Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

[jezer]

I don’t trust stairs, they’re always up to something.

[Debs]

I've just seen a dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!

[fausto copy]

With apologies to sensitive Yorkshiremen obviously.

[Debs]

The Pope and Donald Trump are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Donald and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?
This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Donald replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand…Show me!"

So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!

AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout the land!

[Cowsham]

The Pope and Donald Trump are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Donald and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?
This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Donald replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand…Show me!"

So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!

AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout the land!

[Debs]

I’m presently reading a fascinating book about anti-gravity. i just cant put it down!

[Chris56]

Courtesy of Planet Rock yesterday:

What do you call a Magician who can't do magic tricks anymore?....


.......Ian!

[CyclingGuy]

I went out for a ride today and some idiot threw a bottle of Omega-3 capsules at me......

Fortunately I only sustained super fish oil injuries.

[mercalia]

[kwackers]

Seems fair.

[mercalia]

since I found a daily mail online app for my phone I have been reading a few of their stories. Some are really good entertainment take this one about North Korea

North Koreans are ordered to hand over 'decadent and bourgeois' pet dogs for 'restaurant meat' as the country is rocked by food shortages

Dictator Kim Jong-un announced in July that owning a pet is now against the law
Authorities are identifying homes with dogs in Pyongyang and rounding them up
Some of the dogs are sent to state-run zoos or sold to dog meat restaurants


warning some rather un appetising pictures
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8634831/North-Koreans-ordered-hand-pet-dogs-killed-meat-country-hit-food-shortages.html

[Cyril Haearn]

One could hardly make it up, part 42

Just heard a plan for a dog law in Germany, dogkeepers are to be obliged to excersize their beasts twice a day for at least an hour in total
Whatabout lazy dogs?

[kwackers]

Whatabout lazy dogs?

In the human/canine relationship I'm a lot less worried about the dogs.

[mercalia]

[peetee]

One could hardly make it up, part 42

Just heard a plan for a dog law in Germany, dogkeepers are to be obliged to excersize their beasts twice a day for at least an hour in total
Whatabout lazy dogs?

Lazy dogs are invariably products of lazy owners.