Would you have said something?

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pwa
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby pwa » 14 May 2015, 7:29am

The wisest thing to do in that situation is to go with how you feel. If you are anxious about finding the right words to make constructive criticism in a diplomatic way, you are going to struggle to put things across in the way you want to. But if you are feeling positive and friendly towards the miscreant (there's a good word!) you might have the right words to make the point.

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NATURAL ANKLING
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby NATURAL ANKLING » 14 May 2015, 9:05am

Hi,
I keep telling myself not to bite..........................
So I waved my arm at a close over-taker and up the road they stopped :?

Why did they stop :?:
To have a go at me or to find out what is the problem :?:
After me saying to the driver you passed me close on a single track road, he retorted that "You are overly excited"

That's a new one on me.

There are lots of pacifists around with so called wise words but no amount of wishful thinking on cyclists minds protect you from being injured at all, no manoeuvre when the car is behind you is going to help when you cant see it :!:

There is no right policy for what you do or say.

Put it this way after you are injured will you happily forgive the driver if it is clearly their fault :?:

I will not................................

Its not just car drivers, some of them then ride bikes and you meet them on your left on blind corners or two abreast coming straight at you on a long straight, roads included.

Its all about selfish behaviour and people who exude this attitude should never operate machinery, human powered or not.

Retest ALL drivers of machinery every five years and get them to pay for the examiners, dangerous and or lack of confidence will be weeded out, if referred and you fail again then its suspension until your retraining is safe then you are retested more often, add a onboard Cam too.

I can think of many who would simply surrender before any test.......................................

Long term teach considerate road use, cyclist included to school age pupils brfore they can drive in any public place.............

http://blogs.mutualofomaha.com/articles ... rtiveness/
2015-05-14_085914.jpg

I'm top of this class and still bite my tongue everytime I ride.

And I admit I am old fashioned.

Making passive or aggressive people MP's is a bad thing.................
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assertiveness
Criticism[edit]

Assertiveness may be practiced in an unbalanced way, especially by those new to the process: "[One] problem with the concept of assertiveness is that it is both complex and situation-specific. ... Behaviors that are assertive in one circumstance may not be so in another".[19] More particularly, while "unassertiveness courts one set of problems, over-assertiveness creates another."[20] Assertiveness manuals recognize that "many people, when trying out assertive behaviour for the first time, find that they go too far and become aggressive."[21]

In the late 1970s and early 1980s, in the heyday of assertiveness training, some so-called assertiveness training techniques were distorted and "people were told to do some pretty obnoxious things in the name of assertiveness. Like blankly repeating some request over and over until you got your way".[22] Divorced from respect for the rights of others, so-called assertiveness techniques could be psychological tools that might be readily abused: The line between repeatedly demanding with sanctions ("broken record") versus coercive nagging, emotional blackmail, or bullying, could be a fine one, and the caricature of assertiveness training as "training in how to get your own way ... or how to become as aggressive as the next person"[23] was perpetuated.
Last edited by NATURAL ANKLING on 14 May 2015, 9:10am, edited 1 time in total.
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tyreon
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby tyreon » 14 May 2015, 9:07am

All good comments,and I've had innumerable incidents such as described. I guess I just cycle on(when I should really stop and address the miscreant). You do not want to get into any altercation...especially if they're bigger than you :( . I wonder if you pass them and they're absent from the car you could put on their car a pre-printed small leflet or sticker(as printed and given out in Cycle Magazine :D ) This would say something like: You nearly hit me today! Take care PLEEZE. A passing cyclist. Give them something to think over. May make them reflect on their driving. Then again,this presupposes you have that leaflet/sticker...and you have it on you.

Some motorists just seem to be reckless or dozey

Cyril Haearn
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby Cyril Haearn » 14 May 2015, 10:12am

Yes, you should have given them a bloody good loud talking to (shock effect), hardly matters what you say or whether they understand. Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

It worked with me. I was driving in a bus lane in London once many years ago (not allowed), a motorcycle policeman stopped me and said, loudly and without unnecessary "respect": "can't you read, that is a bus lane, get aaht of it".

Worked for me, helped form my opinion and respect for the law. I was glad he didn't bother trying to "counsel" me as the police do now.
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NATURAL ANKLING
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby NATURAL ANKLING » 14 May 2015, 10:18am

Hi,
It does help with internal stress if you let of a little bit of steam now and again.

I now carry a video camera on my person so the next time a car driver gets out and stands in the middle of the road I will say nowt and film their blast.

I will not be seen as the aggressor so it can be used against me in court.

Keep safe all.
NA Thinks Just End 2 End Return + Bivvy
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beachcomber
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby beachcomber » 14 May 2015, 2:14pm

It's very easy to answer this post with a 'you should have'

We are all different and our ability to deal with aggressive drivers is varied. The reaction of drivers will vary greatly too.

I am no shrinking violet. I have challenged drivers on many occasions. I advise a polite and quite approach. Anything else and you run the risk of a violent/aggressive reaction either verbally or physically. You probably did the right thing. Every incident can only be dealt with at the time as you feel fits the circumstances.

I recently had a car pull out of a car park the driver on his mobile phone was paying no attention and in avoiding him I almost went over the handle bars.

I shouted at him to get off the phone and rode on. I was pulling up outside the café just 200 yards away. Then I saw the driver pull up and park. I walked slowly over to the car where upon the driver jumped out and began to scream and shout and began pushing me and grabbed hold of my jersey. I hadn't spoken at this point. I had to push this man away to get him to let go. I managed to calm him down and quietly explained my grievance. After a short while he came round to my view point and actually apologised and shook my hand.

My approach was not hostile and I did not use bad language or raise my voice. Had I done so I can only imagine the incident would have developed into a full blown punch up. My intention was to politely ask him to be more careful in the future,(similar to your situation?) fortunately something which he later promised to do.

On reflection I thought that had things gone pear shaped and the Police been called. He would no doubt have said I approached him in a threatening manner and he was fearful and merely defending himself. I would have been left looking like the one at fault.

It's all too easy to get into a confrontation that you didn't intend and end up in a worse situation. Judge each situation for yourself and be careful out there. :)

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mjr
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby mjr » 14 May 2015, 4:55pm

Yes, just so. Things can happen very unexpectedly. For the last leg of my journey home today, I didn't bother affixing the camera. Big oops. A bad motorist decided to punishment pass me through about the only known troublespot on that leg, revving around me and then swerving back in abruptly to stop in the left lane at the traffic light stop line. I shouted in horror because I honestly didn't think my brakes were doing to stop me before I splatted into his rear window but they did. He climbed out and it went something like "have you got a problem?" "you cut me up!" "you were in the middle of the lane!" "that's where I should be!" "no, get over to the side!" and then he got back in. Wish I'd had the camera running because either I've misremembered his number plate or he was using fakes.

The most stupid thing is that both lanes go straight on from that junction, so there was absolutely no need to pull back into the left lane. :roll:

Anyway, lesson learned: the camera goes on whenever I've got it with me, even if it makes me slower to start/stop.
MJR, mostly pedalling 3-speed roadsters. KL+West Norfolk BUG incl social easy rides http://www.klwnbug.co.uk
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Vantage
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby Vantage » 14 May 2015, 8:59pm

My natural reaction to these incidents tends to vary daily. One day I might just shrug it off and get on with enjoying my ride, others I might chase the offender and if I catch them I'll certainly have a few expletives for them.
Wednesday's ride was exceptional though.
5 of us cycling back to Bolton along the narrow twisty road just after Warburton Bridge toll booth and some twit in a Jag beeps at us from behind. Then, passing within inches and into oncoming traffic on a bend with a crest, his wife/partner/whatever shouted "Single file" to us. We were taking the lane to try prevent stupid overtakes and ironically, were in fact in single file. It was so ridiculous, I could only shake my head in disbelief and laugh :)
Bill


“Ride as much or as little, or as long or as short as you feel. But ride.” ~ Eddy Merckx
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Tonyf33
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby Tonyf33 » 15 May 2015, 2:31am

Tangled Metal wrote:Of course if the person having a word is male and the driver was female there could be an element of intimidation as you're reprimanding them through their car window. Not so in this case as both cyclist and driver were female, but it is something to consider. Intimidating behaviour is not right IMHO.

Quite right...you are talking about intimidating behaviour by the driver of the motorvehicle right? The behaviour that was shown not just once but twice in quick succession that could so easily have resulted in a serious incident.
I think you need to see the reality of the situation and not overthink whom is allowed to say what based on their sex/race/disability or orientation, if someone is in the wrong then if you don't say something they'll carry on without even knowing their actions are intimidating and/or dangerous which IMO is wrong, otherwise why even allow the police to deal with such matters, they might as well just ignore micturate poor behaviour especially if you're an elderly disabled women for example.
Just because you have a word or two about someone's behaviour that caused you to feel a certain element of fear doesn't by definition make it intimidating in itself. and words are never as hurtful as sticks and stones.

kwackers
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby kwackers » 15 May 2015, 9:46am

Old folk in a car? Wasting your time. IME yoofs will usually back down and apologise whilst old fogies never do, they think they're right and you're wrong - and the language!
As a rule they're mostly Conservative and self entitled and you're just scum...

I'm sure there's the odd one that doesn't fit that stereotype but I've never met one. ;)

Tonyf33
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby Tonyf33 » 15 May 2015, 11:34am

IMO it should be law that everyone is retested, yearly eyesight test and over a certain age a physical/mental test. the data spewn regarding younger drivers (compared to those over 70) doesn't take into account hours/miles driven. Some of the data even goes back to 1972 that is still being regurgitated.
http://www.theguardian.com/politics/rea ... -uk-age-18

AlaninWales
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby AlaninWales » 15 May 2015, 11:57am

Vantage wrote: It was so ridiculous, I could only shake my head in disbelief and laugh :)

Descending a steep hill and keeping the speed down to 30 as there was a 30 limit at the bottom. Woman driver dropping off her kid, pulls out of the schoolyard on my right, not even looking. No chance to brake, I swerved around and alongside and remained there for the 30 yards to join the T junction, where I asked her why she pulled out on me: "It's your fault you were riding two abreast".


I was cycling alone.

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Vantage
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby Vantage » 15 May 2015, 1:39pm

Ok you win. That had me in stitches :lol:
Bill


“Ride as much or as little, or as long or as short as you feel. But ride.” ~ Eddy Merckx
It's a rich man whos children run to him when his pockets are empty.

Dynamite_funk
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby Dynamite_funk » 15 May 2015, 2:39pm

Turning it more into a request than a finger pointing exercise often helps.

'Hello there, can I just have a quick word. Id really appreciate it if you considered how close you were to me on that overtake'

More often than not they are pretty surprised or apologise. No need to be angry, it simply won't work.

I always take my helmet off too as it makes me appear just to be a person and not a cyclist, seems to work for me!

Merry_Wanderer
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Re: Would you have said something?

Postby Merry_Wanderer » 15 May 2015, 7:35pm

I wonder if it was the same ugly white 4x4 that nearly cleaned me up in Nottingham the other week?

To cap it all I was almost run down on the zebra crossing opposite Nottingham station on Weds morning. I was pushing my bike across when a woman on a BSO came flying down the road and didn't stop even though I had to swerve out of her way. She seemed oblivious to my shout of "this is a zebra crossing", as did the 2 boys in blue who stood by and watched it happen!