Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Spot on about Startrek? When they land on an alien planet the one crew member who has to die is always wearing the red uniform top
Hard on LFC & ManU fans! Live long and prosper. MM
* My daughter has a garden ornament playing on that fact.
Hard on LFC & ManU fans! Live long and prosper. MM
* My daughter has a garden ornament playing on that fact.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
It was always in black and white in our house.merseymouth wrote:Spot on about Startrek? When they land on an alien planet the one crew member who has to die is always wearing the red uniform top
Mick F. Cornwall
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Hi
He'd have been the one behind the blue uniforms...or was that a snooker commentary from Ted Lowe?
Regards
tim-b
Mick F wrote:It was always in black and white in our house.merseymouth wrote:Spot on about Startrek? When they land on an alien planet the one crew member who has to die is always wearing the red uniform top
He'd have been the one behind the blue uniforms...or was that a snooker commentary from Ted Lowe?
Regards
tim-b
~~~~¯\(ツ)/¯~~~~
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
tim-b wrote:He'd have been the one behind the blue uniforms...or was that a snooker commentary from Ted Lowe?
Regards
tim-b
Yep, he famously said: "and for those of you who are watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green.""
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Q. What’s bordering on the ridiculous?
A. Scotland and Wales.
A. Scotland and Wales.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Debs wrote:Q. What’s bordering on the ridiculous?
A. Scotland and Wales.
How true or should that be
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"All we are not stares back at what we are"
W H Auden
"All we are not stares back at what we are"
W H Auden
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Poor Wales, so far from God and so close to England.
(I have pinched that from Porfirio Diaz, President of Mexico)
(I have pinched that from Porfirio Diaz, President of Mexico)
It's the same the whole world over
It's the poor what gets the blame
It's the rich what gets the pleasure
Isn't it a blooming shame?
It's the poor what gets the blame
It's the rich what gets the pleasure
Isn't it a blooming shame?
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
mercalia wrote:Capture.JPG
Kirk had exceptional hearing.
In addition to the normal left and right ears, he also had THE FINAL FRONT EAR!
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
jimlews wrote:Kirk had exceptional hearing.
In addition to the normal left and right ears, he also had THE FINAL FRONT EAR!
Gosh, I haven't heard that one since the 1950s (in those days it was Davy Crockett, king of the wild front ear).
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Then there's Scottish Star Trek (language alert):- https://youtu.be/lCrldZnuGi8
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"All we are not stares back at what we are"
W H Auden
"All we are not stares back at what we are"
W H Auden
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
reohn2 wrote:Then there's Scottish Star Trek (language alert):- https://youtu.be/lCrldZnuGi8
Despite living in Scotland for years I had trouble with that. Turning on the autogen subtitles didn't help:
"...in 60 seconds nipple courtship if you surrender conditions to us"
Have we got time for another cuppa?
- Pastychomper
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- Location: Caithness
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Mike Sales wrote:Poor Wales, so far from God and so close to England.
(I have pinched that from Porfirio Diaz, President of Mexico)
Reminds me of the comment by Thomas More in A man for all seasons: "It profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world ... but for Wales?"
(I don't know if he considered Wales to be of low value, perhaps he simply recognised that no Englishman could ever truly rule the Welsh, making the other man's title worthless).
Everyone's ghast should get a good flabbering now and then.
--Ole Boot
--Ole Boot
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Audi parts dealerships were due to stay closed for the foreseeable but all their customers just put their foot down.
The older I get the more I’m inclined to act my shoe size, not my age.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
...and there aren't any indications that BMW dealers will re-open
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
kylecycler wrote:What has six wheels and flies?
A bin lorry.
I am here. Where are you?