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate clauses
What is Rudolph's favourite day of the year? Red Nose Day
How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code
What did the shy pebble say to the bigger pebble? I wish I was a little boulder

( I found these on my old pocket pc from 2006 - maybe I should have left them there? )

[Tardyrover]

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot..................a carrot

[mercalia]

[kwackers]

[RickH]

[philvantwo]

If a fart can get through underwear and a pair of jeans, how can a homemade mask made of cloth save you from covid 19?

[mercalia]

Capture.JPG (12.15 KiB) Viewed 494 times

[Oldjohnw]

The Trump thread appears to have been closed down so I am placing this here:

He's so stupid.

He's so breathtakingly stupid that the above statement is all it takes for every person reading this to know exactly who I'm talking about.

[cycleruk]