Just venting (advice from a stranger)

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brooksby
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Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby brooksby » 30 May 2019, 10:09am

Cycling home last night, riding on the (narrow) shared-use path going through the village of Abbots Leigh (here - https://goo.gl/maps/qQ9RK7L8JtQfTG8P8 ).

I carefully slowed down as a bus pulled up and a group got off, they noticed me and I thanked them as they moved over slightly.

As I moved past them, one of the women said, "I am so glad that you're not riding on the road" (I smiled), and then added, "But I do wish you were wearing a helmet!".

I stopped, pointed out I was riding on the path because I'd been bullied off the road by speeding cars, then got into a brief but heated helmet debate ( :evil: ) where apparently in failing to wear a helmet I was threatening to leave my children as orphans (and she knew I had children, how?).

In what other field of human activity do people feel it's acceptable to give unsolicited advice to perfect strangers???

reohn2
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby reohn2 » 30 May 2019, 10:15am

brooksby wrote: .........In what other field of human activity do people feel it's acceptable to give unsolicited advice to perfect strangers???

None.
She was an interfering busy body who thought she was giving good advice to someone she thought was in imminent danger of dying of a head injury.
My bet is she's never ever ridden a bike,nor is ever likely to.
I'm still waiting for the first person to offer their advice on my choice of headgear or lack of it,it'll be a shock for them :wink:
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brynpoeth
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby brynpoeth » 30 May 2019, 10:24am

Football, there are millions of football experts :wink:
She was probably 'only' ignorant. How many people have never cycled?

I should have (I hope) pretended not to know much, let her talk, ask questions, it is often difficult when one suddenly gets talking to people

Planning to practice talking to strangers on a train trip soon
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Vantage
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby Vantage » 30 May 2019, 10:47am

I recently got into this with my mum when my youngest decided she wanted to ride to school.

"Make sure she rides safe and wears a helmet."

:evil:
Cue lots of back and forth messages before she gave in.
Bill


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It's a rich man whos children run to him when his pockets are empty.

brooksby
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby brooksby » 30 May 2019, 10:55am

Thanks, people :D

Mike Sales
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby Mike Sales » 30 May 2019, 11:05am

On my way to the village shop I passed a woman and child cycling around some parked cars only inches away, very much in the door zone. When they came into the shop I gently advised, as tactfully as I could, that it was safer to give parked cars a wider berth. She took it kindly, so I don't think I was too much of an interfering stranger.
I would try to be civil to being advised to wear polystyrene, if it was done politely. It should give you an opening to explain the facts, as here.

brynpoeth
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby brynpoeth » 30 May 2019, 11:15am

PoBs cycling in the door zone is a big problem but if one cycles outwith the dz drivers going the other way get angry
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reohn2
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby reohn2 » 30 May 2019, 11:16am

Mike Sales wrote:On my way to the village shop I passed a woman and child cycling around some parked cars only inches away, very much in the door zone. When they came into the shop I gently advised, as tactfully as I could, that it was safer to give parked cars a wider berth. She took it kindly, so I don't think I was too much of an interfering stranger.
I would try to be civil to being advised to wear polystyrene, if it was done politely. It should give you an opening to explain the facts, as here.

But all too often people who offer helmet 'advice' aren't of the polite type,and are like the ones who seem to think all cyclists are RLJing,pavement riding,antisocial nutters who are out to cause trouble.In other words yer regular DM reader.
I've had it to the back teeth of such people and who get short shrift from me.

And relax....

That said if I'm spoken to politely and with courtesy I'll return the courtesy and politeness :) .
Last edited by reohn2 on 30 May 2019, 11:18am, edited 2 times in total.
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Mike Sales
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby Mike Sales » 30 May 2019, 11:16am

brynpoeth wrote:PoBs cycling in the door zone is a big problem but if one cycles outwith the dz drivers going the other way get angry


And some going the same way.

reohn2
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby reohn2 » 30 May 2019, 11:20am

BTW,ever tried telling soemone to "put the phone down" when they're driving?
I gave up on that a loonnngggg time ago.....
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Mike Sales
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby Mike Sales » 30 May 2019, 11:29am

reohn2 wrote:BTW,ever tried telling soemone to "put the phone down" when they're driving?
I gave up on that a loonnngggg time ago.....


Or speeding. I've long had a policy of not criticising the driver, but I have thought of changing it.

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Lance Dopestrong
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby Lance Dopestrong » 30 May 2019, 12:40pm

I'd have replied...

"...keep dodging those coffins!"

Should she not be terribly old then...

"...I do wish your wear a bag on your head" would have been a satisfying instant riposte.

You can't teach dumb, and peole with such entrenched and uninformed views will never change their mind (look at the Brexit thread for evidence of that all round!), so don't waste your breath trying to do so.
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brynpoeth
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby brynpoeth » 30 May 2019, 12:43pm

Mike Sales wrote:
reohn2 wrote:BTW,ever tried telling soemone to "put the phone down" when they're driving?
I gave up on that a loonnngggg time ago.....


Or speeding. I've long had a policy of not criticising the driver, but I have thought of changing it.

Can't be sure they are speeding, can't measure
Can be sure when one observes them crossing unbroken lines, ignoring stop signs, telephoning
Often a sudden loud roar-shout might be effective
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Mike Sales
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby Mike Sales » 30 May 2019, 12:48pm

brynpoeth wrote:Can't be sure they are speeding, can't measure


One can often see the speedometer.

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Cugel
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Re: Just venting (advice from a stranger)

Postby Cugel » 30 May 2019, 1:43pm

brynpoeth wrote:
I should have (I hope) pretended not to know much, let her talk, ask questions, it is often difficult when one suddenly gets talking to people



Here is good advice! I do similar with all sorts, from Jehovah's Witnesses to blokes on the canal path going on about how all the moles should be murdered because .... well, just because. One asks them questions in a Socratic fashion, thereby handing them the shovel to dig the hole they gradually disappear into.

One must be careful to stay one's own views, especially in the case of the more outrageous viewpoints spewing from one's interlocutor. I have seen others practice the technique with mad far-right loons, for example, dragging their true beliefs and intents out of them in all their gory. This is a daring thing to do, especially if one harbours an inner dislike of everything they say. I daren't tackle them, really. They take agin' 'ee in an over-vigorous way, inclusive of several of their baldy mates with Big Nasty Dogs!

Or so I have heard. :-)

Cugel