Funniest clean joke I've heard recently

[colin54]

Isn't the nom joke from the Phnom's Penh originally ?

[pete75]

[kwackers]

[mercalia]

seems like there is a mink-zombie apocalypse in Dennark is it where they killed and buried 3m underground 17m covid-minks. According to LBC a few minutes ago they are rising from the dead. They are so bloated with gases as corpses tend to do they are rising to the surface of the ground. Must be a shocking site

[mercalia]

[mercalia]

here is the story about the Zombie Covid-Minks rising from the grave

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8985681/Denmark-coronavirus-Zombie-minks-rise-grave-decomposing-bodies-swell.html

and many Cambridge studants become the butt of many jokes

Seat of learning! Cheeky Cambridge students bare all as they pose naked on rooftops, in the street and even in the library in battle for 'best bum'


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8985957/Bottoms-Cheeky-Cambridge-students-pose-naked-battle-best-bum.html

[Debs]

Capture.JPG

A few days ago i received a letter, addressed to 'The householder'.

It was written in a green hand writing style print and contained an inviting message about "The Kingdom of God"... Wow! at first i thought it was from Boris at number 10 Downing Street, but no it was actually from the friendly neighbourhood JWs who have taken to writing letters because they're not allowed to knock on doors during this covid crisis.

and just to keep on topic:

I have one of those JW advent calendars, every time i open a door on it i see someone telling me to F*** Off!

[pete75]

I have one of those JW advent calendars, every time i open a door on it i see someone telling me to F*** Off!

As opposed to an Eton advent calendar. Just the same as a normal one except your father's contacts open the doors for you.

[mercalia]

I have one of those JW advent calendars, every time i open a door on it i see someone telling me to F*** Off!

As opposed to an Eton advent calendar. Just the same as a normal one except your father's contacts open the doors for you.

or a tory one the days to finally Brexit

[Debs]

As opposed to an Eton advent calendar. Just the same as a normal one except your father's contacts open the doors for you.

My father went to Eton College.
They said that during his stay there he worked diligently and with great enthusiasm. He also exhibited masterful abilities with communication skills that successfully brought about marvellous improvements to the way in which the College could gain important contacts from all over the world.
Anyway, after the half an hour it took my Dad to repair the Eton College telephone switchboard, he collected up his tools, got back in his van and drove back to the GPO depot

[fausto copy]

He was a much cleverer man than me then Debs.
I could never follow the circuit diagram of those switchboards and failed one training course because of it.
However, sat in the toilets consoling myself, I notice one joke (witticism) scrawled on the adjacent wall.
It's the only one I can ever remember (even 50 years later) but, as expected, it's too rude to reveal on here.

[mercalia]

[Oldjohnw]

A version of the start of A Take of Two Cities, based around two newspapers:

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

[Cyril Haearn]

A version of the start of A Take of Two Cities, based around two newspapers:

It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.

Is that a joke or a pun?

[Jdsk]

Do you think of those as being disjunct?

Jonathan