The Tragic Proliferation of ‘Drive-Cycling’

[Cyril Haearn]

Good for kiddies to learn cycling too
I have adjusted your TDC index accordingly

[mattheus]

Delightful slabs of sandstone have replaced the grass of doom ... no more the lawnmower shredding hidden dog poo across the children's play area .. They play ball in all its forms without treading the dog poo across the carpets ... The decking, 5m x 4 m, with its layer of artificial grass is the soft play area for dolls and and imagined adventures .... which is nice.

I haven't read the posts preceding this one, and I fear that may detract from the marvellous surreal non-sequitur nature.

It's like the English answer to haiku. Possibly nonsense, but I enjoyed reading it.

[landsurfer]

It's like the English answer to haiku. Possibly nonsense, but I enjoyed reading it.

[Cugel]

Delightful slabs of sandstone have replaced the grass of doom ... no more the lawnmower shredding hidden dog poo across the children's play area .. They play ball in all its forms without treading the dog poo across the carpets ... The decking, 5m x 4 m, with its layer of artificial grass is the soft play area for dolls and and imagined adventures .... which is nice.

Soon you will be a virtual cyclist on Zwifter or some such. The children will be playing in a cyberscape, plugged in with a head-goggler and perhaps various other sensorium-stimulators producing smells, noises, feelings in the fingers ....... I believe they kep such scapes free of dog poo albeit there may be other stuff toxic to the mind.

Reality is sometimes a nuisance as it has it's own awkward little habits and procedures that do not always take account of the human and it's many desires. Still, one can find a way through by putting up with the odd inconvenience in order to enjoy the feel of the real. After all, what's a bit of hay fever or even dog poo on your shoe?

Of course, you could train the hound to be more considerate when toileting. The collies are now content to leave theirs in the deep dark wood, where only a goblin might tread in it, although it's much more likely to feed a big muscular tree or even a pretty foxglove.

Cugel, keen to separate the natural from the artificial for some reason.

[Cunobelin]

Mowing lawns, electric, what are lawns good for? How much time do you spend mowing them? Why not get a few sheep? I used to use a hand mower, no motor at all, that was fun

Is 'Mo Mowlem' anything to do with lawns?

Four questions, hoping for four answers

This is the first lawn (three, in fact) I ever had responsibility for. Normally the gardens have been enshruberated, to make maintenance teeny and lots of bird nesting spots. This new hoose came with lawns, as well as loadsa shrubbery already full of the bird life (and rabbits).

The lawns are above the landscape, as is the hoose. The collies now use them for lying on so they can gaze about imperiously at their new domains. They require that I keep the grass low so they can see-out as they lie gazing and dozing in the sun. Also, the rabbits enjoy the many herbiferous contents of those lawns, which are not the pristine green stripey things one sees at the bungalows of ex-soldiers needing to keep up the neat-stuff-in-the-barracks thing and so employing gallons of carcinogenic chemical.

I try to spend no time mowing the lawns but finding other important things to do until the ladywife does it. This week she has a small back twangle and so I must operate the electric grass chopper. The rote is about once every three weeks in the growing times. (Six weeks if it's me).

There are sheep to all sides! They crop the fields voraciously and do eye-up the lawns, as they push at the hedges looking for a way through to the grass that is greener "over there". Alas, the collies would 'round them up from the lawn, perhaps taking a small nibble at a sheep ankle or two. I believe the sheep to be hobby-sheep, with owners who are fanatical about their darlings so such collie-sheep shenanigans would not go down well.

Hand mowers are for masochists. Also, they cut off your toes as soon as look at you. And your fingers, as you try to sharpen them. (They were still sharp but get you to put your hand in the blades by pretending they aren't).

A mo-molem is a golem but with one of those stuttery 2-stroke engines to help with their application of evil operations.

Cugel

Did someone mention shrubbery?


[youtube]2UbtcmjfKa8[/youtube]

[reohn2]

Haiku
To-con-vey one’s mood
In sev-en-teen syll-able-s
Is ve-ry dif-fic

John Coope Clarke

[mattheus]

... Tri-cky.

(But I bow to JCC's genius in all things.)

[reohn2]

... Tri-cky.

(But I bow to JCC's genius in all things.)

[firedfromthecircus]

Since the initiation of this thread and my earlier reply, I have now become a TDCer myself.
I can assure everyone that this is much to my chagrin, but a donkeys back can only take so much straw, and this donkey had reached his limit.

[Vorpal]

Mowing lawns, electric, what are lawns good for? How much time do you spend mowing them? Why not get a few sheep? I used to use a hand mower, no motor at all, that was fun

Is 'Mo Mowlem' anything to do with lawns?

Four questions, hoping for four answers

I've (mostly) given up mowing my lawn. I have a largeish back garden, and I am letting the grassy bits go wild, except for a path to & from the shed, and a couple of other places. I have some beds for vegetables. I have also planted some wildflowers, and even a few domestic breeds that are wildlife friendly and unlikely to take over. We have lots of ground elder, though, which I am not especially fond of.

[kwackers]

Mowing lawns, electric, what are lawns good for? How much time do you spend mowing them? Why not get a few sheep? I used to use a hand mower, no motor at all, that was fun

Is 'Mo Mowlem' anything to do with lawns?

Four questions, hoping for four answers

Playing games and lying on.
An hour a week.
Looking after sheep requires a livestock license, more than an hour a week worth of looking after and vet's bills.
Hand mower? Reckon it would take at least 4 hours each week. That's not fun.

When my petrol mower breaths its last (I inherited it with the house) I'll replace it with a battery mower - or better still a robot mower (they should be pretty good by then).

[Vorpal]

I reckon there is no need to mow. I guess if you want to prevent trees and bushes form growing, mowing once or twice per year is probably the easiest way to deal with it, but you can also just pull up anything that you don't want. Lawns are a con job.

[landsurfer]

Haiku
To-con-vey one’s mood
In sev-en-teen syll-able-s
Is ve-ry dif-fic

John Coope Clarke

JCC is outstanding ....

[landsurfer]

How do we all feel about the ... TPRC ..... ?

Personally i am a great fan even though its a "kill the planet" vector ... all that red diesel .....

[reohn2]

Haiku
To-con-vey one’s mood
In sev-en-teen syll-able-s
Is ve-ry dif-fic

John Coope Clarke

JCC is outstanding ....