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Postby Vorpal » 15 May 2017, 3:40pm

Colin_P wrote:Well, it has been a few weeks since the events.

Things are mostly good, I'm out on the bike doing lowly six mile loops but am out every day.

What I'm struggling with is anxiety, especially when sat still and in bed trying to sleep. I don't know if anyone else has suffered anxiety or panic but when it gets hold you, it really does!

Anxiety is an awful thing to suffer with, and it can't help the other health issues. Can you get a referral for counselling? Or see someone who can help you with that? There are various methods that people can use to (sometimes, at least) get out of the sort of negative loops of anxiety. I don't suffer, but Mr. V does.

If it helps any, I love this thread. This thread is my absolute favourite on the forum. It is so inspiring to read your story and Rick's, and that of the other contributors to this thread. I'm sure that it doesn't feel inspiring to you, but I really think it's amazing. Your 6 miles is harder won than any ride I take, and I admire you for it.
“In some ways, it is easier to be a dissident, for then one is without responsibility.”
― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

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Postby Colin_P » 16 May 2017, 12:11am

Thanks Vorpal,

I also take inspiration from Rick, he is a legend !

An often neglected part of any illness are the effects it can have on the sufferers mental health. As hopefully as we are all aware mental health is quite rightly being pushed in the media to raise awareness of it.

Most people at sometime in their lives will suffer from it in some way or another. There are of course many who sail through life without issue. Before my heart issues and subsequent anxiety as a result of it I simply didn't get or understand it. But I can confirm that once it has you in its grasp it is very difficult to get free from it.

As for the cycling, I'm still out every evening for at least an hour, no ifs, no buts, I'm out there. Sometimes it is difficult to summon the courage to do it but once I'm out the miraculous thing is that life feels normal. The last two evenings I manged a little over eight miles with about 500 feet of climbing.

I do hope that anyone who happens to read this thread who is facing similar problems draws inspiraton from it, especially from Rick!

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Postby rickangus » 18 May 2017, 12:08pm

Well, I've been offline for a while and have come back to read this! I'm a bit embarrassed tbh - there are some very kind comments but not really justified. I've done nothing at all other than to put myself in the hands of some very skilled medical staff who worked wonders for me. Without wishing to make this a mutual appreciation society Colin has been far more stoic and determined than I ever have been - I'm hugely impressed by his mileages given his medical history and he's back on his bike already after his recent 'shocking' experiences. Hats off to him - though a medal would be more appropriate!

A couple of weekends ago I attended a wonderful thanksgiving service at Ely Cathedral remembering the donors (and families) who gave their consent to donate organs, organ recipients, those waiting for an organ transplant and the medical staff who make the whole process possible.

I have to say that I haven't had a great level of anxiety other than when a shock from the ICD was imminent. Possibly irrational but I Did Not Like It.

Anyway, I'm rushing off now for a quick check up - one of my drugs accelerated the development of cataracts which have now been operated on so am seeing the Opthalmologist.

Thank you Colin and Vorpel for your very kind and encouraging words.


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Postby rickangus » 18 May 2017, 2:40pm

Oh, I've just realised that tomorrow (Fri 19th) is the 2nd anniversary of my receiving a new heart!

However, I am very mindful that whilst for me it's a memorable occasion, for another family, somewhere, the pain and grief of their loss will be real and ever present... I have not met them but they are never far from my thoughts and prayers.

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Postby Colin_P » 19 May 2017, 1:47am

Stoic :wink:

More like a jelly in a bag of nerves. I worry about the 'next' event all the time.

It has been just over three weeks since and things are calming down mentally. I've been propping myself up with chill-pills but am now weaning off them as I'm even worry about building up an addiction to them. But things are slowly returning to normal, well as normal as they can be.

This evening it was lashing with rain, I still went out and did a lowly nine mile ride up and down the farm tracks got thoroughly soaked. It was fantastic.

And Rick, never be embarassed, you really are a legend and have inspired me no end.

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