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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 30 Dec 2019, 11:03am
by Cyril Haearn
Audax67 wrote:
cycleruk wrote:For those of you who don't want Alexa listening in on your conversations.
They are now making a male version - it doesn't listen to anything. :roll: :wink:


Whereas the female version chimes in the first time you draw breath and talks for five minutes about something else.

Oh dear, is this sexist?

Nein es ist umgekehrt, no it is the other way round, look at how males on these fora engage in thread drift :wink:

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 30 Dec 2019, 8:14pm
by Cowsham
What's black an white and eats like a horse?

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 30 Dec 2019, 8:23pm
by Mike Sales
Cowsham wrote:What's black an white and eats like a horse?


expecting a QI klaxon...a zebra?

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 30 Dec 2019, 8:29pm
by pete75
Cowsham wrote:What's black an white and eats like a horse?


Simple - a black and white horse.

Image

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 30 Dec 2019, 8:44pm
by Cowsham
Mike Sales wrote:
Cowsham wrote:What's black an white and eats like a horse?


expecting a QI klaxon...a zebra?


Correct !

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 30 Dec 2019, 8:55pm
by Cowsham
pete75 wrote:
Cowsham wrote:What's black an white and eats like a horse?


Simple - a black and white horse.

Image


https://images.app.goo.gl/Vcu4TLKtFj1pNhrQ6

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 30 Dec 2019, 9:34pm
by RickH
What is the commonest type of owl?









A teet owl!

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 31 Dec 2019, 8:18am
by cycleruk
I went down to the local library and when I got there I noticed a large notice outside that said “health week”.
It said that to start the New Year off they were having a health week and that they would be selling vegetables.
Well, I thought that’s a turnip for the books isn’t it.

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 1 Jan 2020, 5:05pm
by pete75
29062782_1033418023474727_4751327177725706240_n.jpg

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 1 Jan 2020, 5:07pm
by Spinners
RickH wrote:What is the commonest type of owl?









A teet owl!


Love it!

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 6 Jan 2020, 2:00pm
by Cyril Haearn
'Late for school again, lad!', barked the teacher
'Sorry, I was accosted by a thief, he did not take much, just my homework', bleated Cyril :?

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 6 Jan 2020, 8:06pm
by mercalia
Ricky Gervais socks it to HollyWood at the golden globes

‘If you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. If you win, thank your agent, thank your god, and [rude word removed] off.’

https://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2020/01/ricky-gervais-has-given-hollywood-the-thrashing-it-richly-deserves/

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 6 Jan 2020, 8:22pm
by 661-Pete
pete75 wrote:29062782_1033418023474727_4751327177725706240_n.jpg
Excellent. Hope non-French speakers aren't too frustrated. "Je m'en fous" means "I don't give a ****"

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 6 Jan 2020, 8:47pm
by mercalia
661-Pete wrote:
pete75 wrote:29062782_1033418023474727_4751327177725706240_n.jpg
Excellent. Hope non-French speakers aren't too frustrated. "Je m'en fous" means "I don't give a ****"


seems like the rude word software not multi lingual? :lol:

Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Posted: 6 Jan 2020, 9:18pm
by Tinpotflowers
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