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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 29 Jan 2020, 8:46am
by Cyril Haearn
What is black and white and red all over?
..
The labour party! It includes black people and white people, and is somewhat left of centre
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 29 Jan 2020, 12:05pm
by Debs
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 29 Jan 2020, 12:17pm
by mattheus
Debs wrote:
Love it!
(hmmm, four circles, Fab Four … )
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 30 Jan 2020, 9:55am
by mercalia
How to get a seat on the london tube?
just start coughing
( not pc though)
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 30 Jan 2020, 4:15pm
by RickH
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 31 Jan 2020, 7:17pm
by Cyril Haearn
A yob drove his vehicle into the back of Ebenezers Granada
'Haven't you taken a driving test?' bleated the old gent
'I bet I have taken more driving tests than you' whimpered the yob
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 31 Jan 2020, 7:49pm
by philvantwo
Minus 1
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 1 Feb 2020, 3:08pm
by loch eck steve
Went to the docters recently and he told me my suger was high.............so i went home and put it on a lower shelf
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 1 Feb 2020, 6:47pm
by mattheus
Mike Sales wrote:661-Pete wrote:mattheus wrote:What is black and white and red all over?
I'm afraid that's one of the old classics that doesn't work when written.
The other one I know is,
"what's brown and smelly and comes out of cow[e]s backwards...?". Are there any others like that?
What's a Greek urn (earn) ?
How do you find WIll Smith if it's snowing?
Follow the Fresh Prince!
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 9 Feb 2020, 8:00am
by Cyril Haearn
'What have we got in the diary this week?', asked the boss
The secretary had a look: 'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,.. Thursday and Friday', he bleated
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 9 Feb 2020, 9:33am
by Audax67
Missus: What's all this crud on the shopping-list?
Me: Well you told me to put mustard on it.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 10 Feb 2020, 12:14pm
by Debs
A bloke down the road from us has 2 Porsches, a Ferrari, a Jag, 3 Fords and an old Mini Metro.
We suspect he has the car owner virus.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 11 Feb 2020, 6:36pm
by 661-Pete
An oldie this one, attributed to various dramatists....
A particularly truculent theatre critic, much given to lambasting Noel Coward's work, was furious at not being sent complimentary tickets to Coward's new production. He sent Coward a wire saying "Was most disappointed not to be invited to your First Night. Expect tickets to your Second Night - if you have a Second Night..."
Coward promptly replied "So sorry you were not able to attend our First Night. I am sending you two tickets to our Second Night, for yourself and a friend - if you have a friend..."
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 11 Feb 2020, 7:22pm
by Cyril Haearn
He brought two friends, paid full price for the second
His review was full of double-entendres
'When I checked my watch at ten o'clock, it was just gone nine'
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 12 Feb 2020, 4:50pm
by mercalia