Unfit cycle partners - beware!
Hmmmmm. 5'9" and 18 stone. Cunobelin and Widduck both know me and have both seen me ride. I've just come back from a tour, 1,020 miles in 20days of riding. I am a fat bloke, but my body still works...and I did lose a stone on the tour.
I have a major problem with my metabolism stemming from being technically dead twice after being hit by a car 19 years ago. My body doesn't work properly any more.
Books and covers.....and I still sympathise with your plight. I am reminded of going on a tour with someone who nearly missed the plane through an inabaility to understand "get there early".
I have a major problem with my metabolism stemming from being technically dead twice after being hit by a car 19 years ago. My body doesn't work properly any more.
Books and covers.....and I still sympathise with your plight. I am reminded of going on a tour with someone who nearly missed the plane through an inabaility to understand "get there early".
I,m sorry but ..
Mattman
I really can understand how you are feeling and how disappointed you must be that your mate did not treat this trip seriously enough to train up correctly for it but I am sure that your mate was really well intentioned and just did not want to let you down.
If you read all the Self Help books the one thing they all seem to agree on is that saying no is the hardest word to say as if you say it people question you why, but when you say yes nothing further is said.
My point is that I dare say your mate when you were asking him whether he had been out training found it is to say yes to you and I am sure that by now he must regret not having been honest to you.
Plaese make sure that whatever you do now you remain friends as it really is not worth losing a good friend who clearly had good intentions.
I really can understand how you are feeling and how disappointed you must be that your mate did not treat this trip seriously enough to train up correctly for it but I am sure that your mate was really well intentioned and just did not want to let you down.
If you read all the Self Help books the one thing they all seem to agree on is that saying no is the hardest word to say as if you say it people question you why, but when you say yes nothing further is said.
My point is that I dare say your mate when you were asking him whether he had been out training found it is to say yes to you and I am sure that by now he must regret not having been honest to you.
Plaese make sure that whatever you do now you remain friends as it really is not worth losing a good friend who clearly had good intentions.
A very familiar problem this. It has occurred twice to me over the past few years, although I was better prepared for the second instance.
The first time was a LEJOG a few years ago, my first. My co-cyclist was a friend I had known since primary school and he had been talking about doing a LEJOG for years, so we set a date of the September after he had finished university. This, I thought, should be perfect as he would have no excuses about fitness - if you can't get fit at uni with all the facilities available, then there was still 4 months or so to tweak things.
Alas, there was a lot of positive talk, but very little action it appeared. The fitness aspect was not the only problem though - he only got hold of the bike he was to do the trip on a fortnight before we started and, being second hand it turned out there were a fair few problems. It was fixed and ready just 12 hours before we started.
So we made it to the start line, but instantly it was clear that there were problems. I left him behind every time there was a hill, I left him behind every time we encountered any traffic, on some occasions I just left him behind. This would have been ok though, I simply needed to wait at the top of hills etc. Then I found that I was getting up first every morning and having to wait over an hour for him to get sorted out, which led to often cycling into the dark at the end of the day. Then I found that his route (we had taken his version as it was flatter and he didn't like the look of mine (and we had not been able to do one single route as he somehow was never available in the run up to the trip)) led us through numerous cities which I detested.
By the time we had reached Pitlochry I had had enough, very nearly just went home but in the end decided to ride on ahead on my own. The last few days were the best of the trip by far, although I love the Highlands so that may well have been the case anyway.
Epilogue:
I didn't speak to my friend again for nearly two years. I've never been able to tolerate people who continuously tell me one thing, but fail to make good on their promises and I really wanted to make sure he understood quite how annoyed I was. We see each other a lot more now and still get on fine, but I just wouldn't be able to trust him on an expedition like this.
The first time was a LEJOG a few years ago, my first. My co-cyclist was a friend I had known since primary school and he had been talking about doing a LEJOG for years, so we set a date of the September after he had finished university. This, I thought, should be perfect as he would have no excuses about fitness - if you can't get fit at uni with all the facilities available, then there was still 4 months or so to tweak things.
Alas, there was a lot of positive talk, but very little action it appeared. The fitness aspect was not the only problem though - he only got hold of the bike he was to do the trip on a fortnight before we started and, being second hand it turned out there were a fair few problems. It was fixed and ready just 12 hours before we started.
So we made it to the start line, but instantly it was clear that there were problems. I left him behind every time there was a hill, I left him behind every time we encountered any traffic, on some occasions I just left him behind. This would have been ok though, I simply needed to wait at the top of hills etc. Then I found that I was getting up first every morning and having to wait over an hour for him to get sorted out, which led to often cycling into the dark at the end of the day. Then I found that his route (we had taken his version as it was flatter and he didn't like the look of mine (and we had not been able to do one single route as he somehow was never available in the run up to the trip)) led us through numerous cities which I detested.
By the time we had reached Pitlochry I had had enough, very nearly just went home but in the end decided to ride on ahead on my own. The last few days were the best of the trip by far, although I love the Highlands so that may well have been the case anyway.
Epilogue:
I didn't speak to my friend again for nearly two years. I've never been able to tolerate people who continuously tell me one thing, but fail to make good on their promises and I really wanted to make sure he understood quite how annoyed I was. We see each other a lot more now and still get on fine, but I just wouldn't be able to trust him on an expedition like this.
As for the second time, it was a fair bit easier to handle. This one I did with my cousin, knowing full well that he wouldn't be in peak physical condition, but also knowing that he is stubborn as a herd of mules and wouldn't give up for anything.
Things didn't go too smoothly on the way up to JOG, the fitness level difference was quite marked and he clearly wasn't prepared in other aspects, but I was ready for it this time and was able to keep my frustration under control making a big effort not to nag and just to help him through. We were going to do 2700 miles in about 35 days so as long as he kept going I was happy enough.
It all got a bit heated though on the east coast of Scotland, a little before Wick. My cousin skidded to a halt in front of me for no other reason than he wanted to wee and I crashed into his back wheel. Tempers flared, I pushed him over and stormed off. We had been going into a mighty headwind in pretty cold conditions and getting very wet for most of the past week so all in all this was not surprising. Neither of us was very happy at that time. In Wick I had calmed down, but my cousin was still angry and for the first time on the trip he went out of sight in the lead.
What followed was a bit of a hallelujah moment. All of a sudden, as soon as we left Wick, the sun came out and the wind died down. First time this had happened for over a week. The next day was the best of the trip and from then on things became much more enjoyable. The West coast was superb and although we ran into more ridiculous weather (see last year's floods around June 28th ish) there was never a thought of not completing it.
There are always going to be problems when doing a long distance bike trip with someone else, and a difference in fitness will only exaggerate those problems. In the end you have to get through the tough bits and bring back memories of the good bits.
Plenty of sympathy for the original poster as had anyone pulled out of a tour with me on the first day due to being unfit my toys would have come out of my pram at an extraordinary velocity. You have to blame yourself a bit for not realising that this would happen, or not putting in place checks that would allow you too, but the simple fact is that sometimes you have to trust other people and all too often you find that their idea of things does not equate to your own.
Things didn't go too smoothly on the way up to JOG, the fitness level difference was quite marked and he clearly wasn't prepared in other aspects, but I was ready for it this time and was able to keep my frustration under control making a big effort not to nag and just to help him through. We were going to do 2700 miles in about 35 days so as long as he kept going I was happy enough.
It all got a bit heated though on the east coast of Scotland, a little before Wick. My cousin skidded to a halt in front of me for no other reason than he wanted to wee and I crashed into his back wheel. Tempers flared, I pushed him over and stormed off. We had been going into a mighty headwind in pretty cold conditions and getting very wet for most of the past week so all in all this was not surprising. Neither of us was very happy at that time. In Wick I had calmed down, but my cousin was still angry and for the first time on the trip he went out of sight in the lead.
What followed was a bit of a hallelujah moment. All of a sudden, as soon as we left Wick, the sun came out and the wind died down. First time this had happened for over a week. The next day was the best of the trip and from then on things became much more enjoyable. The West coast was superb and although we ran into more ridiculous weather (see last year's floods around June 28th ish) there was never a thought of not completing it.
There are always going to be problems when doing a long distance bike trip with someone else, and a difference in fitness will only exaggerate those problems. In the end you have to get through the tough bits and bring back memories of the good bits.
Plenty of sympathy for the original poster as had anyone pulled out of a tour with me on the first day due to being unfit my toys would have come out of my pram at an extraordinary velocity. You have to blame yourself a bit for not realising that this would happen, or not putting in place checks that would allow you too, but the simple fact is that sometimes you have to trust other people and all too often you find that their idea of things does not equate to your own.
There are also two schools of thought on what to do with people that do this to you. As mentioned above by hondated 'no' is the hardest thing to say and quite possibly in his attempts to stay positive and keep you happy he eventually, inevitably, let you down as a result. So a case of good intentions gone bad?
Or, you can look at it as a case of him consistently lying to you, letting you do a lot of work, put in all the effort and building your hopes up, only for his laziness and untruthfulness to bring it all crashing down. Why surround yourself with people who will callously do that to you?
Nothing is black and white, but the best option may well be to steer clear of him for some time until you feel you can approach the subject more level-headedly. That worked for me, nothing good would ever come of me trying to settle a dispute while still angry. You need to be able to build embankments against the tide of ire that is clearly existent from your first post.
Or, you can look at it as a case of him consistently lying to you, letting you do a lot of work, put in all the effort and building your hopes up, only for his laziness and untruthfulness to bring it all crashing down. Why surround yourself with people who will callously do that to you?
Nothing is black and white, but the best option may well be to steer clear of him for some time until you feel you can approach the subject more level-headedly. That worked for me, nothing good would ever come of me trying to settle a dispute while still angry. You need to be able to build embankments against the tide of ire that is clearly existent from your first post.
This is why I tour solo (or one of the reasons). I do not feel I am a fast rider, and do not want to be forever holding a partner up, but then Cunobelin makes the point above. I have just posted on another thread about the Afsluitsdijk, and I know that when I rode that last month I kept catching and passing people, so I see what he means.
My ex-wife was a really slow rider, which used to upset her because she would forever feel the need to push herself too hard, and imagine (wrongly) that I resented the slow pace. We bought a tandem.
My ex-wife was a really slow rider, which used to upset her because she would forever feel the need to push herself too hard, and imagine (wrongly) that I resented the slow pace. We bought a tandem.
