Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

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peetee
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by peetee »

If he came off the bike head first he’d just keep sliding.
The older I get the more I’m inclined to act my shoe size, not my age.
reohn2
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by reohn2 »

Wilhelmus wrote: 6 Nov 2021, 3:32pm Watching Ireland and Japan playing rugby just now, my wife said she thought Japan would never get Honda scoreboard. OK, you had to be there.
Ya ma hahaha
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Wilhelmus
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Wilhelmus »

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Last edited by Wilhelmus on 25 Nov 2021, 2:09pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Cowsham
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cowsham »

peetee wrote: 8 Nov 2021, 10:40am If he came off the bike head first he’d just keep sliding.
:D
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Wilhelmus
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Wilhelmus »

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Last edited by Wilhelmus on 25 Nov 2021, 2:10pm, edited 1 time in total.
Mike Sales
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Mike Sales »

Wilhelmus wrote: 8 Nov 2021, 3:36pm Logging in to Yahoo to check your emails, you get presented with all sorts of 'news' stories. One of today's choicer items is the one about President Biden allegedly breaking wind in the presence of the Duchess of Cornwall. So the question is, did the president trump?
There is an old story in which Ronald Reagan was visiting England and travelling in a horse drawn coach with the Queen. They were smiling and waving to the crowds when one of the horses broke wind violently and the two were forced to continue acknowledging the crowds with wrinkled noses enduring a terrible smell.

“I do apologise Mr President” said the Queen to which Reagan replied: “That’s quite alright your majesty, I thought it was the horse.”

/quote]
It's the same the whole world over
It's the poor what gets the blame
It's the rich what gets the pleasure
Isn't it a blooming shame?
philvantwo
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by philvantwo »

56506.jpg
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Cowsham
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cowsham »

philvantwo wrote: 30 Nov 2021, 3:29pm 56506.jpg
:lol: :lol: :lol:
and get a free dose of covid-19 from the last guy to press it.
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reohn2
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by reohn2 »

I often think just how technical a species we've become,but I also realise when watching this channel on YT just how stupid we can be,sometimes it concerns me deeply for the people involved and those that cause such mayhem,but most of the time I find it hilarious:- https://youtu.be/TPZCEExKW34
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661-Pete
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by 661-Pete »

philvantwo wrote: 30 Nov 2021, 3:29pm 56506.jpg
There are a number of variants of that meme:
Image
Graffiti or Photoshop? Can't tell. Anyway, a shame to insult Greta in that way.

Any chance we can have some actual jokes on this thread?
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Debs
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

On Saturday morning, a roadie gets up early, as he has for so many Saturday morning rides, and softly slips out of the bedroom.

He dresses quietly in the next room, grabs his helmet and water bottles, and goes out to pump the tires. As the garage door opens, he’s confronted by an icy, windswept rain.

He’s ridden before in these conditions. He doesn’t like it, but when it’s Saturday morning he never misses. He ponders the dismal conditions and then retreats to the kitchen to tune a small TV to the Weather Channel.

The forecast only sounds worse. This is one Saturday when he just can’t summon the determination.

With a sigh, he slips off his shoes, quietly returns to the bedroom, undresses and slips back into bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife’s back and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.”

To which she sleepily replies, “Can you believe my husband went riding in that crap?”
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Cowsham
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cowsham »

Debs wrote: 7 Dec 2021, 11:18pm On Saturday morning, a roadie gets up early, as he has for so many Saturday morning rides, and softly slips out of the bedroom.

He dresses quietly in the next room, grabs his helmet and water bottles, and goes out to pump the tires. As the garage door opens, he’s confronted by an icy, windswept rain.

He’s ridden before in these conditions. He doesn’t like it, but when it’s Saturday morning he never misses. He ponders the dismal conditions and then retreats to the kitchen to tune a small TV to the Weather Channel.

The forecast only sounds worse. This is one Saturday when he just can’t summon the determination.

With a sigh, he slips off his shoes, quietly returns to the bedroom, undresses and slips back into bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife’s back and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.”

To which she sleepily replies, “Can you believe my husband went riding in that crap?”
:lol:
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Debs
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

I yelled "COW!" ...at a woman on a bicycle yesterday.

She sneered at me and gave me the finger, then rode straight into the cow …
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cycleruk
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by cycleruk »

windows chat.jpg
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Slowtwitch
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Slowtwitch »

A man walks into a bar. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling on hooks. He asks the barman “what’s with the meat?”

The barman says, “Its this months challenge. If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else’s drinks for the rest of the evening. Wanna give it a go?”

The man takes another look at the meat, and says, “I think I’ll give it a miss. The steaks are too high.”
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