Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
seems like the UK vaccine regresses humans to chimps
For its lead, the Times says an investigation by the paper has exposed a Russian disinformation campaign designed to undermine and spread fear about the vaccine being developed at Oxford University.
According to the paper, the crude theme is that the vaccine could turn people into monkeys because it uses a chimpanzee virus as a vector.
In response, the Russian embassy tells the paper the suggestion that Moscow would conduct any kind of propaganda against the vaccine is itself an example of disinformation - and obviously aimed at discrediting Russia's efforts in combating the pandemic.
For its lead, the Times says an investigation by the paper has exposed a Russian disinformation campaign designed to undermine and spread fear about the vaccine being developed at Oxford University.
According to the paper, the crude theme is that the vaccine could turn people into monkeys because it uses a chimpanzee virus as a vector.
In response, the Russian embassy tells the paper the suggestion that Moscow would conduct any kind of propaganda against the vaccine is itself an example of disinformation - and obviously aimed at discrediting Russia's efforts in combating the pandemic.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
would explain a lot about Trump
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
................ but chimpanzees aren't monkeys.
Mick F. Cornwall
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I phoned in sick today and a suspicious sounding boss asked why I was only ever sick on weekdays.
I told him it was my weekend immune system.
(It's OK, I am a dad.)
I told him it was my weekend immune system.
(It's OK, I am a dad.)
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Frank the farmer had a nagging wife. She made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field ploughing.
One day while in the field, Frank’s wife brought him his lunch.
While he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Frank’s old donkey kicked up his back legs, struck her in the head killing her instantly.
At the funeral, the Priest noticed that when the women offered their sympathy, Frank would nod his head up and down.
But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
After the mourners left, the Priest approached Frank and asked, “Why did you nod your head up and down to all the women and shook from side to side to all the men?”
Well, Frank replied, “The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down.
And all the men asked, “Is that donkey for sale?”
One day while in the field, Frank’s wife brought him his lunch.
While he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Frank’s old donkey kicked up his back legs, struck her in the head killing her instantly.
At the funeral, the Priest noticed that when the women offered their sympathy, Frank would nod his head up and down.
But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
After the mourners left, the Priest approached Frank and asked, “Why did you nod your head up and down to all the women and shook from side to side to all the men?”
Well, Frank replied, “The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down.
And all the men asked, “Is that donkey for sale?”
You'll never know if you don't try it.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
cycleruk wrote:Frank the farmer had a nagging wife. She made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field ploughing.
One day while in the field, Frank’s wife brought him his lunch.
While he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Frank’s old donkey kicked up his back legs, struck her in the head killing her instantly.
At the funeral, the Priest noticed that when the women offered their sympathy, Frank would nod his head up and down.
But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
After the mourners left, the Priest approached Frank and asked, “Why did you nod your head up and down to all the women and shook from side to side to all the men?”
Well, Frank replied, “The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down.
And all the men asked, “Is that donkey for sale?”
I am here. Where are you?
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Boris Johnson?
One causes starving miners, the other causes starving minors.
One causes starving miners, the other causes starving minors.
-
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- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
How does a policeperson get around?
She drives a Kia Proceed
She drives a Kia Proceed
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
- bigbloke
- Posts: 149
- Joined: 13 Apr 2010, 8:15am
- Location: Upon my saddle! - in South Wales or wherever work takes me this week
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
As the Xmas party Season approaches, but public toilets are increasingly unavailable,a new online
resource has been established, offering advice for those "Caught short" at the last minute.
weebyanycar.com
resource has been established, offering advice for those "Caught short" at the last minute.
weebyanycar.com
-
- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Drivers were asked which kind of gearbox they preferred
44% preferred manual
29% preferred automatic
..
I deduce that 27% of mortons did not understand the question :(
A bit sickening maybe, but somehow funny too
44% preferred manual
29% preferred automatic
..
I deduce that 27% of mortons did not understand the question :(
A bit sickening maybe, but somehow funny too
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Cyril Haearn wrote:Drivers were asked which kind of gearbox they preferred
44% preferred manual
29% preferred automatic
..
I deduce that 27% of mortons did not understand the question
A bit sickening maybe, but somehow funny too
27% indicated no preference?
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Syd wrote:Cyril Haearn wrote:Drivers were asked which kind of gearbox they preferred
44% preferred manual
29% preferred automatic
..
I deduce that 27% of mortons did not understand the question
A bit sickening maybe, but somehow funny too
27% indicated no preference?
Perhaps they preferred EV's - I mean in a classical (and pedantic) sense EV's don't have a gearbox.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Well, it's you accusing yourself...
: - )
... but I don't think that's pedantic. And it's mostly accurate, although the Taycan has a two-speed transmission for the rear wheels but not the front! That's either for very interesting engineering reasons
https://www.peakresources.com.au/news/an-extremely-detailed-look-at-the-porsche-taycans-engineering-designed-to-take-on-tesla/
or for marketing...
Jonathan
: - )
... but I don't think that's pedantic. And it's mostly accurate, although the Taycan has a two-speed transmission for the rear wheels but not the front! That's either for very interesting engineering reasons
https://www.peakresources.com.au/news/an-extremely-detailed-look-at-the-porsche-taycans-engineering-designed-to-take-on-tesla/
or for marketing...
Jonathan