Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
What is black and white and red all over?
..
The labour party! It includes black people and white people, and is somewhat left of centre
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The labour party! It includes black people and white people, and is somewhat left of centre
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Debs wrote:
Love it!
(hmmm, four circles, Fab Four … )
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
How to get a seat on the london tube?
just start coughing
( not pc though)
just start coughing
( not pc though)
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Saw this one recently
Former member of the Cult of the Polystyrene Head Carbuncle.
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- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
A yob drove his vehicle into the back of Ebenezers Granada
'Haven't you taken a driving test?' bleated the old gent
'I bet I have taken more driving tests than you' whimpered the yob
'Haven't you taken a driving test?' bleated the old gent
'I bet I have taken more driving tests than you' whimpered the yob
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
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- Joined: 8 Dec 2012, 6:08pm
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- Posts: 290
- Joined: 4 Oct 2015, 1:32pm
- Location: Argyll
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Went to the docters recently and he told me my suger was high.............so i went home and put it on a lower shelf
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Mike Sales wrote:661-Pete wrote:I'm afraid that's one of the old classics that doesn't work when written. The other one I know is, "what's brown and smelly and comes out of cow[e]s backwards...?". Are there any others like that?mattheus wrote:What is black and white and red all over?
What's a Greek urn (earn) ?
How do you find WIll Smith if it's snowing?
Follow the Fresh Prince!
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- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
'What have we got in the diary this week?', asked the boss
The secretary had a look: 'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,.. Thursday and Friday', he bleated
The secretary had a look: 'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,.. Thursday and Friday', he bleated
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Missus: What's all this crud on the shopping-list?
Me: Well you told me to put mustard on it.
Me: Well you told me to put mustard on it.
Have we got time for another cuppa?
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
A bloke down the road from us has 2 Porsches, a Ferrari, a Jag, 3 Fords and an old Mini Metro.
We suspect he has the car owner virus.
We suspect he has the car owner virus.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
An oldie this one, attributed to various dramatists....
A particularly truculent theatre critic, much given to lambasting Noel Coward's work, was furious at not being sent complimentary tickets to Coward's new production. He sent Coward a wire saying "Was most disappointed not to be invited to your First Night. Expect tickets to your Second Night - if you have a Second Night..."
Coward promptly replied "So sorry you were not able to attend our First Night. I am sending you two tickets to our Second Night, for yourself and a friend - if you have a friend..."
A particularly truculent theatre critic, much given to lambasting Noel Coward's work, was furious at not being sent complimentary tickets to Coward's new production. He sent Coward a wire saying "Was most disappointed not to be invited to your First Night. Expect tickets to your Second Night - if you have a Second Night..."
Coward promptly replied "So sorry you were not able to attend our First Night. I am sending you two tickets to our Second Night, for yourself and a friend - if you have a friend..."
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
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- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
He brought two friends, paid full price for the second
His review was full of double-entendres
'When I checked my watch at ten o'clock, it was just gone nine'
His review was full of double-entendres
'When I checked my watch at ten o'clock, it was just gone nine'
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Old man of 101 been here since 1966 wants to get confirmation he can stay after Brexit. Home Office replies - Please get your parents to confirm your age
http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/feb/12/home-office-tells-man-101-his-parents-must-confirm-id
http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/feb/12/home-office-tells-man-101-his-parents-must-confirm-id