Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

Spinners wrote:Cyril Haearn will probably be familiar with English tourists visiting Wales and asking for directions "to the Hotel Gwesty".

Gwesty Hotel in the north, if you please :wink:
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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

'Cyril, why do you always sit at the back of the class so quietly? I wonder whether you are falling asleep', bleated the teacher

'I do give that impression, because so many undiscovered talents are slumbering in my breast', explained the lad
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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

- Dad, what is it like having the best son in the world?
- Dunno, lad, ask yer grandfather!
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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

- My great-grandfather is 90, he jogs 3 km every morning!
- Wow, what does he do in the afternoon?
- He starts on the way back home :?
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kwackers
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by kwackers »

Cyril Haearn wrote:- Dad, what is it like having the best son in the world?
- Dunno, lad, ask yer grandfather!

Reminds me of the Simpson joke.

Homer comes in on Lisa and Bart fighting.
Homer softens when Bart says "we were fighting over who loves you the most".
So he allows the fight to continue:

"You love him more!"
"No, you love him more"
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Audax67
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Audax67 »

Cyril Haearn wrote:A couple from trumpland were staying in Berlin for a conference, the wife had an evening meeting, the hubby had some free time so he decided to go for a walk
He carefully noted the name of the street where they were staying, and set off

After a couple of hours he decided it was time to go back so he stopped a stranger and asked if she knew the way to..

'Einbahnstrasse'
(one-way street) :?


Client of mine had premises in the Fahrtgasse in Heidelberg.
Have we got time for another cuppa?
Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

Audax67 wrote:
Cyril Haearn wrote:A couple from trumpland were staying in Berlin for a conference, the wife had an evening meeting, the hubby had some free time so he decided to go for a walk
He carefully noted the name of the street where they were staying, and set off

After a couple of hours he decided it was time to go back so he stopped a stranger and asked if she knew the way to..

'Einbahnstrasse'
(one-way street) :?


Client of mine had premises in the Fahrtgasse in Heidelberg.

Not so far from Pforz-heim, fart-home, or Darm-stadt, intestine-town :wink:
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661-Pete
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by 661-Pete »

You don't have to go as far as Germany to see funny translations. Many have famously cropped up in Wales - though admittedly they'll only make sense to a Welsh speaker. Here is an example:
Image
Apparently the Welsh reads "I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated."
Suppose that this room is a lift. The support breaks and down we go with ever-increasing velocity.
Let us pass the time by performing physical experiments...
--- Arthur Eddington (creator of the Eddington Number).
richardfm
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by richardfm »

Spinners wrote:Cyril Haearn will probably be familiar with English tourists visiting Wales and asking for directions "to the Hotel Gwesty".

Then there all those footpaths to Llwybr Cyhoeddus. So many places with the same name
Richard M
Cardiff
Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

Not to mention Llanfair but that is no problem, the name is extended so the navi knows how to get to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantisiliogogogoch :wink:
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profpointy
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by profpointy »

Pastychomper wrote:"What's a Grecian urn?", I asked the antiques dealer.

"About a thousand Euros a month," came the reply.


And what's the capital of Greece?

"about 500 Euros"
Debs
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Debs »

I recently installed a high current electric fence around my house.
My neighbour is dead against it.
Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

- Late for school. Again! - barked the teacher :?

- Sorry, I had to wait for mum to finish my homework - bleated Cyril
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Cyril Haearn
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by Cyril Haearn »

A rabbit cycled up to the fuel pumps
'Fill her up, please!', he called to the attendant
'You must have a screw loose', came the reply
'Right again, please to tighten it too'
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pete75
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

Post by pete75 »

My children keep mocking my Alzheimer's but they won't be laughing at Christmas when there's no eggs under the bonfire.
'Give me my bike, a bit of sunshine - and a stop-off for a lunchtime pint - and I'm a happy man.' - Reg Baker
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