Colin_P wrote:Well, it has been a few weeks since the events.
Things are mostly good, I'm out on the bike doing lowly six mile loops but am out every day.
What I'm struggling with is anxiety, especially when sat still and in bed trying to sleep. I don't know if anyone else has suffered anxiety or panic but when it gets hold you, it really does!
Anxiety is an awful thing to suffer with, and it can't help the other health issues. Can you get a referral for counselling? Or see someone who can help you with that? There are various methods that people can use to (sometimes, at least) get out of the sort of negative loops of anxiety. I don't suffer, but Mr. V does.
If it helps any, I love this thread. This thread is my absolute favourite on the forum. It is so inspiring to read your story and Rick's, and that of the other contributors to this thread. I'm sure that it doesn't feel inspiring to you, but I really think it's amazing. Your 6 miles is harder won than any ride I take, and I admire you for it.
“In some ways, it is easier to be a dissident, for then one is without responsibility.” ― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
I also take inspiration from Rick, he is a legend !
An often neglected part of any illness are the effects it can have on the sufferers mental health. As hopefully as we are all aware mental health is quite rightly being pushed in the media to raise awareness of it.
Most people at sometime in their lives will suffer from it in some way or another. There are of course many who sail through life without issue. Before my heart issues and subsequent anxiety as a result of it I simply didn't get or understand it. But I can confirm that once it has you in its grasp it is very difficult to get free from it.
As for the cycling, I'm still out every evening for at least an hour, no ifs, no buts, I'm out there. Sometimes it is difficult to summon the courage to do it but once I'm out the miraculous thing is that life feels normal. The last two evenings I manged a little over eight miles with about 500 feet of climbing.
I do hope that anyone who happens to read this thread who is facing similar problems draws inspiraton from it, especially from Rick!
Well, I've been offline for a while and have come back to read this! I'm a bit embarrassed tbh - there are some very kind comments but not really justified. I've done nothing at all other than to put myself in the hands of some very skilled medical staff who worked wonders for me. Without wishing to make this a mutual appreciation society Colin has been far more stoic and determined than I ever have been - I'm hugely impressed by his mileages given his medical history and he's back on his bike already after his recent 'shocking' experiences. Hats off to him - though a medal would be more appropriate!
A couple of weekends ago I attended a wonderful thanksgiving service at Ely Cathedral remembering the donors (and families) who gave their consent to donate organs, organ recipients, those waiting for an organ transplant and the medical staff who make the whole process possible.
I have to say that I haven't had a great level of anxiety other than when a shock from the ICD was imminent. Possibly irrational but I Did Not Like It.
Anyway, I'm rushing off now for a quick check up - one of my drugs accelerated the development of cataracts which have now been operated on so am seeing the Opthalmologist.
Thank you Colin and Vorpel for your very kind and encouraging words.
Oh, I've just realised that tomorrow (Fri 19th) is the 2nd anniversary of my receiving a new heart!
However, I am very mindful that whilst for me it's a memorable occasion, for another family, somewhere, the pain and grief of their loss will be real and ever present... I have not met them but they are never far from my thoughts and prayers.
More like a jelly in a bag of nerves. I worry about the 'next' event all the time.
It has been just over three weeks since and things are calming down mentally. I've been propping myself up with chill-pills but am now weaning off them as I'm even worry about building up an addiction to them. But things are slowly returning to normal, well as normal as they can be.
This evening it was lashing with rain, I still went out and did a lowly nine mile ride up and down the farm tracks got thoroughly soaked. It was fantastic.
And Rick, never be embarassed, you really are a legend and have inspired me no end.
I realize this thread is really old, but I wanted to write this anyhow. Aug 1 2016 1 day after finishing my first 26 mile marathon, I thought a hike the next day would help out my sore legs. So my friend and I set out to hike up angels rest on the Columbia river gorge in Oregon. My friend forgot to inform me that a few weeks before hand he had an icd installed for a heart condition he had most of his life. I was really sore in the legs and it was all i could do to keep up with my buddy. Just as we got to the top of the 2.5 mile hike, his defib hit him. He immediatly went to the ground. Best i can describe is a fish out of water! As he was thrashing around on the ground, his head was hitting every rock in sight. I knew not was going on, so i put my hands on his head to stop the beating from the rocks. I felt the 2nd shock, this one caused him to die, i believe. No pulse, no breath,0 movement. I really was kinda in shock and beside myself! I call 911, they were ready to send out a helicoptor, and were asking if i knew cpr. About that time, it shocked him a 3rd time and brought him back, strange! He asked to give him a moment to rest, then to my complete surprise, we walked off that mountain. I dropped him at the hospital, the EKG had reported everything I had seen. When he came to, I asked him, did you see a bright light and a tunnel? He said, no light but I did see a long tunnel! He survived! Over a year has past, 3 months after the incident I agreed to do the hike with him again, it went fine. Yesterday we went my biking. Less that 5 minutes into riding, he got shocked! This time he stayed conscious. 10 seconds later it hit him again! Still conscious I asked him to describe the pain. Horrible pain! Like getting kicked in the chest by a horse is what he said. I really wanted to call 911, but he asked that I did not! I guess I figured at that point if he died, I would then call them. I like my friend, we have had many adventures together, but now I am scared to do anything with him, I know I am not the victim here, but this is getting tough!
The device will often take more than one shock to defibrillate. Usually they'll be programmed to give anti-tachycardia pacing while the capacitors charge, then the device will recheck for VF/VT again and if present deliver a shock. They'll usually be six shocks programmed and one of the last will feature reverse polarity - just because its tried everything up to then unsuccessfully it's worth trying something else.
There is no need to call an ambulance unless the patient starts getting repeated shocks or is getting inappropriate shocks. Some patients will get shocks when excercising which aren't appropriate (i.e. They didn't need them). If a patient has had a shock they should call they're hospital and let them know. If it's a first time shock or is happening with excercise the hospital may want to see the trace from the event the device has stored. This may allow the device to be reprogrammed to avoid future inappropriate shocks.
And all of a sudden I went down again and was shocked back, again.
In the interim period from my last posts in 2017 I thought life had almost returned to normal except for the drugs. Out on the bike almost every day albeit short distances and a low speeds, but I've been out there!
I'm currently sat in my local hospital awaiting a transfer to the Royal Brompton for a cardiac MRI scan and am also scheduled for another attempt at an ablation at Harefield on the 9th of September.
Ho-hum, another six month, minimum, medical driving ban, massive worries about work, money, and the mortgage.
