When I'm dead .........

[landsurfer]

All over in 5 minutes followed by the wake.

The Wake .... 3 days for my Granny Whiteside, Auntie Jean ... just the 2 days .. but 3 days of fun and games packed into the 2 !
My Mum ... 2 days of fun and games , drinks and bacon sandwiches abound...
Party on Whitesides !!!
Uncle John ... an afternoon ... Snowflakes are not a new phenomena ... he has 3 sons ... the wrong one arranged the do ..
It was carried on at my Sisters ...... for most of the family ..into the next day ...
As head of the family I got some stick for not intervening during the afternoon event .... but .....
Such fun was had by all ........
Granny Whiteside ... 89 .. only cooked in a frying pan ... "heart attack on a plate" they call in Ulster ... it was ...
Aunt Jean ... 76, a life of disability .. but she was not happy about dying!!! The snow, thunder and lightening and general chaos at the mountain top burial said it all.
Mum ... 94 ... eating a pot of custard while chatting to my sister .. coughed twice ...Dead !
Uncle John ... Cancer .. 86 ... My stand-in Dad.

We do enjoy a good funeral in Ulster ... but only for the old ones .....

[9494arnold]

What an uplifting item

I think an acquaintance called Eric got it right. Out on his bike every morning, home , lunch cup of tea , nap. Simply didn't wake up one day.

Purely practical here.

Have you heard of a "drop off" at the Crematorium. No service, no mourners no vicar. That's it. You are in the hands of the Crem staff.

And inheritance. My friend the cycling solicitor pointed out that if the property goes to the spouse, when the partner dies, then to the kids when the other parent dies, you are paying an element of death duties twice.

My parents willed direct to me ( only child) on the demise of one, so I own 50% of the family estate and will inherit the other 50% when my father passes on. Suppose it depends if you can rely on the kids not to try and evict you!

[Canuk]

Bury me deep and mourn not. Better to be above ground and smiling than below. In the end everyone is forgotten.

[Oldjohnw]

friend the cycling solicitor pointed out that if the property goes to the spouse

I always thought that transfers between spouses was an exempt transaction.

[Tangled Metal]

A walking group friend once took the group to a Churchyard at the end of a walk he led in his home patch. We wondered why but he wanted to show his friends where he's being buried when he dies only 25 at the time!

It seems his family came from the area (possibly from all sides of the hill range behind the little village). It was a family patch, bought and paid for a few generations back I believe. His family all picked where they want to go in this pitch. He's between one grandparent and one set of great grandparents.

I find that strange personally. With modern times people really move around. If you're 25 years old you potentially have a long life ahead of you. It's likely you will find a place you're more rooted in. His sister had moved to a farm an hour north of him (he's living in a house on his parents farm). They both have their piece of ground.

Anyone see those adverts for that simple funeral company? Interesting.

My view is that I have one criteria. A bit controversial but it's what is important to me for a confused reason. It might be fear of what happens next or just something else. That criteria is I don't want my body used for medical research, transplants or anything. It. Must be as intact as possible when it's buried or burnt. Anything else is up to whoever owns my body legally.

Before anyone criticises me for being against becoming an organ donor it is a firmly held wish. I'm registered as not wanting to be a donor on NHS sites for that. I give blood while living, I might donate a kidney or bone marrow to family or friends when alive but not dead. I know it's not right and hypocritical because I'd accept a donated organ. I can't put words to my feelings on this matter but it distresses me to think it won't happen as I wish when I die so it's a strongly held as a religious reason or conviction.

It would be nice to be cremated and the ashes disposed of in an unusual location in a nice place. Possibly somewhere not very well known within a well visited area like the Lake District. There's a rock out rocky outcrop I know where atop it is a flat, grassy space that's perfect for a sneaky wild camp. There would be good. I don't think many people will know about that. We found it by accident.maybe two or three tents if small enough but that would give the location away. A few tarps and bivvies wouldn't be spotted.

[landsurfer]

Clickbait ... or a genuine belief ?
Respect either way please ...

[PH]

It is possible to do a crem job with no service and no mourners. Someone can collect the ashes later and any personal aspect can be attended to at the scattering, preferably not on a windy day.

yes see simplicity cremations https://www.simplicity.co.uk/

Or for about half the price, £500, there's services that take you in a van, cremate you in a shroud, at whatever crematorium has spare capacity
This isn't the one I was thinking of but it's the first google find
https://express-cremations.co.uk/express-cremation/

But - the point to remember is that the funeral isn't for the deceased, you may be happy going in a bin bag, but if those close to you want to send you off in a different way it ought to be there choice to make.

[Cunobelin]

Yes, made a will.

I am married with two daughters and one grandson. Unlikely to have any more offspring.
Which ever one of the two of us dies first gets it, and when we've both gone, the two daughters get it. If all four of us cop it, the grandson gets it. If all five of us cops it all at once, I don't care who gets it.

You can't take it with you.

Remember sitting in a pub one night with another couple whose parents were going on s second cruise that year and moaning how they were spending "their inheritance" and if they carried on like this it would not be worth anything!

There is an expectation in some cases that they will gain financially at the death of their parents

[Cunobelin]

It is possible to do a crem job with no service and no mourners. Someone can collect the ashes later and any personal aspect can be attended to at the scattering, preferably not on a windy day.

yes see simplicity cremations https://www.simplicity.co.uk/

Or for about half the price, £500, there's services that take you in a van, cremate you in a shroud, at whatever crematorium has spare capacity
This isn't the one I was thinking of but it's the first google find
https://express-cremations.co.uk/express-cremation/

But - the point to remember is that the funeral isn't for the deceased, you may be happy going in a bin bag, but if those close to you want to send you off in a different way it ought to be there choice to make.

We had a colleague at work who died and had a "Humanist Funeral", she was buried in a wicker casket in a lovely woodland setting.

All these who attend were moved at how relaxed and peaceful that it was, and several are looking seriously into something similar

[Oldjohnw]

Humanist funeral does not equate to woodland or natural. You can have religious including Anglican and be buried in woodland and you can have humanist service and a cemetery burial.

[9494arnold]

I quite agree re inheritance , I wish my father would spend some(or frankly all of it!) and make his own life more comfortable.

And it is more for those left behind.

[Mick F]

Hi,

Yes, made a will.

I am married with two daughters and one grandson. Unlikely to have any more offspring.
Which ever one of the two of us dies first gets it, and when we've both gone, the two daughters get it. If all four of us cop it, the grandson gets it. If all five of us cops it all at once, I don't care who gets it.

You can't take it with you.

Wishes of disposal of your remains?

Chuck me in the recycling.
Spend nothing.

You come into this world - no charge.
You have health care - no charge.

You die - and you have to pay!
Why?

[Tangled Metal]

You come into this world - your parents pay through taxation.
You get partly paid for healthcare - wholly paid for by taxation or you have to pay privately (eg dental work or optical care).
You die - why stop there? You pay for this as well. You don't want to pay directly? Let's have another tax and let the state decide on your funeral. Times of plenty it'll be good for those left behind. Time of austerity it'll be a bag and burnt. Possibly without family present.

Sorry to be pessimistic but you pay for everything one way or another if you're taxed. Of course you might not be paying enough to cover all the costs of your state services, there's a threshold earnings before your state contributions break even with your share of services.

[Oldjohnw]

I own a double cemetery plot, purchased over 30 years ago when my first wife passed away. When I drop off life's conveyor belt do I get dumped there or in another plot my leftovers can share with my current wife when she shuffles along? How would my kids handle it, one being from each marriage?

My current thinking is a woodland burial. As a church person (former lay minister) I have researched this and my Anglican Church is quite happy to accommodate my wishes.

I have no particular interest regarding my funeral arrangements and service subject the actual burial place, given that I will only be there as a stiff. But my family and friends will want the rite of passage a traditional funeral affords.

[pwa]

I've told my family what to do with my remains so they don't feel guilty about not having a service, flowers and all that stuff. They are to have me cremated with minimal fuss then scatter the ashes in small batches around the hundreds of acres of Methyr Mawr Warren, a place where we regularly take long walks and enjoy quality time. They will remember me whenever they go there.https://www.google.com/maps/@51.4875961 ... 6?hl=en-GB