Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Posted: 23 Sep 2020, 10:25am
Oi Guys! Can we get back to the jokes and leave the politics in the proper thread? A case of you're not having a laugh! MM
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Oldjohnw wrote: ...the EU should never be let near another outsourcing contract again.
sjs wrote:Oldjohnw wrote: ...the EU should never be let near another outsourcing contract again.
A typo? You're likely to get unexpected people agreeing with you!
cycleruk wrote:A little nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials. The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.
Cowsham wrote:Free urine test
Go to a tree trunk and pee on it.
If it attracts a lot of ants you have high glucose.
If it dries too fast, you have high sodium.
If it smells like meat, you have high cholesterol.
If you got to the tree and forgot to open your pants to pee, Alzheimer’s.
Had trouble aiming at the tree? Parkinsons.
If you pee on your feet, Prostate.
If it was painful coming out, Gonococus, no question.
If however, you couldn’t smell the pee? You have COVID-19.
mercalia wrote:Cowsham wrote:Free urine test
Go to a tree trunk and pee on it.
If it attracts a lot of ants you have high glucose.
If it dries too fast, you have high sodium.
If it smells like meat, you have high cholesterol.
If you got to the tree and forgot to open your pants to pee, Alzheimer’s.
Had trouble aiming at the tree? Parkinsons.
If you pee on your feet, Prostate.
If it was painful coming out, Gonococus, no question.
If however, you couldn’t smell the pee? You have COVID-19.
you need make a flow chart for the computer literate here
Cyril Haearn wrote:Too many puns on here, trying to get back on course with a joke
..
Saw someone sitting outwith a tavern, he was looking sorry for himself
'Alright mate? You got no money? May I buy you a drink?' quoth I
'Money I have, but sadly no thirst at the minute!', he bleated
mercalia wrote:
kylecycler wrote:Cyril Haearn wrote:Too many puns on here, trying to get back on course with a joke
..
Saw someone sitting outwith a tavern, he was looking sorry for himself
'Alright mate? You got no money? May I buy you a drink?' quoth I
'Money I have, but sadly no thirst at the minute!', he bleated
That's a bit like, "I haven't lost it, I just can't find it," which always makes me laugh.
Jdsk wrote:It was “I wasn't....
..