The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Separate forum to permit easy exclusion when searching for serious information !
atoz
Posts: 584
Joined: 5 Jan 2007, 4:50pm

The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by atoz »

Hi all

Here's my contribution to this overworked one, if only to show how naff they are..

1, Thou shalt not have a saddlebag- especially a Carradice saddlebag- unless you don't mind being considered an old fart..
2. Thou shalt not have a large saddlebag- see above
3. Black is the only suitable colour for shorts/longs etc.
4. Thou shalt only shave thy legs if one is either female, racing cyclist, or both. Totally forbidden for MTB types- the more hair the better.
5. Thou shalt not wear pink (aimed at the men) or, thou shalt avoid wearing pink (female, on feminist grounds- controversial but definitely some subscribe to this one)
6. Thou shalt avoid 3/4 length longs (men) as it make you look female ("boys don't wear leggings")
7. Thou shalt not have mudguards
8. Thou shalt only have road type clipless pedals, even if on a commute where SPDs would be much more sensible.
9. Thou shalt avoid the use of a. saddlebags or b. panniers for a commute- backpacks are apparently "cool"
10. And the last- thou shalt wear a helmet.

I have come across all of these from time to time (though not all at once-lol)..makes you almost nostalgic for the era of Greenspot jackets and gaberdine shorts al la Cyclists Special. I think it should immortalised in stone like the infamous Ed Stone- see https://www.theguardian.com/news/2015/dec/22/the-ed-stone-ed-milibands-monumental-folly-labour-election-limestone
User avatar
gaz
Posts: 14649
Joined: 9 Mar 2007, 12:09pm
Location: Kent

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by gaz »

The first unwritten rule of cycling kit club is that you don't write down the rules of cycling kit club :wink: .
atoz
Posts: 584
Joined: 5 Jan 2007, 4:50pm

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by atoz »

gaz wrote:The first unwritten rule of cycling kit club is that you don't write down the rules of cycling kit club :wink: .


Couldn't agree more, but you just have to expose the naffness of it all- so the exception proves the rule
Cyril Haearn
Posts: 15215
Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by Cyril Haearn »

Velocio, Paul de Vivie, set the cycling rules :wink:
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
User avatar
mjr
Posts: 20308
Joined: 20 Jun 2011, 7:06pm
Location: Norfolk or Somerset, mostly
Contact:

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by mjr »

That's the wrong list. Here are the actual rules:

1. Thou shalt not set rules beyond this and the law for any aspect of cycling - unless you don't mind being considered a discouraging old fart deterring people from cycling.
2 to 10. See 1 - some people are a bit slow on the uptake and need it repeated.
MJR, mostly pedalling 3-speed roadsters. KL+West Norfolk BUG incl social easy rides http://www.klwnbug.co.uk
All the above is CC-By-SA and no other implied copyright license to Cycle magazine.
Cyril Haearn
Posts: 15215
Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by Cyril Haearn »

Proud to be a BoF :wink:

The unwritten rules may not be written down of course, like the UK constitution :?
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
User avatar
cyclemad
Posts: 186
Joined: 23 Jan 2018, 9:16pm

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by cyclemad »

I shave, I wear pink and I wear 3/4 leggings Viva La Revolution :twisted:
Canuk
Posts: 1105
Joined: 4 Oct 2016, 11:43pm

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by Canuk »

Though shalt ignore everything above and wear exactly what makes you comfortable. Rules are made to be smashed to bits :wink:

I haven't worn a helmet in 40 years. When people ask me why, I say I have only one rule - don't fall off, stay on the bike no matter what.
Oldjohnw
Posts: 7764
Joined: 16 Oct 2018, 4:23am
Location: South Warwickshire

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by Oldjohnw »

I don't wear cycling kit, just Alpkit padded underwear.

I'm probably stuck in the 1950s, the decade of my childhood.
John
reohn2
Posts: 45159
Joined: 26 Jun 2009, 8:21pm

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by reohn2 »

I only have one rule.
Whatever works best is used most,so I work toward that end.

PS,I'm still perfecting it :)
-----------------------------------------------------------
"All we are not stares back at what we are"
W H Auden
User avatar
Mick F
Spambuster
Posts: 56359
Joined: 7 Jan 2007, 11:24am
Location: Tamar Valley, Cornwall

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by Mick F »

Rule No4.
I don't shave. I don't have to. No hair ANYWHERE on my body, and it's bliss! :D
Alopecia Universalis.

We should all have it. The less hair the better.
Mick F. Cornwall
User avatar
al_yrpal
Posts: 11537
Joined: 25 Jul 2007, 9:47pm
Location: Think Cheddar and Cider
Contact:

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by al_yrpal »

[code][/code]Admit it… you're a real smoothy :lol:

Al
Reuse, recycle, thus do your bit to save the planet.... Get stuff at auctions, Dump, Charity Shops, Facebook Marketplace, Ebay, Car Boots. Choose an Old House, and a Banger ..... And cycle as often as you can......
Canuk
Posts: 1105
Joined: 4 Oct 2016, 11:43pm

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by Canuk »

There are ten rules somewhere about setting up your bike. Apparently if your bar tape and saddle are not exactly the same colour (preferably black) it's a faux pas that can't be forgiven!
atoz
Posts: 584
Joined: 5 Jan 2007, 4:50pm

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by atoz »

mjr wrote:That's the wrong list. Here are the actual rules:

1. Thou shalt not set rules beyond this and the law for any aspect of cycling - unless you don't mind being considered a discouraging old fart deterring people from cycling.
2 to 10. See 1 - some people are a bit slow on the uptake and need it repeated.


Exactly- it's a list you don't want.Which is precisely why I posted it. It was a compilation of all the stuff you hear, one way or another. I find it interesting that a lot of this seems to have emerged recently, probably with the rise of the well-heeled sportive cyclist. I did experience the anti-pink thing at the start of an event not so long ago- which is odd considering the amout of pink shirts, T-shirts etc that were displayed in retail stores up to quite recently. As one of my non-cycling female friends pointed out, I was "on trend".

Yet nearly 30 years ago I wore a cerise short sleeved jersey on the bike, and there was no comments at all.

As for the saddlebag thing- probably down to pure ignorance. Same with the mudguards. I mean, do none of these types ride in anything but dry summer weather? Do they ever call in at the shops on the bike when they're out on a run?
User avatar
Guy951
Posts: 1599
Joined: 14 Jul 2009, 8:23am
Location: Mid Beds

Re: The 10 unwritten rules of cycling kit..

Post by Guy951 »

When (if?) the weather improves I dare say I'll don my replica maglia rosa given to me nearly 30 years ago.

If pink was good enough for the likes of Fausto Coppi and Eddy Merckx... 8)



Edit: given to me over 30 years ago. I ran out of fingers when counting :roll:
What manner of creature's this, being but half a fish and half a monster
Post Reply