Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
^ Very good
My doctor has just prescribed me with a 3-month course of a herb. He said that Thyme is a great healer.
My doctor has just prescribed me with a 3-month course of a herb. He said that Thyme is a great healer.
Cycling UK Life Member
PBP Ancien (2007)
PBP Ancien (2007)
-
- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Two lads turned up to ride on the new velodrome
Bryn was nine years old, a bike to fit him was soon found, but Cyril was only six and a bit, and short for his age, he needed a very small machine
'Cyril is so small', bleated the trainer
..
'Of course, he is my half-brother!' explained Bryn
Bryn was nine years old, a bike to fit him was soon found, but Cyril was only six and a bit, and short for his age, he needed a very small machine
'Cyril is so small', bleated the trainer
..
'Of course, he is my half-brother!' explained Bryn
Last edited by Cyril Haearn on 14 Jun 2019, 5:32am, edited 1 time in total.
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
-
- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
At the pet shop
Customer: 'do you have monkeys?'
The junior salesperson hesitated..
'Please to wait while I fetch the manager'
Customer: 'do you have monkeys?'
The junior salesperson hesitated..
'Please to wait while I fetch the manager'
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Cyril Haearn wrote:"Please to wait while I fetch the manager"
Last edited by Debs on 14 Jun 2019, 12:08pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I’ve been out looking for some roadkill, but it’s a bit thin on the ground.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
This old farmer goes along to the doctor, and says "Doctor, I have these 'ere warts on me backside..."
Doctor carries out a brief examination, and says "Don't worry, they're benign."
"Please count again Doctor, I'm sure there be ten..."
Doctor carries out a brief examination, and says "Don't worry, they're benign."
"Please count again Doctor, I'm sure there be ten..."
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
An illusionists assistant planned to sue him for millions by faking an injury when being cut in half but the ruse went to pieces when he saw right through it.
The older I get the more I’m inclined to act my shoe size, not my age.
-
- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Cyril was small but smart, he read a lot
'Mum, it says in the Grauniad that there are too many children in the schools and too few teachers. Could Bryn and I stay at home for a while so the poor teachers do not have to work so hard? ', he suggested
'Mum, it says in the Grauniad that there are too many children in the schools and too few teachers. Could Bryn and I stay at home for a while so the poor teachers do not have to work so hard? ', he suggested
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
-
- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Bryn and Cyril soon became regulars at the velodrome, they got on well with the trainer, he seemed to know everything
Before each race he explained exactly how one might win, after every race he explained exactly why neither had won
Before each race he explained exactly how one might win, after every race he explained exactly why neither had won
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
- NATURAL ANKLING
- Posts: 13780
- Joined: 24 Oct 2012, 10:43pm
- Location: English Riviera
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Hi,
Why not
661-Pete wrote:An insignificant little chap is quietly having lunch in a transport cafe, when a gang of Hell’s Angels lurch in. They assemble menacingly, surrounding the man, one of them reaches over to his plate, picks up a chip, dips it in the egg-yolk and eats it. Another grabs a sausage, takes a bite off it, then puts it back. A third takes a slurp from his mug of tea. This goes on for several minutes, then the man, who has taken no notice, quietly gets up without a word, pays, and leaves. One of the Hell's Angels walks up to the counter. “That bloke who just went out. Not much of a man is he?” he says. “He’s not much of a driver either,” replies the cafe owner, after a brief glance out of the window. “He’s just reversed his 44-tonne artic. over a dozen Harley Davidsons...”
Why not
NA Thinks Just End 2 End Return + Bivvy - Some day Soon I hope
You'll Still Find Me At The Top Of A Hill
Please forgive the poor Grammar I blame it on my mobile and phat thinkers.
You'll Still Find Me At The Top Of A Hill
Please forgive the poor Grammar I blame it on my mobile and phat thinkers.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Botox used to be so rare... but now nobody raises an eyebrow.
Cycling UK Life Member
PBP Ancien (2007)
PBP Ancien (2007)
-
- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Took some fireworks back to the shop
'None of them worked', I bleated
'That is queer, I tested them all before selling them', puzzled the shopkeeper
'None of them worked', I bleated
'That is queer, I tested them all before selling them', puzzled the shopkeeper
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Two small boys went into a pub.
"Are you over 18?" asked the barman.
" 'Course we are. I'm 11, and my brother's 8..."
"Are you over 18?" asked the barman.
" 'Course we are. I'm 11, and my brother's 8..."
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
-
- Posts: 15215
- Joined: 30 Nov 2013, 11:26am
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
'I am not small, my pet reptile' Tiny' is much smaller than me' bleated Cyril
'Tiny?'
'Yes, he is my newt!'
'Tiny?'
'Yes, he is my newt!'
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies