Puns here please

[Cyril Haearn]

I love jokes. I am not so interested in puns, but there are a lot of puns on the joke thread
Please put puns here in future, and jokes on the joke thread

[merseymouth]

Wow! A"Pun" my word, who kicked your donkey mate? Punning depends on agility of mind, something not many comics possess.
For me the greatest Pun Master was Tommy Handley, he of I.T.M.A. fame. Such greats as "I hope you show decorum?", "Isn't that what you do to apples before you bake em?"
Remember the Ken Goodwright joke - "The other day the postman knocked at my door, he complained the my dog had eaten his hat!" ,"I don't care said I". He kept on "It's ate my official hat!", "Not bothered " said I. Came back with "I don't like your attitude!", I of course said "It's not my attitude, It's your at ee chewed"! MM

[[XAP]Bob]

A good pun is it's own reword.

[colin54]

Has the OP appointed himself forum Puntiff ?
I haven't spotted any smoke coming from the chimney...

[Cyril Haearn]

I sort of fancy myself as a local shire-iff, or PSO, Police-shaped object, already got a hi-vis vest with text

[Oldjohnw]

Has the OP appointed himself forum Puntiff ?
I haven't spotted any smoke coming from the chimney...

Very punny

[simonineaston]

If puns are intended to amuse, then in what way are they not a joke? When is a joke, not a joke - when is a door, not a door? Does the punch-line depend on punning? Are all puns funny? Are all jokes funny? God (a god, not any one god in particular) help us all (not meant as a joke...).

[Pastychomper]

Code: Select all

_____________________________________
|                 ^                 |
|               / ! \               |
|               ¯¯¯¯¯               |
|        Incorrigible punster       |
|                                   |
|      Please do not incorrige      |
|                                   |
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
                 | |
                 | |
                 | |
                 | |
          ..\ \ .| |./,/,,

[cooper_coleraine]

Why did Karl Marx ( Proudhon] not drink tea? Because property is theft.

[cotterpins]

Surely, we're all gluttons for PUNishment.

[PDQ Mobile]

Stop.
No more pun and games please