Cyril Haearn wrote:How does one know someone is a vegan, vegetarian, evangelical christian, yorkshireperson (etc etc)?
..
She tells one at the first opportunity
Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
How does one know when one is sexist.
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
kwackers wrote:How does one know when one is sexist.Cyril Haearn wrote:How does one know someone is a vegan, vegetarian, evangelical christian, yorkshireperson (etc etc)?
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She tells one at the first opportunity
Are you casting nasturtiums? I use female words a lot to try *not* to be sexist
Should one use 'she/he', or 'they', or even 'it'?
I use "one" a lot. I belong to a minority group with majority status (male)
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I am sexist; I much prefer women - the delightful and much more civilised portion of humanity.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
I went to the Doctor the other day, I said:
'Doctor, I've got a nasty pain in the bum'.
Doctor said,
'I see, can you break wind?'
I said,
'Yes thank you'
She said,
No, would you please break wind, now'.
I said,
BbrrraaahpP'!! Bbraap! Bbraap! Eeahoooooda!!!
She said,
'You have an Abscess'.
I said,
'Goodness gracious me! How do you know that'?
She replied,
'It's the Abscess makes the fart go Honda'
'Doctor, I've got a nasty pain in the bum'.
Doctor said,
'I see, can you break wind?'
I said,
'Yes thank you'
She said,
No, would you please break wind, now'.
I said,
BbrrraaahpP'!! Bbraap! Bbraap! Eeahoooooda!!!
She said,
'You have an Abscess'.
I said,
'Goodness gracious me! How do you know that'?
She replied,
'It's the Abscess makes the fart go Honda'
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
So thats who is in charge. figures?
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Neville the forgetful cannibal was always late for the dinner party.
He was given the cold shoulder, then the elbow.
He was given the cold shoulder, then the elbow.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Debs wrote:Neville the forgetful cannibal was always late for the dinner party.
He was given the cold shoulder, then the elbow.
and since he persisted in this rude habit that was so disrespectful to the host, he was given the finger and then given the boot. But he still tried to keep his foot in the door, so that was added to the menu.
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Two cannibals are eating a comedian, Neville asked, "Does this taste funny?"
~~~~¯\(ツ)/¯~~~~
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
'Why are you late for work?' barked the boss
'I fell off the scaffolding' bleated the labourer
'Surely that didnae take three hours!'
'I fell off the scaffolding' bleated the labourer
'Surely that didnae take three hours!'
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
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Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
East Berlin, 1983, privates on parade. A soldier farted
'Where did you get the beans?', barked the sargeant
'Where did you get the beans?', barked the sargeant
Entertainer, juvenile, curmudgeon, PoB, 30120
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Cycling-of course, but it is far better on a Gillott
We love safety cameras, we hate bullies
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Cyril Haearn wrote:East Berlin, 1983, privates on parade. A soldier farted
'Where did you get the beans?', barked the sargeant
and he replied
Beanz Meanz Heinz
[youtube]F_i3AlMCEjw[/youtube]
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
well it deserved to be put here also
Re: Funniest clean joke I've heard recently
Todays Legal Secretary on Radio 4, complaining bitterly that's she's been made redundant and is having to look for a job
But as she's stated on numerous occasions on Radio 4* today, there "are too many people, chasing too many jobs" . God, I wouldn't want that Legal Secretary processing my legal matters (NB. I suspect they keep on repeating it, as the plaintive note adds to the efffect)
But as she's stated on numerous occasions on Radio 4* today, there "are too many people, chasing too many jobs" . God, I wouldn't want that Legal Secretary processing my legal matters (NB. I suspect they keep on repeating it, as the plaintive note adds to the efffect)