Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

[brynpoeth]

Cyril was late for school. Again. The history teacher called his mother
'Sorry, indeed', she bleated, 'he just lost the second world war, he has gone to buy an exercise book so he can start a new one again'

[Mike Sales]

Johnny was late for school again.
"My father got burnt, Miss."
"Oh dear, not badly I hope."
"They don't mess about at the crematorium, Miss."

[brynpoeth]

'Dear teacher, Bryn has such a bad throat, he can hardly speak Welsh. Please to excuse him from the French lesson'

[brynpoeth]

Uncle Ebenezer was called up for military service
An un-fortunate brain injury enabled him to go home and take up politricks

[661-Pete]

Johnny was late for school again.
"My father got burnt, Miss."
"Oh dear, not badly I hope."
"They don't mess about at the crematorium, Miss."

Next day, Tommy was late for school.
"My father fell off a scaffold this morning."
"Oh dear! What a nasty accident! Did he get badly hurt? And what was he doing up there?"
"Getting hanged."

[brynpoeth]

Johnny was late for school again.
"My father got burnt, Miss."
"Oh dear, not badly I hope."
"They don't mess about at the crematorium, Miss."

Next day, Tommy was late for school.
"My father fell off a scaffold this morning."
"Oh dear! What a nasty accident! Did he get badly hurt? And what was he doing up there?"
"Getting hanged."

That would have been treated as a signal from the Lord that he should be spared, +1!

[Audax67]

If he hadn't had that rope round his neck he might have got his leg broken.

[Debs]

If you Google; “Lost medieval servant boy”

It says; “This Page cannot be found”

[fausto copy]

Quite apt Deb, as this was your post number 404.

[Spinners]

:roll:
Quite apt Deb, as this was your post number 404.

Well spotted Sir!!

[brynpoeth]

What might one call a driver who went a bit too far off the road in the cotswolds?
..
Motron in the Marsh!

[brynpoeth]

Uncle Ebenezer took the lads to see an opera
'Why is the conductor threatening the musicians with a stick?', asked Bryn
'No, he is directing them and setting the rhythm' whispered Ebenezer, 'look, the soprano is about to start singing!'
'But why is that lady screeching so, is she in pain?', bleated Cyril a few moments later

[brynpoeth]

At the LBS
Me: 'I should like a bell for my bike'
The shopkeeper looked at my bike for a moment
'That would be a fair swop', she bleated

[661-Pete]

'No, he is directing them and setting the rhythm' whispered Ebenezer, 'look, the soprano is about to start singing!'
'But why is that lady screeching so, is she in pain?', bleated Cyril a few moments later

Oh dear you've set me off now! Sorry I can't help but post this:

[kwackers]

How many grammar Nazi's does it take to change a light bulb?

Too.