Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

[Audax67]

Government sponsored research has shown that birthdays are very good for your health.
Extensive studies, costing millions, have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.

You'd think so, but those who have had the most haven't got that long to live.

[Cowsham]

In 2015 everyone who went for a job interview and was asked...

‘Where do yo see yourself in five years?”

...got the answer wrong.

[Cyril Haearn]

Why do illegally parked vehicles have their windscreen wipers moving?
So a traffic warder has nowhere to fasten a ticket

[mercalia]

[mercalia]

[al_yrpal]

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit, “what’ll it be?”
The rabbit says, “I dunno. I’m only here because of Autocorrect.

Al

[Mick F]

[al_yrpal]

Or, the pre technology version.....

A bishop, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The barman asks the rabbit, “what’ll it be"?
The rabbit says, ‘I dunno I think I’m a typo"

Al

[peetee]

Or

....walk into a blood donor clinic. The rabbit is asked what group he is and he replies.
“I think I’m a typo”

[Audax67]

Or...

"...and the circumcision was duly performed by the rabbit".

It's those big front teeth.

[mercalia]

Buggs bunny just doesnt understand why he is to be put down as he isnt rabid

[Mike Sales]

We are going to have an applause session for all the delivery workers.
It will be sometime between 9am and 5pm.

[kwackers]

We are going to have an applause session for all the delivery workers.
It will be sometime between 9am and 5pm.

And they'll send you an email to let you know what time after they've had it.

(One of the pluses of lockdown, everyone now just dumps my parcels on my step - although in fairness they used to leave them in my shed apart from Royal Mail who seem to have a perverse liking for forcing you to go and queue at the sorting office for hours).

[Debs]

It’s been a funny old day for me so far.

First I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar…

[mercalia]

We are going to have an applause session for all the delivery workers.
It will be sometime between 9am and 5pm.

And they'll send you an email to let you know what time after they've had it.

(One of the pluses of lockdown, everyone now just dumps my parcels on my step - although in fairness they used to leave them in my shed apart from Royal Mail who seem to have a perverse liking for forcing you to go and queue at the sorting office for hours).

Not a joke I bought an item from a UK seller in London, that was marked Royal Mail 24 and took a MONTH TO ARRIVE

I bought an item from China and if the tracking is to be believed Royal Mail held onto it for 2 WEEKS before delivering - longer than it took to get from China to pass through Heathrow customs