Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Use this board for general non-cycling-related chat, or to introduce yourself to the forum.
colin54
Posts: 1486
Joined: 24 Sep 2013, 4:34pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby colin54 » 23 Nov 2020, 6:42pm

Isn't the nom joke from the Phnom's Penh originally ?

pete75
Posts: 13647
Joined: 24 Jul 2007, 2:37pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby pete75 » 24 Nov 2020, 3:18pm

Image

Image

kwackers
Posts: 15256
Joined: 4 Jun 2008, 9:29pm
Location: Warrington

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby kwackers » 25 Nov 2020, 9:12am

127545346_155543942945421_1890212253197506786_n.jpg

mercalia
Posts: 14578
Joined: 22 Sep 2013, 10:03pm
Location: london South

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby mercalia » 25 Nov 2020, 10:59am

seems like there is a mink-zombie apocalypse in Dennark is it where they killed and buried 3m underground 17m covid-minks. According to LBC a few minutes ago they are rising from the dead. They are so bloated with gases as corpses tend to do they are rising to the surface of the ground. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :shock: :? Must be a shocking site

mercalia
Posts: 14578
Joined: 22 Sep 2013, 10:03pm
Location: london South

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby mercalia » 25 Nov 2020, 11:34am

Capture.JPG

mercalia
Posts: 14578
Joined: 22 Sep 2013, 10:03pm
Location: london South

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby mercalia » 25 Nov 2020, 9:52pm

here is the story about the Zombie Covid-Minks rising from the grave

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8985681/Denmark-coronavirus-Zombie-minks-rise-grave-decomposing-bodies-swell.html

and many Cambridge studants become the butt of many jokes

Seat of learning! Cheeky Cambridge students bare all as they pose naked on rooftops, in the street and even in the library in battle for 'best bum'


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8985957/Bottoms-Cheeky-Cambridge-students-pose-naked-battle-best-bum.html

Debs
Posts: 850
Joined: 19 May 2017, 7:05pm
Location: Powys

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Debs » 25 Nov 2020, 10:56pm

mercalia wrote:Capture.JPG


A few days ago i received a letter, addressed to 'The householder'.

It was written in a green hand writing style print and contained an inviting message about "The Kingdom of God"... Wow! at first i thought it was from Boris at number 10 Downing Street, but no it was actually from the friendly neighbourhood JWs who have taken to writing letters because they're not allowed to knock on doors during this covid crisis.

and just to keep on topic:

I have one of those JW advent calendars, every time i open a door on it i see someone telling me to F*** Off!

pete75
Posts: 13647
Joined: 24 Jul 2007, 2:37pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby pete75 » 26 Nov 2020, 10:03am

Debs wrote:
I have one of those JW advent calendars, every time i open a door on it i see someone telling me to F*** Off!


As opposed to an Eton advent calendar. Just the same as a normal one except your father's contacts open the doors for you.

mercalia
Posts: 14578
Joined: 22 Sep 2013, 10:03pm
Location: london South

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby mercalia » 26 Nov 2020, 12:09pm

pete75 wrote:
Debs wrote:
I have one of those JW advent calendars, every time i open a door on it i see someone telling me to F*** Off!


As opposed to an Eton advent calendar. Just the same as a normal one except your father's contacts open the doors for you.


or a tory one the days to finally Brexit

Debs
Posts: 850
Joined: 19 May 2017, 7:05pm
Location: Powys

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Debs » 26 Nov 2020, 12:26pm

pete75 wrote:As opposed to an Eton advent calendar. Just the same as a normal one except your father's contacts open the doors for you.


My father went to Eton College.
They said that during his stay there he worked diligently and with great enthusiasm. He also exhibited masterful abilities with communication skills that successfully brought about marvellous improvements to the way in which the College could gain important contacts from all over the world.
Anyway, after the half an hour it took my Dad to repair the Eton College telephone switchboard, he collected up his tools, got back in his van and drove back to the GPO depot :wink:

User avatar
fausto copy
Posts: 2684
Joined: 14 Dec 2008, 6:51pm
Location: Pembrokeshire

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby fausto copy » 26 Nov 2020, 6:44pm

He was a much cleverer man than me then Debs.
I could never follow the circuit diagram of those switchboards and failed one training course because of it.
However, sat in the toilets consoling myself, I notice one joke (witticism) scrawled on the adjacent wall.
It's the only one I can ever remember (even 50 years later) but, as expected, it's too rude to reveal on here. :roll:

mercalia
Posts: 14578
Joined: 22 Sep 2013, 10:03pm
Location: london South

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby mercalia » 26 Nov 2020, 10:40pm

Capture.JPG

Oldjohnw
Posts: 5771
Joined: 16 Oct 2018, 4:23am
Location: Northumberland

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Oldjohnw » 29 Nov 2020, 7:48pm

A version of the start of A Take of Two Cities, based around two newspapers:

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.
John

Cyril Haearn
Posts: 14917
Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Location: Railway Cuttings East, Leafy Suburbia

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Cyril Haearn » 29 Nov 2020, 8:17pm

Oldjohnw wrote:A version of the start of A Take of Two Cities, based around two newspapers:

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

Is that a joke or a pun?
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies

Jdsk
Posts: 5230
Joined: 5 Mar 2019, 5:42pm

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Jdsk » 29 Nov 2020, 8:20pm

Do you think of those as being disjunct?

Jonathan