Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

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661-Pete
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby 661-Pete » 15 Sep 2019, 8:30pm

Apparently this same toilet was offered as a gift to Mr Trump when he visited the place. He declined. He said he'd got one already.
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
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100%JR
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby 100%JR » 15 Sep 2019, 10:02pm

An Englishman,Irishman,Scotsman and Welshman walk into a bar.
The Englishman wants to leave....so they all have to.
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Spinners
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Spinners » 15 Sep 2019, 10:09pm

My pet mouse Elvis has died... he was caught in a trap.
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Pastychomper
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Pastychomper » 18 Sep 2019, 4:14pm

"What's a Grecian urn?", I asked the antiques dealer.

"About a thousand Euros a month," came the reply.
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Mick F
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Mick F » 18 Sep 2019, 4:28pm

Spinners wrote:My pet mouse Elvis has died... he was caught in a trap.
Was he wearing blue suede shoes?
Mick F. Cornwall

Debs
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Debs » 19 Sep 2019, 3:05am

Image

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661-Pete
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby 661-Pete » 19 Sep 2019, 5:14pm

Debs wrote:Image
Venn did you dig that one up, then?
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).

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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Debs » 20 Sep 2019, 1:18am

661-Pete wrote:Venn did you dig that one up, then?


It was venn i was in my local bank with my DJ friend, and while we waited in the queue and listening to this preacher give a sermon, these bank robbers suddenly came busting in :D

Alternative answer below:

borrowed off another forum :wink:

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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby brynpoeth » 21 Sep 2019, 1:07pm

Debs wrote:Image

Please to post more Venn diagrams (had them at school), showing how people belong to several different groups
The Dahrendorf House is another good one, shows the structure and classes of society
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Debs » 21 Sep 2019, 4:48pm

This one is quite funny :D

Image

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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Debs » 21 Sep 2019, 4:53pm

Mom inclusive Venn upgrade:

Image

brynpoeth
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby brynpoeth » 30 Sep 2019, 7:59am

Maths lesson
'Bryn, imagine you have ten €uros, Cyril takes three of them, what would be the result?', asked the teacher

'I should be very angry with the little @#%&!, bleated Bryn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby brynpoeth » 1 Oct 2019, 1:43pm

A couple from trumpland were staying in Berlin for a conference, the wife had an evening meeting, the hubby had some free time so he decided to go for a walk
He carefully noted the name of the street where they were staying, and set off

After a couple of hours he decided it was time to go back so he stopped a stranger and asked if she knew the way to..

'Einbahnstrasse'
(one-way street) :?
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kwackers
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby kwackers » 1 Oct 2019, 1:52pm

brynpoeth wrote:A couple from trumpland were staying in Berlin for a conference, the wife had an evening meeting, the hubby had some free time so he decided to go for a walk
He carefully noted the name of the street where they were staying, and set off

After a couple of hours he decided it was time to go back so he stopped a stranger and asked if she knew the way to..

'Einbahnstrasse'
(one-way street) :?

First time I went to France, after a couple of hours on the autoroute I remember thinking how well signposted Sortie was (it must be a big place)...

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Spinners
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Postby Spinners » 1 Oct 2019, 5:01pm

Brynpoeth will probably be familiar with English tourists visiting Wales and asking for directions "to the Hotel Gwesty".
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