Cyril was late for school. Again. The history teacher called his mother
'Sorry, indeed', she bleated, 'he just lost the second world war, he has gone to buy an exercise book so he can start a new one again'
Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Entertainer, kidult, curmudgeon
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
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- Posts: 3522
- Joined: 7 Mar 2009, 3:31pm
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Johnny was late for school again.
"My father got burnt, Miss."
"Oh dear, not badly I hope."
"They don't mess about at the crematorium, Miss."
"My father got burnt, Miss."
"Oh dear, not badly I hope."
"They don't mess about at the crematorium, Miss."
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
'Dear teacher, Bryn has such a bad throat, he can hardly speak Welsh. Please to excuse him from the French lesson'
Entertainer, kidult, curmudgeon
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Uncle Ebenezer was called up for military service
An un-fortunate brain injury enabled him to go home and take up politricks
An un-fortunate brain injury enabled him to go home and take up politricks
Entertainer, kidult, curmudgeon
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Mike Sales wrote:Johnny was late for school again.
"My father got burnt, Miss."
"Oh dear, not badly I hope."
"They don't mess about at the crematorium, Miss."
Next day, Tommy was late for school.
"My father fell off a scaffold this morning."
"Oh dear! What a nasty accident! Did he get badly hurt? And what was he doing up there?"
"Getting hanged."
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
661-Pete wrote:Mike Sales wrote:Johnny was late for school again.
"My father got burnt, Miss."
"Oh dear, not badly I hope."
"They don't mess about at the crematorium, Miss."
Next day, Tommy was late for school.
"My father fell off a scaffold this morning."
"Oh dear! What a nasty accident! Did he get badly hurt? And what was he doing up there?"
"Getting hanged."
That would have been treated as a signal from the Lord that he should be spared, +1!
Entertainer, kidult, curmudgeon
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
If he hadn't had that rope round his neck he might have got his leg broken.
Have we got time for another cuppa?
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
If you Google; “Lost medieval servant boy”
It says; “This Page cannot be found”
It says; “This Page cannot be found”
- fausto copy
- Posts: 2494
- Joined: 14 Dec 2008, 6:51pm
- Location: Pembrokeshire
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Quite apt Deb, as this was your post number 404.

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
fausto copy wrote::roll:
Quite apt Deb, as this was your post number 404.
Well spotted Sir!!
Cycling UK Life Member
PBP Ancien (2007)
PBP Ancien (2007)
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
What might one call a driver who went a bit too far off the road in the cotswolds?
..
Motron in the Marsh!
..
Motron in the Marsh!

Entertainer, kidult, curmudgeon
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Uncle Ebenezer took the lads to see an opera
'Why is the conductor threatening the musicians with a stick?', asked Bryn
'No, he is directing them and setting the rhythm' whispered Ebenezer, 'look, the soprano is about to start singing!'
'But why is that lady screeching so, is she in pain?', bleated Cyril a few moments later
'Why is the conductor threatening the musicians with a stick?', asked Bryn
'No, he is directing them and setting the rhythm' whispered Ebenezer, 'look, the soprano is about to start singing!'
'But why is that lady screeching so, is she in pain?', bleated Cyril a few moments later
Entertainer, kidult, curmudgeon
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
At the LBS
Me: 'I should like a bell for my bike'
The shopkeeper looked at my bike for a moment
'That would be a fair swop', she bleated
Me: 'I should like a bell for my bike'
The shopkeeper looked at my bike for a moment
'That would be a fair swop', she bleated
Last edited by brynpoeth on 5 Aug 2019, 6:21pm, edited 1 time in total.
Entertainer, kidult, curmudgeon
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we love life
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
brynpoeth wrote:'No, he is directing them and setting the rhythm' whispered Ebenezer, 'look, the soprano is about to start singing!'
'But why is that lady screeching so, is she in pain?', bleated Cyril a few moments later
Oh dear you've set me off now! Sorry I can't help but post this:

Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
How many grammar Nazi's does it take to change a light bulb?
Too.
Too.